Accidental Innuendo: Fanfiction

  • In The Adventures Of Yeloh Kaiba Bakura calls Dark Necrofear "Dark Necrophilia".
  • In the Naruto Peggy Sue fanfic "Again", Haku is described as being an innuendo magnet since any conversation or situation that Haku is part of almost invariably sounds innuendo-filled to everyone else, and it appears to be contagious...
  • In Bramblepool, a Literature/Warriorcats fic, Brambleclaw fights his romantic rival:
    He fantasised while Crowfeather struggled beneath his paws.
  • Brewdening Love : You don't want to know. There's a lot of it, though.
    • In Stay By Me Hugo tells Brian to hide in the bedroom when Joan comes home.
  • Clop It: After Celestia has given the group 'Royal Re-Sexualization Gadgets' we get this simply marvelous exchange.
    Twilight: So why did you give me one?
    Celestia': Twilight, your friends are all fags. It’s only a matter of time until they try to turn you too, and you’ll need something to defend yourself.
    Twilight: So what should I do... use it to try to beat them off? Of me?
  • Curse Of The Demon Pony: Early on Twilight remarks that she set up a few booby traps in her room to keep her brother out of her "bits". This sounds really creepy, even if you're aware of the fact that "bits" means "money" in the show.
  • Dave Stdider Pokemon Traner: Chapter 13's title, "STEAMY SEX! WITH GOSTBUSTERS!" is an example of this. Yes, this chapter has a sex scene. No, the Ghostbusters are NOT INVOLVED WITH IT. They're just in the chapter. That's what the "WITH GOSTBUSTERS" means. They are not being sexed up in this chapter.
  • Days Of Autumn: Several, including...
    Minako's Aunt: "Shut your fucking face! I'll blow you! And then I'll blow you!"
    Junpei Iori: "Blow me? What the hell? Hump me, that's all right, just don't blow me."
  • Differing Paths: "Tomo literally felt her mind being blown."
  • Fallout: Equestria - Project Horizons:
    Blackjack: Glory! Flash 'em!
  • A lot in The Fools Tournament. Though, there hasn't been much in recent chapters.
    • More incidental than anything.
    • This scene from chapter 95:
    Minato:"Swallow, Hamuko."
    Hamuko:"I always do!"
  • In Fishsticks, Feferi tells Eridan that she both loves and hates him. Feferi is referring to their dysfunctional relationship, but Eridan thinks she's quadrant flipping.
  • Game Theory: Yuuno fiddled with his Device in both hands, and sighed. ... It felt wrong in his hands. Eek!
  • The author of Hidden Prophices didn't know what the word rape meant until after she used it.
  • Higher Learning: Shinji and Asuka are practicing for a concert. Misato talks Ritsuko about it, telling that “They are at it every night”.
  • Imma Wiserd:
    • when i wuz alssep i saw da man wit da blak cape and da blak coat. dere was a snake coimg out of da front a himself.
    • da loins were cummin towards me.
      • The Quidditch match also contains gratuitous amounts of this.
    "NOT B4 I PUT A BAL IN UR HOL" sed a slithrin.
  • The author of It's a Small World After All honestly didn't notice how talking about Japan's "sword" sounded wrong. Granted, China did just break Japan's stick-sized katana.
  • ITSMYLIFE: She keeps saying "wank". It does not mean what she thinks it means.
    • As well as "companion boob".
    • As well as everything involving the Scout's "ballsack" in Teen Fortress 2.
    • As well as "CHAPTER SEX". Rule 34 can apply even to chapter titles.
  • In Knowledge is Power, Sirius sees how happy Remus is in his new relationship and decides he wants to get back into the dating scene himself:
    Sirius was just going to have to do a Moony, he needed to get up off his arse and go for it.
    • That line is far funnier than any of the intentional jokes in the fic.
  • Kyon Big Damn Hero has Kyon's sister after discovering Kanae being in Kyon's bed with him at early hours of a Sunday:
    Kyon's sister: (excitedly) What's going on? More undercover work?
  • The Last War, another So Bad, It's Good possible Troll Fic from the Harry Potter fandom, has Hermione's love for Harry described as being like golden water.
  • From Moon Daughter, quite a few involving a misspelling of "horse":
    "Some wild hores ran over the hill."
    "It ran away and I chased it faster, it was a thrill chase, that hore would be mine!"
    "Do you notice something weird about these hores," Said Albaster suspiciously.
    "This is a secret hore of Artemis" I diclared.
  • Whether it's actually accidental depends on whether My Immortal actually is a parody or not, but regular words are occasionally "accidentally" spelled wrong and turned into obscenities, e.g. "Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge" becomes "Mystery of Magic Cornelia Fuck", "Professor Slughorn" becoming "Professor Slutborn", etc.
