In an episode of Bleep Bloop, the 'Phantom of the Office' pays a visit and lists his favorite games as follows "Let me see, hoop stick, drown the cat, drown the rat, hobble the goat, and frogger, frogger was hard!"
In the "The Problems with Jeggings Continues" sketch, Mr. S lists off innappropriate articles of clothing that will not be allowed in class, such as "NO cellophane hoodies, NO bra cardiagns, NO U-Neck T-shirts, NO Hollister CLOTHES!"
This Meme has the main character reading up the demands of the kidnapper, but the thing that bothers him the most is the spelling errors.
The Salvation War: The commander of the sub that nuked Tel Aviv finally wakes up in Hell and is informed of the charges against him: " Captain Alex Ben-Shoshan, commanding officer of the Israeli Navy Submarine Tekuma. You are charged with crimes against humanity, treason against the human race, one hundred and fifty three thousand, six hundred and twenty counts of murder in the first degree and failing to complete your navigation logs."
Zero Punctuation on Batman: Arkham Asylum: "I could go on about how the combat flows, and how the atmosphere is solid, and how the highlights for me were the Scarecrow sections where Batman's perceptions of reality askew in favor of a nightmareish and respectively delusional glimpse into the darkest pretenses of his soul, and how jumping on people is cool"
From a recap on Wet: "Which played like mixing every bad idea from the past ten years in a blender then drinking it from a puch fashioned from a hollowed out ballsack. Soundtrack was good, though."
From his review of Saints Row IV, complaining about Australian censorship of the game: "Wouldn't want people to mimic irresponsible behavior like shooting fire out of their bare hands, or leaping twelve stories into the air, or going into politics."
One possible XK-class end-of-the-world scenario from the SCP Foundation involves the proposed SCP-001 (the guardian to the Garden of Eden) moving, confluent with the breaching of the "Infinite Devil Machine" SCP-995, the opening of the hellish door SCP-616 and the activation of SCP-098... which is apparently a bunch of safe-ish crustaceans. It has been theorised, however, that the last one is a cover-up for something so horrifying that not even the usual deluge of [DATA EXPUNGED] and blacked-out text allows it to be safely mentioned.
SCP-048 is a number which was retired from the catalog and no longer assigned due to misfortunes befalling every item it was assigned to. It mentions that personel working with items assigned the number "have had a 50% higher rate of turnover due to death, dismemberment, and disciplinary action."
Songun Blog, which is a parody of North Korean propaganda practices claims America is "filled with unemployment, foreclosures, crime, drugs, prostitution, murder and jaywalking."
There exists a website called kids-in-mind.com which gives detailed ratings on any possibly objectionable material in films. Anything that could (ir)rationally be called offensive is listed. Take for instance, Law Abiding Citizen, a film that scored a 9/10 in violence thanks to people being dismembered, blown up, incinerated, poisoned, suffocated, raped, and stabbed. The icing on the violence cake? "Two men eat food using their fingers."
One of only four examples listed for Sex and Nudity was "A man and his wife kiss in several scenes." possibly not knowing that married couples do that sometimes.
In Open Blue, the Axifloan Coalition lists various crimes that various Pirate Lords and ladies are wanted for. While some have pretty serious lists throughout, others... not so much. From v4's Pirate Lord list: Pirate Lady Lucille Prideux's list ends with "Theft in general" while Captain Van Wijk's ends with "Blasphemy" (which is pretty light compared to his other crimes). The real cake takers, however, are Captain Garth, with "Unlicensed operation of a menagerie", and Captain Ingrid, with "Insulting Admiral Flota Vladimir Ilyavich Tokarev, HERO OF THE TRIBES".
The Angry Video Game Nerd spent 30 seconds solid insulting TMNT on the NES with some of the most vile profanities in the history of the English language, concluding with: "It fucking sucks, it sucking fucks, it fucking blows, it's a piece of shit... and I don't like it."
He did it again with Deadly Towers: "This game is a chicken-licking-finger-fucking son of a bitch! This game is ball-cider! The Assholians bow down to this piece of shit! In other words, the game sucks."
