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Arson Murder And Jaywalking: Professional Wrestling
  • WrestleCrap's entry on TNA's Gooker Award-winning New Monday Night War:
    It all started out promising enough. The Carters had decided to go for broke and started bringing in big name talent. Hogan. Flair. Hardy. Van Dam. Knobbs.
  • Kane's speech about his past while in an anger management class on the August 27, 2012 edition of Raw. Hilarity Ensues.
    "I grew up locked in a basement, suffering severe psychological and emotional scarring when my brother set my parents on fire. From there, I shifted around among a series of mental institutions until I was grown, at which point I buried my brother alive ... twice. Since then, I've set a couple of people on fire and abducted various co-workers. Oh, and I, uh, once electrocuted a man's testicles. Years ago, I had a girlfriend named Katie but let's just say that didn't turn out too well. My real father is a guy named Paul Bearer, who I recently trapped in a meat locker. I've been married, divorced, broke up my ex-wife's wedding and tombstoned the priest. And, for reasons never quite explained, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose.note 
  • At CHIKARA Aniversario Blue, May 20, 2005, Knight Eye for the Pirate Guy (Lance Steel and Jolly Roger) defeated Larry Sweeney and ShareCropper in a match where, had Sweeney's team won, Allison Danger would have to be Sweeney's "slave" for 30 days, but, if Knight Eye won, Sweet 'n' Sour International would have to appear in diapers the following night. Knight Eye won when Sweeney was Hoisted by His Own Petard after accidentally hitting ShareCropper with a chain. Steel pinned ShareCropper for the win. The following night, Aniversario Orange, Sweeney walked out and said that ShareCropper wasn't there so he doesn't have to appear in a diaper. Leonard F. Chikarason threatened Sweeney with not being able to wrestle for CHIKARA again if he didn't live up to the stipulation in the contract. Sweeney stormed off and came back 10 minutes later with Sweet 'n' Sour International (Crossbones, Rorschach, Mano Metalico) and himself all wearing diapers. Sweeney complained how they were in this situation because they didn't listen to him, they hadn't gotten on the winning streak that he wanted and, Crossbones wouldn't put the dishes away. Sweeney fired all three guys, said he quits and that Sweet 'n' Sour International was no more, and left through the back door.

PinballArson, Murder, and JaywalkingRadio

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