  • My Little Unicorn:
    • Lightning's main weapon is the Rainbow Rod, a long stick with a ball, which shoots rainbows and has to be held tightly between his hooves.
      • Even better: After using it, Lightning is usually exhausted and it takes a certain amount of time to recharge.
    • One-shot character Cerise uses the Magenta Lance.
  • Hayate to Nelly in Nerima Magistra Nelly Magi: "You can ride my Stallion any time."
  • Observe. Evidently this ficcer hasn't heard of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
  • Pet Project: Hermione's line about Potions not being the only thing Snape will teach her next year...
  • The Phrase That Pais: "cum 2 the dock outside ur haus an therell be a boat, get on the boat and itll take u 2 playah del loser k?"
    • "Cum" is often used to replace "come."
  • Applejack and Rainbow Dash's match in the Atlas Strongest Tournament is full of this. Strangely, no one In-Universe comments on it.
  • The Powers Of Harmony: Turns out, Pupa can feed on the active energy of the Elements of Harmony. When she comments on this to Applejack, AJ asks her to stop, as it's kind of creepy. Pupa's response?
    Pupa: Not my fault. If somepony was blasting you in the face with the tastiest thing you can imagine, would you not open your mouth?
  • In The Prayer Warriors, there are several cases of this, often due to Rouge Angles of Satin.
    • "Breasts" are often used unintentionally, in many different contexts. In The Evil Gods Part 1, the author talks about corpses being eaten by "foul breasts" (beasts). In Threat of Satanic Commonism, the heroes meet with the "head breast" (priest) of Moscow, and in The Titans Strike Back, Draco and his mob kill some "false breasts" who try to stop him from killing the British royal family.
    • In The Evil Gods Part 2, our heroes go to "Washing Dick", and get some "boobs" from witches.
    • In The Titans Strike Back, we hear it's a co-story with Attack of the Spank (Sphinx).
  • The summary of the Harry Potter fic Rushing by maxfaith reads thusly: "The night before Ginny leaves for her last year at Hogwarts, Harry learns that happiness is no longer beyond his reach, but held tightly in his hand." It's Ginny's hand, not his penis.
  • RWBY Reckoning: Darrel's explanation when he's caught sneaking out of the medical wing is that he wants to "go and sleep with RWBY".
  • Sillyhat Productions: How would you like to chess my game?
  • The So Bad, It's Good Redwall fanfic Soulless Shell is loaded with this. Perhaps worst is the bit where Leif attacks a rapist with the words "Now feel the pain that so many innocent young girls like her have felt but with oh so much more intensity". Disregarding his impressive lung capacity, what the hell is he doing with those magical knives?
    • Then again, see the Literature folder for why that's about the only part of the fanfic that's reasonably authentic.Also see the MST:
    Romsca: (shuddering) I've 'ad just about enough o' this. Does this author even know wot 'e's sayin?
    Lyulf: Lessee wot we got so far... 'e seemed like a paedophile, 'e's already in bed wid 'is mum, 'e did unspeakable things ter Arnold, Rajh is his secret gay lover...
    Ara: ...and now he's necrophilic towards his dad. Lovely. I don't think even Freud could have thought that one up.
  • Teal'c and Agatha talking about staffs in Sparkgate Agatha And The Grasp Of The Serpent God.
  • In Star Kits Prophecy, after it is remarked that it is StarGleam's second time out hunting, we get this gem: "she'd had her first time when she was a littlekit and she and FireStar had snuck out together that's why he chose her as his apprentice_." Squick.
    • "Wll u be my mat" [GayStrip] ESked.
  • Team8:
    Naruto: Hinata, could you use your eyes to check me out?
  • Tokyo Mew Mew No Hope Left: "And then, KISSHU CAME!"
  • In a rare BB x Misa fic, Until I Met You, when Misa is hugging BB.
    Beyond: Don't poke it!
  • Urf Bowd My Verson: "It was den that I know that my destiny was cumming."
  • Woof Woof Power:
    • Ryou "gave itachi a hug and they slept together"
    • Ciel telling Tony "i am hard for you"
    • Ciel said "I hate getting action with you tony!"
    • "Tony is not inside me!" said shouted Ciel
    • ciel said "whatever tony its not like your hard"
    • Mew bagette looked at tony ciel and said "oh ciel you are so small! Tony is much bigger than you!"
  • One fanfic featured the unfortunately-phrased simile "more nervous than a bagful of jackdaws in a cathouse". One really, really hopes that the author actually meant "cattery".
  • In the Pokémon fanfic Pokemon Take Two, after Alex asks Ry and Raion if he can join them on their journey, we get this little gem from Ry (after he hug-tackles Alex):
Ry: That'd be AWESOME! Just think of all the fun things we could do!
  • The title of Episode 67 of Sonic X: Dark Chaos is "The Fudge-Covered Trap." Considering the chapter features male-on-male child rape, well...