Protectors of the Plot Continuum: PPCers often start out the chargelist with things like grammar and spelling errors, move on to bigger charges like "disrupting the fabric of reality", and end with things like "having a stupid name", "pissing off PPC agents", etc. An example is Acacia's addendum in This Mission. Another had a character charged with rape, child abuse, and "having an annoyingly complicated house to navigate".
From part one of the Werewolf Prevention Guide, "You may remember me from such videos as Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse, Protecting you and your family from Vampires & Advanced Billiards Tutorial."
When the Cornette Face from Botchamania became an Ascended Meme, a short video was made describing it's purpose. It pulls this trope twice.
First debuting in Botchamania 84, the Cornette Face has been used to summarize the emotions brought on by insane booking decisions, complete disregard of basic wrestling principles, and late WCWKevin Nash matches. The bad wrestling featured alongside the Cornette Face is made to look worse than it already is, as it appears that the footage has shocked Cornette to the point where he cannot even move. He is powerless to move. He is powerless to rant. He is powerless to spit on Eric Bischoff's windshield.
It also dips into this in video 121. "Blind Ref?! Deaf Ref?! Stupid Ref?! Mullet Ref?! FUCK THIS COMPANY!"
Many people on Current Events say there is a special place in Hell for child molesters, murderers, and people who upload multi-part files to Rapidshare.
Dr. Horrible All the cash! All the fame! And social change!
Penny(after noticing Billy isn't listening to her) Our goal is to get these people off the streets and into job training so they can build rockets and go to the moon and become florists...
The Nostalgia Chick's review of top movie villains included captions listing the various characters' prosecutable crimes. Amid such offenses as "Treason", "Manslaughter", "Conspiracy to Genocide" and the like are occasional mentions of "Littering" (discarding a bone from dinner) or "Animal Cruelty" (squashing bugs).
Paul: Carl, I watched you fire a harpoon into the captain's face!
Carl: That sounds dangerous!
Paul: You were headbutting children off the side of the ship!
Carl: That, uh, that must have been horrifying to watch.
Paul: And then you started making out with the ice sculptures!
Carl: Thank God that the children weren't on board to see it!
With the fourth episode the openings themselves become an example. The first begins with Paul finding a dead human in their house, the second with Carl sinking a cruise-ship, the third with Carl overthrowing a South-American Goverment, and in the fourth... He drags mud all over the carpet. It Got Worse.
Sort of a reverse example, from another of his videos, "Ferrets", in which two ferrets are talking in a valley. The one on the left, Harold exclaims how sad he is, so the other one on the right insists that whenever he's feeling down, he sings about things that make him happy. He then breaks into song, and starts listing off happy things to make Harold happy. The first things he sings are okay, like "the feel of a dollar bill", but the song quickly gets dark, when he starts singing about "the fresh smell of blood", and "touching Harold inappropriately while he sleeps".
According to her Wikipedia page, after Boudica's husband died, his will was ignored. The kingdom was annexed as if conquered, Boudica was flogged and her daughters raped, and Roman financiers called in their loans.
On the Wikipedia page for sleep deprivation, there's an image that lists the effects, some of which are irritability, cognitive impairment, memory lapses or loss, impaired moral judgement, hallucinations, and severe yawning.
On the Wikipedia page for the SS: "Members of labor organizations and those perceived to be affiliated with groups (religious, political, social and otherwise) that opposed the regime...were rounded up in large numbers; these included clergy of all faiths, Jehovah's Witnesses, Freemasons, Communists, and Rotary Club members."
On the Wikipedia page for the Malleus Maleficarum: "The Malleus Maleficarum accuses witches of infanticide, cannibalism, casting evil spells to harm their enemies, and having the power to steal men’s penises". Granted, some (roughly half) of the population may feel that the last is the most horrific thing ever, but still.
From Wikipedia's article on Bert Is Evil:
"The website featured manipulated images of the puppet consorting with nefarious figures including Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, and Jerry Springer."
