- Shortly after having been 'given to himself' by Carrot, the free-willed Dorfl is dismantled by the 'king' golem, his chem torn out and crumpled. Then, when things are really dire for the Watchmen, Dorfl - with neither life, nor magic to sustain him - re-animates long enough to destroy the 'king' and scrawl one last message: "Words In The Heart Can Not Be Taken."
- "The golem opened his eyes."
- At the end when Dorfl and Vimes have confronted the Big Bad. There are several sub-moments, but among the best is Dorfl saying he won't kill the villain - even though he deserves it.
Dorfl: I Could Kill You. This Is An Option Available To Me As A Free-Thinking Individual But I Will Not Do So Because I Own Myself And I Have Made A Moral Choice.
- Vimes pretending to be drunk and punching Downey, then the conversation that follows.
- "Undead Or Alive, You're Coming With Me."
- Dragon King of Arms announces all his plans to the hero in the first chapter through puns. If any of the Watch had had a head for canting, the book would have been about fifty pages long.
- Vimes basically swears Dorfl in as a police officer (and thus helps to redefine the existing power structure between humans and golems) because the establishment would be outraged.
- He also swears in several zombies to patrol a neighborhood where a bigot had been complaining about having dwarf Watchmen in the vicinity. After all, the zombies are human, right? Retired humans, but still humans!
- The extended sequence where a mob tries to smash Dorfl is both this and hilarious. The mob try to smash Dorfl because of the rumours of Golems killing people. Carrot tells them that's murder, so they try to convince Carrot that it wouldn't be murder to kill one because they're not alive, and so the Watch can't stop them. Carrot threatens to arrest them for damage to private property instead, since all Golems were at this point 'owned' by their masters, and points out that if Dorfl's a possession, his owner, Mr. Sock, is technically the murderer. Sock claims on the spot that he doesn't want Dorfl any more and they can smash him, and Carrot tells him that he'll arrest Sock for littering if he does so. Instead, Carrot buys Dorfl for a dollar. And insists on a receipt!
- Dorfl getting the priests to deflect their anger from Vimes to each other, then agreeing to debate 'the priest of the most worthy god' on his day off. Seconds later, he blithely tells Vimes that he doesn't need any days off.
- An atheist who's immune to lightning bolts...
- Angua knows Cheery is wearing silver chainmail, and may hate her once she finds out she's a werewolf, yet doesn't hesitate to grab the chainmail in her mouth (burning herself badly) to rescue her dwarf friend.
- And she didn't have to bite the silver. She could take an arm or leg but that would hurt Cheery, so she goes for the chainmail which will only hurt her.
- Doubling as a Crowning Moment of Humanism, Philosophy, Morality and just about anything worthwhile, the moment when Dorfl realises he owns himself and is responsible for his actions. Not only is it marked by the pronoun change - from 'it' to 'he' referring to the golem - but it sums up free will in two simple, powerful sentences:
Not Thou Shalt Not. Say I Will Not.
- Vimes' first scene, dealing with an assassin in the utterly casual way that can only be the result of long practice.
- Angua letting herself be taken hostage by three unlicensed thieves, so she can teach them a lesson.
- An off-screen one. After the main events of the book Vimes called the conspirators who caused all this to the palace. It isn't explicitly said what kind of conversation took place but it certainly ended with an axe being buried in a table and the conspirators leaving with strong memories of Vimes' ancestor cutting the head off a king. Since it's in a room usually reserved for important meetings Vetinari decides to leave it there as a... conversation piece. (And indeed in later books, it's still there!)
- Vetinari figuring out exactly how he's being poisoned but letting it continue to a small extent so that Vimes will have to try to solve the crime in a very Vimes-like way, which is what Vetinari wants him to do.
Drumknott: I think if Vimes did not exist you would have had to invent him.Vetinari: I rather think I did.
- In an awesome demonstration of how formidable golems could be if they let themselves, Dorfl performs an Arrow Catch on a bolt which Nobby fires at him in a panic. Nobby was using Detritus's Piecemaker at the time.
- For the uninformed, the Piecemaker is a converted siege crossbow, designed to send a six-foot iron arrow through city walls.
- Carrot 'takes the case' despite Dorfl's false confession.
Carrot (to Dorfl): If you are things, then you can't murder. And if you're not things, then you're people, and what's being done to you is terrible.