Awesome / Beowulf (2007)

"BEOOOOOOOWUUUUUUULF!"

• The scap's bawdy ballad: "THE GREATEST OF OUR KINGS! HROTHGAR! HROTHGAR! HE BROKE THE DRAGON'S WINGS!"
• Hrothgar (who is completely soused and armoured in nothing but a bed-sheet toga) still standing up to Grendel after he's wrecked his mead hall and slaughtered his thanes and people.

King Hrothgar: Fight me! You fight me, damn you.

Grendel: ...Nay.

• "No fire! No stars by which to navigate! We're lost! Given to the sea!"

"THE SEA IS MY MOTHER! SHE'LL NEVER TAKE ME BACK TO HER MURKY WOMB!"

• "IT'S NO EARTHLY STORM THAT'S FOR SURE! BUT THIS DEMON'S TEMPEST WILL NOT HOLD US OUT! IF WE REALLY WANT IN!

Both Wiglaf and Beowulf: "EAAAAAAARRGGH!!!"

• "FOR BEOWULF!" Drum beat "FOR GOLD!!" Drum beat "FOR GLORY!!!" Lightning Strikes
• "I am Beowulf! And I am here to kill your monstah!"
• "WE SWAM FIVE DAYS! NECK AND NECK! I WAS CONSERVING MY STRENGTH, FOR THE FINAL STRETCH, WHEN THIS STORM BLEW UP! AND WITH IT - CAME - SEA MONSTERS! AGAIN! AND AGAIN! THE MONSTERS ATTACKED! DARK THINGS! FROM THE SEA'S DEPTHS! I! HACKED! AND SLASHED! AT THESE FOUL BEASTS WITH MY SWORD! SPILLING THEIR GUTS INTO THE SEA!"
  • And then, banging a mermaid for good measure.
• " Unferth, son of Ecglaf... I know who you are. They say you killed both your brothers when you witnessed them having knowledge of your mother. And I have another true thing to tell you, Unferth Kinslayer! If your strength and heart was as strong and fierce as your words, Grendel would not feel free to murder and gorge on your people without fear of retaliation! TONIGHT! WILL BE DIFFERENT! TONIGHT! HE WILL FIND GEATS WAITING FOR HIM! NOT! FRIGHTENED SHEEP! Like you."
• "The creature has no sword, no armor. And I have no weapon capable of slaying a monster. We shall fight as equals and... fate shall decide."
• Beowulf: "I am rip-ah! Tear-ah! Slash-ah! Gouge-ah! I am the teeth in the darkness! The talons in the night! Mine is STRENGTH! And LUST! And POWAH! I! AM! BEOWULF! " *BOOOOOM!*

Grendel: "AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHhhhhhh...!"

• Beowulf entering a flooded cave by himself to confront Grendel's mother, who is a water demon, as Wiglaf notes: "You don't want to meet her in her element."
• Wiglaf's repeatedly reluctant offer to enter the cave belongs here, too.
• Their Bromance is the beating heart of the film and leads to gems like:

Beowulf: This is not battle, Wiglaf. This is slaughter.

Wiglaf: ...The Frisians want to make themselves heroes, my lord. They want the bards to sing of their deeds.

Beowulf: It's going to be a short song.

Wiglaf: Well can you blame them? Your legend is known from the high seas and the snow barriers to the Great Island Kingdom - you are the Monster Slayer.

Beowulf: We men are the monsters now... The time of heroes is - dead, Wiglaf. The Christ God has killed it, leaving humankind with nothing but weeping martyrs, fear, and shame.

• The entirety of the scene with Finn of Frisia. So much pathos in a single scene should be a crime.

Beowulf: You want your name in The Song of Beowulf? You think it should end with me killed by some Frisian raider with no name?

Finn: I'm Finn...! Of Frisia! And my name shall be remembered forevah!