The video for The Bloodhound Gang's "The Bad Touch" inspired this bit on Wikipedia:
The video reached #11 on MuchMusic's 50 Most Controversial Videos for references to zoophilia, sexual lyrics, insulting French people, gay people and chefs.
Everything but the last one kind of works, but chefs...?
Also, in the article "7 Reasons the 21st Century Is Making You Miserable," the author illustrates the lack of substance in Internet criticism:
I've also been called "asshole" and "cockweasel" and "fuckcamel" and "cuntwaffle" and "shitglutton" and "porksword" and "wangbasket" and "shitwhistle" and "thundercunt" and "fartminge" and "shitflannel" and "knobgoblin" and "boring."
Also, this article about food myths mocks scaremongerers by saying: "Whoa! Holy shit! We love the way the writer crammed in every scary word they could think of: rape, war, cancer, emphysema, respiratory distress, anemia, constipation, irritability, blindness, Canada."
From 5 Inexplicably Creepy Episodes of Family Friendly TV Shows: "Although every show we've mentioned so far was supposed to be family-friendly, they all had something a little unsettling to begin with: Tiny Toons and Family Matters had child abandonment; The Fresh Prince had unseen gang violence; Pokemon was Japanese."
Holy frell, do they ever. From 6 Movies That Accidentally Recreate Real Mental Illnesses: "The specific details vary, but the basic plot of every werewolf movie involves a person undergoing a painfully gruesome transformation into a giant and/or vaguely humanoid wolf creature, either by the light of a full moon or whenever they goddamned feel like it. Once the transformation is complete, the werewolf will then supermurder everything in the immediate vicinity, rape a bunch of people to death or play air guitar and be really good at basketball."
According to 7 Modern Dictators Way Crazier Than You Thought Possible, "in a two-hour-long rambling speech at the U.N. that saw the walking out of several delegates and the spontaneous combustion of scores of others, Gaddafi expressed support for Somali pirates, called Barack Obama "my son" and claimed that Israel was responsible for JFK's assassination. At the end of the speech, Gaddafi also added that his people had jet lag."
Yes, Cracked certainly does enjoy this. "Here's the highlight reel of the game of whack-a-mole life has been playing with John Lyne's body: He very nearly drowned, has been involved in three car accidents, was hit with a live electrical cable, was struck by lightning — twice — and was plowed over by a city bus. And when he digs into jelly beans, he keeps finding black ones."
5 Absurd Movie and TV Premises That Actually Happened decided to switch things up, and put the jaywalking in the middle (insanity!): Nancy, of the show Weeds, is described as having a life increasingly full of "rich, handsome suitors (including the mayor of Tijuana, with whom she lived in a mansion), noisily slurped iced coffees, and an eventual rise to the upper echelon of drug smugglers".
Pretty much every kind of imaginable catastrophe can be found in this film. Earthquakes? Check. Volcanos? Check. Collapsing skyscrapers? Check. Uncontrolled fires? Check. Raining ash? Check. Plane crashes? Check. Capsized ocean liners? Check. Tsunamis? Check. John Cusack as an action hero? Check - say anything, but not that!
In the online game Monster Galaxy, you can go on a quest to retrieve some compromising photos. They show a man committing various felonies like robbery, but the last photo is one of him jaywalking near a "Don't Cross" sign.
Recent entries of the Madness series by Krinkels contain easter egg posters with things written on them for those willing to pause the animation and read. In Madness Aborgation, there's a poster that reads "WANTED: DEAD, "Deimos" Murdurer, Liar, Thief, Conspirator, Traitor, Smoker"
Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series Kaiba: "You can take over my company, you can kidnap my little brother, you can even try to kill me but when you F*ck with Video Games, you've gone too far."
In The Frenemy's advice on seduction she is recommending that girls lie to guys in bars, giving examples such as, "Hey, I'm a surgeon. With a heart of gold." "I'm a hooker who can fly!" and "I'm not going to get obsessed with you."
