AATAFOVS / Idol Hands
Season 2, Episode 8. Preceded by Down The Series Of Tubes
, followed by Omen From The Future
The Vamp Benders tumble haphazardly out of the Story Gate and take stock of their surroundings. Before they can assess the situation, however, a snarky, unpleasant voice asks, "Well?"
The Veebees look around, confused. "Over here," the voice sighs.
The voice belongs to a dark-haired man in a black shirt, sitting behind a
desk with a black man and a woman.
Black-Shirted Man: Well?
Avatar: ...Well what?
Black-Shirted Man: Well, what's your act?
Black-Shirted Man: Yes, act. You're auditioning, are you not?
Solo: Er... for what?"
Black-Shirted Man: For American Idle, numbnuts. Are you lot always this dumb, or are you making a special effort?
Cleo: Oh! I've heard of this one. Pathetic sadsacks who think they can sing get their hearts ripped out and stomped on by...
Black-Shirted Man: Slimy Cow. Yes. Me. Now are you going to sing, or what?
Before any of the Veebees can respond, Slimy Cow sighs.
Slimy Cow: Oh, forget it. You're obviously a pack of morons. At this rate, the only one who will get through is the mysterious bloke.
Avatar: Er... mysterious bloke?
Slimy Cow: Pieguy Two Five Something. Raving nutter, but a decent voice.
Solo: Why would Pieguy Two Five Nine enter American Idle?
Cow: Same reason as you, I suspect. To win the Can Tabile.
Avatar: Can Tabile?
Cleo: The trophy for American Idle. Honestly, don't you ever watch it? It's a tin can, spray-painted gold, with "CHAMPION" on it. Nobody knows what's in it, and it goes back to the show after each season.
The Vamp Benders all look at Cleo, stunned. Frantically, Avatar whispers to the rest of the group and they all launch into a stunning a cappella
rendition of their own theme song
. Impressed, the judges let them through into the next round.
The VBs battle through the next round of competition. However, one by one,
the other contestants are being mysteriously transformed into amorphous masses of mashed potato. To nobody's surprise, it turns out to be Pieguy Two Five Nine who's behind it, using his "Taterfier" ray gun
to turn everyone into spuds. Rather than being disqualified, however, he's simply given a slap on the wrist (literally) as all the other contestants were So Bad, It's Horrible
Eventually, they are down to the Grand Final- the Vamp Benders versus Pieguy Two Five Nine. They engage in a pitched rap battle, then a karaoke contest, then, mysteriously, a cooking battle. Finally, America votes... and Jim Zmelik
, a previously unknown character, wins. Furious, Pieguy Two Five Nine grabs the Can Tabile anyway and wrenches it open in front of the horrified Vamp Benders... and joke springy snakes fly out into his face. He utters a long string of swear words in a variety of real and invented languages and vanishes in a puff of smoke, leaving the Vamp Benders to edge quietly through the Story Gate.