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troperville

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tools

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toys

The Film

• The whole final cross-examine when Elle is put in charge of representing Brooke. The witness, Chutney Windham (daughter of the man who was killed) claimed that Brooke killed her father while she was in the shower.
  Elle: Ms. Windham, what had you done earlier that day?
  Chutney Windham: I got up. Got a latte. Went to the gym. Got a perm and came home.
  Elle: Where you got in the shower?
  The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: I believe the witness has made it clear that she was in the shower.
  [Courtroom audience laughs]
  Elle: Yes, your Honor. [a sudden brainstorm comes over Elle] Ms. Windham, had you ever gotten a perm before?
  Chutney Windham: Yes.
  Elle: How many have you had?
  Chutney Windham: Two a year since I was 12. You do the math.
  Elle: You know, a girl in my sorority, Tracy Marcinco got a perm once. We all tried to talk her out of it. Curls weren't a good look for her. She didn't have your bone structure, but thankfully that same day she entered the Pheta Delta Phi wet t-shirt contest where she was completely hosed to down from head to toe...
  DA Joyce Rafferty: Objection, why is this relevant?
  Elle: I have a point, I promise.
  The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Then make it.
  Elle: Chutney, why is it Tracy Marcinco's curls were ruined when she got hosed down?
  Chutney Windham: Because they got wet.
  Elle: Exactly. Because isn't the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate?
  Chutney Windham: Yes.
  Elle: And wouldn't somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren't washing your hair as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?
  Chutney Windham: She's my age! Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?
  Elle: You, however, Chutney had time to hide the gun after you shot your father.
  Chutney Windham: [Chutney is in tears] I didn't mean to shoot him! [points at Brooke] I thought it was YOU walking through the door!
  [Courtroom audience gasps]
  Elle: Oh my God.
  The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Oh my God.
  Brooke: Oh my God.
  The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Bailiff, take the witness into custody, where she will be charged for the murder of Joseph Windham. Case dismissed. Mrs. Windham, you're free to go.
  Brooke: Thank you, your honor.
• Vivian has told invited Elle to a party, telling her it was a costume party. Elle shows up as a Playboy Bunny... and everyone else is dressed normally.
  Vivian: Nice outfit.
  Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too. Except when I dress up as a frigid bitch? I try not to look so constipated.
• Paulette when she stuck it to her ex-husband.
  Paulette: I'm taking the dog, DUMBASS!
• At the end of the movie, when Warner decides he wants to get back with Elle, and she shoots him down awesomely:
  Elle: If I'm going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I'm thirty, I need a boyfriend who isn't a total bonehead.

The Musical

• Most characters get at least one.
• The You Get Me Coffee moment works for Callahan.
  • Even if he dethrones himself the next minute.
• The Legally Blonde reprise for Vivienne.
  Elle: All this time I thought I was proving myself and making a difference, but it turns out I'm just one big blonde joke and that's all everybody's ever gonna see.
  Vivienne: That's not what I see.
• Bend and Snap for Paulette and the sorority sisters.
• The clothes change on Legally Blonde for Elle.
• Take It Like A Man for Emmett.
  • Emmett gets two Moments of Awesome. His second is right after Callahan recently fired by Brooke states that Elle can't represent Brooke without a licensed attorney to supervise, and that without him, she can't. Emmett retorts that he's licensed and he'll gladly supervise.
  Callahan: Like hell you will. You work for me, remember?
  Emmett: No. I work for myself. (venomously) And I don't have to hit on interns, Professor.
• Meta CMOA for whoever plays Brooke: the actress has to perform an incredibly demanding athletic routine while belting out a showstopping number. Eight shows a week.