During a job interview which takes place in the middle, of all things, a space invaders review, we get 'our company does not discriminate based on race, gender, sexual orientation, enslavement to eldrich abominations, or against the living dead... Bald people need not apply.'
In Bowser's Kingdom episode 666, Jeff tries to warn Hal about the Zombies by describing what makes them dangerous. Hal is aloof to what Jeff is saying, but Jeff says they called Hal gay. Hal is indignant and the two set off on a zombie hunt.
Jeff: There's a bunch of dead guys walking around eating people.
Jeff: They're eating them alive!
Jeff: And then they turn into more of them!
Jeff: I heard them call you gay...
Hal: Ohhh, they gotta die!
Jeff: Yeah, let's go on a zombie hunt!
One account on the Something Awful forums was permanently banned for the following reasons: 6 bans, 20 probations, constant shitposting, spelling more "moar." (it helps to realize that permabans are generally given for severe or repeat offenses, as punishment for failing some sort of challenge, self-imposed or otherwise, or for being a previously permabanned member.
Phyllis Bennett of San Jose, CA, [...] considered 9/11 a notably less unpleasant topic than the Iraq War, the worldwide financial meltdown, Hurricane Katrina, the nation's debt burden, the deaths of 6,200 U.S. troops, China's rise into a global superpower, the housing market, relentless partisan bickering, millions of job losses, the war in Afghanistan, nuclear proliferation, unchecked climate change, declining household income, swine flu, or the 9/11 Truth movement.
In his review for Voyager's episode "Meld", Tuvok needed to simulate something in order to get himself angry. He points out that Tuvok had a wide variety of things that could choose from, including his family being killed, his wife being violated, his planet getting destroyed, or spending a few minutes with Neelix. He chooses the last one.
The third season finale of David Mitchell's Soapbox featured a run down on the topics covered over the season, ending with
And the of course, the big three - the subjects it would be a dereliction of my duty not to address on this platform: maintaining the stability of our planet's resources, the urgent need to convince the skeptics of our environmental peril, and the imperative never to go "woo" at a sandwich.
In Sonic For Hire episode "The Battle: Part 2", Mario wants to kill Sonic for ruining his business, let Luigi getting killed by a bus , and programing his DVR to record Bachelor Pad three different times. Tails did that last one.
From the Archive of Our Own Terms of Service Agreement:
You understand that using the Archive may expose you to material that is offensive, erroneous, sexually explicit, indecent, blasphemous, objectionable, or badly spelled.
On Homestar Runner, in his character video, Bubs says that he can "fix everything what needs fixing, like cars... T.V.s... marriages..."
The "The Virus" edition of Strong Bad Emails: Strong Bad's computer is so riddled with viruses that it warps reality around it. He runs the computer's anti-virus program to find a ridiculous number of viruses. This causes him to freak out. The computer BSOD's on him, with the message "Computer Over. Virus = Very Yes", to which he shouts, "That's not a good prize!" But when the monitor dissolves into a blue liquid and splashes onto the floor, he says, "...aaaand the compy just peed the carpet" in a unsurprised fashion that borders on monotone.
In the "myths & legends" e-mail, Strong-Badian fence etchings recorded Bear holding a shark's attribution to "burned crops, stolen babies and family bike rides."
There are quite a few of these examples in Jib Jab's year-in-review episodes, but they mostly have to go to "2011, Buh-Bye!" A few examples are:
We finally took out bin Laden. Japan had one hell of a year. (A year!) There were riots in Britain: "All rotten!" Harold Camping:The Rapture! 2012 "Seer": Not yet, but it's near. (Next year!)
"[...]The passage of ERA, she declared, would mean Government-funded abortions, homosexual schoolteachers, women "forced" into military combat, men refusing to support their wives, and unisex bathrooms."
Chip Cheezum: "...[T]o give you examples of what's in this show is: Murder, sex, attempted rape, lots of nude prostitutes, more murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, killing, murder, a man gets his neck shot so many times his head falls off, a man gets his head torn off by a subway car moving in the opposite direction, BROOKLYN ACCENTS!