Beowulf: Only if you kill me! Otherwise... you're nothing! You think - you're the first to try to kill me? Or the hundredth? Hm? Well let me tell you something, Frisian. "THE GODS WILL NOT ALLOW MY DEATH BY YOUR FEEBLE BLADE! THE GODS WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO DIE BY A SWORD, OR BE TAKEN BY THE SEA! THE GODS WILL NOT LET ME PASS IN MY SLEEP, RIPE WITH AGE!" (rips shirt open) "PLANT YOUR AXE HERE, FINN OF FRISIA! TAKE MY LIFE!"

Finn "SOMEONE! Give him a sword or I'll - ! I'LL!"

Beowulf "YOU'LL WHAT?! KILL ME?! WELL KILL ME! DO IT! KILL ME! KILL ME!"

• "You know why you can't kill me, my friend? Because I died many, many years ago when I was young."
• "Give him a gold piece and send him home, he has a story to tell."
  • From the original script: fans of Vinland Saga take note.
  Frisian Leader: Take a sword and fight me like a man.
  King Beowulf: I don't need a sword. I don't need an axe. I need no weapon.
• Beowulf's greatest scene in the film is when he insists, that upon his death, that the truth of his story be told. A legend, a warrior and even a high king he had been for near all his life, only now, at the very end, does he admit to his mistakes and become a hero.

Queen Wealthow: Why not take that girl, and live out your remaining years in peace? Let some young hero save us.

King Beowulf: And let the nightmare begin anew? No. I visited this horror upon my kingdom. I must be the one to finish her.

Wealthow: "Her..." Was she so beautiful, Beowulf? A beauty so costly.

Beowulf: ...Beautiful. And full of fine promises... I was weak. I am sorry. So, so sorry. I have always loved you, my Queen.

Wealthow: And I you.

Beowulf: Keep a memory of me, not as a king or a hero; but as a man: fallible and flawed.

• "Great friend, There is something you should know..."
• "Nay! There is nothing I should know. You are Beowulf! Beowulf the mighty, the hero! The slayer and destroyer of demons! Now let us kill this flying devil where it sleeps and get on with our bloody lives!"
• The dragon ends up near-obliterating the chasm bridge with its fiery breath and Wiglaf has to spur his horse into slow-motion leaping across the gap.
• Wealthow saving Ursula from the dragon's fire breath and falling rubble.
  • Ursula later returns the favour when the bridge under Wealthow's feet is destroyed by the dragon.
    • Then Wiglaf is in time to save both of them by riding his horse up the exterior stairs of the castle turret.
• The massive Shadow of the Colossus-esque battle with Beowulf against his progeny, a golden dragon the length of a 747 aircraft. He slices open his son's throat while hanging by an anchor chain wrapped around his wrist (which he looted from a sunken longship during an ocean depths section of the battle), but flames rush up its gullet and scorch his hand. Then he cuts off his own arm at the armpit with his seax to get close enough to strike a mortal blow. But after losing his seax down its throat from swallowed rubble and watching his two women about to get eaten, the old king decides to stop playing around! HE SWINGS BACK AND FORTH ON THE STRIP OF FLESH AND CHAIN-MAIL WHICH IS ALL THAT STILL HOLDS HIM ALOFT FIVE HUNDRED FEET IN THE AIR, TO RIP OUT THE DRAGON'S HEART WITH HIS BARE, THIRD-DEGREE BURNED HAND!!! The badass scale officially blew up at this point, especially since he's supposed to be somewhere between fifty to seventy years old.
• Wiglaf just can't resist still being the best batman to his liege that ever served. When finding his king minus an arm, who is barely clinging to life, he has this to say.

Wiglaf: I told you we were too old to be heroes. Let's get you to a healer.

Beowulf: Not this time, old friend...

Wiglaf: You are Beowulf. A little thing like this isn't going to finish you off.

• "He was the bravest of us. He was the prince... of all warriors. His name... will live forever."
• "His song shall be sung forever. As long as the earth endures."