Turnabout Substitution: When talking to Rhea Wits about her computer, her hobbies on it include creating scuba-diving simulators, hacking the pentagon's computer, and chatting with friends on the internet.
Apollo: Yeah right, like she knows how to chat on the internet!
ThisAxis Powers HetaliaKink Meme fill shows the nations' meeting expenses; they spent thousands and thousands of dollars on everything from strippers to long-distance phonecalls to tweezers, and then one dollar and fifty cents on gum.
Sherman: (translating hieroglyphics) Let me see here, curse... curse... another curse... insurance guarantee... ah, here we go.
And in the very first episodenote it's a Script Fic, Hobbes lists his Overly-Long Name as "The Ultimate and Most Powerful Predator on the Planet Earth, with Razor Sharp Teeth, Deadly Claws, and Urge to Kill Stuff, and Also Has Opposable Thumbs, and is Able to Stand Up On Two Legs".
Then there's "Thunderstorm", which has this:
Thunderstorm: Success! Now we have absolute threat! Excellent! The place can actually do some evil-like damage now! Every glitch is finally repaired! The gamma-rays are fully-loaded, the laser-cannons are set, the navicomp is functional, and the cappuccino machine has bendy straws! I'M IN THE GROOVE AGAIN!
And the three listed objects that "seemed remotely suspicious" are knives, razors, and English IV textbooks.
From "Camping Trip Part 2":
Mom: CALVIN, BE CAREFUL! Hobbes: YOU CAN DO IT! Dad: DON'T LOSE THE FISHING ROD!
During a flashback in "The Transmitter Conspiracy Part 1", we have Andy introducing himself to Socrates:
In a Naruto/Negima crossover fanfic, "Broken Faith" by Kur 0 Kishi has this as well in a side mission unrelated to the main plot.
"Sorry, calling it a missive is an understatement. He sent a clone that somehow traveled 500 miles from here to our Main Headquarters in under 3 hours over land and water, bypassed all official channels and communication protocols, slipped through our ward scheme like it wasn't there and evaded 130 individuals affiliated with our Association, including our entire Security Force. I found him drinking a bottle of 1978 Montrachet wine while chatting with my wife about the finer points of miso ramen in my own private quarters."
"He is wanted for the theft of the Water Elves' Pearl, an affair with a Minrothadi ambassador, wearing an Augrist high priest's hat when unqualified to do so, stealing the harem of a Thyatian Ambassador, mocking the Thyatian Emperor, wearing the Sacred Hat of Valerias inappropriately, misleading youth, mocking the gods, failing to pay for 8 sandwiches, and 3 moving violations. Among other crimes."
In the crossover fic National Security, America is mildly miffed at whoever decided he should go into hiding after he ends up with NealCaffrey on the grounds he could have been stuck with an actual bad guy like a murderer or a rapist or a non-taxpayer.
Ancient artifacts of immense power. Murderous synthetics. Ruthless megacorps. Unscrupulous mercenaries. Genocidal stellar god-machines. Incompetent galactic governments. Claptrap dubstep. The horrors of the galaxy are many....
"I materialised this box on the Security Deck of The Admiral Tholtrich. I landed this box on top of a Regulation Zebra prison ship, whilst it was in warp. This box got me a seat next to Brangelina at the Oscars."
In the D.Gray-man fic 69 Ways To Torture Idiot Apprentice, Cross is so thrilled that the author decided to write an M-rated story that he makes a list of things he'll do to use it to his utmost advantage. It reads: Drink like no tomorrow, gamble everything away, including Allen, smoke EVERYTHING possible, even pot if nothing else is around, get bitches, lay bitches, do expensive shit that Allen will pay for, kill all of his loved ones so he focuses only on me, and snore when I sleep."
In Forward, River catalogues her injuries after a prolonged pursuit, crash, walk across the desert, and gunfight.
Catalogue of injuries: hairline fracture in shin. Multiple fractured or broken ribs. Lacerations, bruising of back, vertebrae, possibly wrenched shoulder and back muscles. Bullet lodged in gut, precise location unknown. Head trauma, ninety-plus percent probability of concussion (postulate round ricocheting off boulder and bouncing off skull, or maybe shrapnel knocked loose by same) Bruised jaw. Sunburns.
In Niceties in a CrisisKurt is telling Will off for treating him unfairly. While speculating about why Will doesn't like him, he says: "I don't know if it's some kind of latent homophobia, or that you don't really know what to do with me, or if you just don't want someone in the club whose hair is better than yours."
From The Sacred And The Profane: "...Caphriel had a bizarre tendency to get upset over the slightest things, like murder and rape and duck torture." Mostly used to show that, no, Zirah really doesn't see much difference in the levels of those crimes; why do you ask?
Auror: Minister Fudge, you are under arrest for Abuse of Power, Corruption, Perjury, Enlisting Others to Make False Statements, Fraud, and Jaywalking.
In the Harry Potter fic Meet the Godparents, Harry was nervous about meeting Ron's Aunt Muriel at her cottage and tried to joke about it, telling Hermione "I've outflown a dragon, I've faced down hoards [sic] of Death Eaters, and I've snatched the last dessert away from Ron."
From Those Lacking Spines: "Organization XIII was not a nice group of sort-of-kind-of-former people. They toyed with minds, they twisted relationships, they used lives as tools, they manipulated innocents, they spread chaos, they captured hearts, they lengthened the lines at the DMV and they commanded Heartless."
In The Official Fanfiction University Of Middle-Earth: "Sauron would going to roast her for breakfast. He would make her grow long pointy nails. He would flunk her." (OK, the latter might be pretty bad for a fangirl, who'd have to leave Middle-Earth.)
Getting Back on Your Hooves has a similar example when Trixie brings up her List of Transgressions from "Boast Busters" (first wondering why Rarity fixed her mane rather than take revenge and second apologizing to Rainbow, both times ending with the fact she bragged about it.
Trixie: I called your mane a rat's nest, goaded you into a rigged contest, turned your hair into a disgusting green mess, humiliated you in front of the entire town, and then bragged about doing it! And before that I publicly humiliated two of your best friends!
Gonzap: Very smart, Wes. You've destroyed our main snag machine, and stolen the other one. You took our zoomer. And to boot, you used those explosives we had been planning to use as well to utterly destroy our base. AND half of my moustache has burnt off, and I don't have any eyebrows anymore. You'll pay for this.
In a Super Smash Bros. fanfic, Princess Peach has banned Smashing. Mario, Link, Bowser, and Pikachu are arrested for having a match. Bowser's charges are read something along the lines of "Participating in a Smash match, multiple attempts to abduct Princess Peach, and failure to appear for jury duty."
In Kyon: Big Damn Hero, Kyon mentions casually to Sasaki that he has to meet several past instances of people, fight 12 thugs at once, arrange to deliver an alien artifact and study for a math test. It scares the crap out of adult Mikuru, but Sasaki doesn't take it seriously.
During You Got HaruhiRolled!'s court case arc, Haruhi is on trial. When listing her charges, the prosecutor plays with this trope: Haruhi is accused of thievery (the most serious on the list, but mentioned first), being stupid and an asshole, as well as pushing a random passerby. This last one is treated as severe as the others, because Haruhi is unfortunate enough to be in a Kangaroo Court.
Vivienne: All right, this is the last straw. It's raining, we almost got killed by Onis, there's nowhere to sleep, we can't find the key anywhere, and Puck won't stop complaining about his itchy butt.
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