"My wand can do anything! It can kill people, destroy cities, and make fashionable fur coats!"
In his "Top 11 Saddest Moments" video, when talking about Thomas J. Sennett's funeral from My Girl, he has this to say about Anna's situation at that point:
Critic: Not only is her only friend in the entire world dead, but she's the one that knocked down the beehive that caused him to get stung to death, it's because of her mood ring that Culkin went back, her dad is the undertaker of Culkin's body, the funeral is held at HER house and she finds out the teacher she had a crush on is getting married ON THE EXACT SAME DAY.
GNN's Lori Prince Live does an interview with the Mad Hatter and March Hare who are for the legalization of drugs. When stating they simple hold "harmless tea parties" anonymous insider 'Ms. A' issues the following statement: "What these two call harmess tea parties are nothing more than backyard, drug fueled, interspecies-orgies, where underage drinking and smoking go hand in hand amid psychedelic acid tripping and improper use of the condiment, mustard, all delivered in haze of smoke that would make Cheech And Chong pass out from overload"
Hatter promptly takes offense to this stating that it was not mustard, but lemon zest
The first VideoGameConfessions featuring Metal Gear's Solid Snake combines this with Crosses the Line Twice whilst uncovering the origins of Snake's box: the box he is, in fact, a 'security blanket,' that he has carried around since, at age 5, he hid it while witnessing the murder of his parents. After his parents were killed, the killer proceeded to tap dance on the corpses, use them perform The Muppet Show's "Pigs In Space" Rountine (with Snake's father playing Miss Piggy and his mother as one of the male pigs), disembowel them and play "Under the Sea" on their rib cages, before finally mixing then in a blender with his own urine as a drink. The final insult: stealing the change from Snake's piggy bank. Later on, however, Dominic discovered that Snake was, in fact a clone, and the box was alive.
In Kickassia, although it was never shown, the bloopers show the unused takesnote The used take was the first one. of Bennett the Sage's suggestions of what to do with the Nostalgia Critic:
Take 1: I say we castrate him with a fork, tie him to a cactus, then play piñata with his entrails. Take 2: I say we eviscerate him with a sawblade, and laugh at his misfortune and play in his blood. Take 3: I say we trick him into having sex with a transsexual prostitute and laugh at his misfortune. Take 4: I say we strap him to a work-to bench, pour honey on his genitals, then fire ants, and then watch as he dies as insects slowly bite away his flesh. Take 5: I say we get a vat of liquid nitrogen, put his hand in there, wait until it freezes over, then claw it out with a hammer. Take 6: I say we kill him.
Jew or Not Jew is a website that rates famous people based on how Jewish (or not Jewish) they are, with the highest possible score being fifteen and the lowest being zero. As of this edit, there are only three people with a score of zero: Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, and Mel Gibson.
Jon: You died in a fucking shallow pond, you piece of shit, you imbecile, you USELESS PIECE OF FUCKING—OATS!! Arin: Did you just— "oats"??? Jon: I fuckin' went there, dude, I'm really sorry. I know your family is multi-grain....
Lucky Day Forever: White society media seems to be comprised largely of pornography, sexually suggestive commercials, and bland pop T.V. shows.
Some Jerk With A Camera: No, look, just because your life is a lie doesn't mean you can't be happy. Just look at me! My whole life is a lie and I'm happy as a clam! I've never told anyone this but I am Nicole Simpson's real killer. Yeah. And I shot Tupac. And Biggie. And JFK. And JR Ewing. I escaped from Gitmo twice and I still have the tag to prove it. I- I– I- *pause* I am Jack the Ripper. And the Zodiac Killer. And Keyser Söze. And the undercover cop in Reservoir Dogs. Uh, I started the goddamn Chicago fire. I canceled Firefly! I'll confess to whatever you want just please for the love of god don't bring Urkelback from the dead.
During the Justice mini-arc in Vaguely Recalling JoJo, Enya threatens to break Jotaro's spine, tear apart his flesh, and slash off all of his hair.