- Written By: ThomasPOVChapter Number: 5
Jesus praises the author for using Danish well in the chapter, promising him eternal live in "even," and Thomas says "Language Tak Meget." Thomas then adds that he will only stop writing this story when he succeeds in converting Christians, and Jesus tells him that he's the best writer since William Shakespeare, a monumental display of arrogance on the author's part.
Annabeth, Jerry and Michael prepare to go through the portal. Jerry declares that he will defeat anyone he encounters on the other side, as he's confident that since he killed the Greek Gods, he won't lose to the Communists, and will be able to end the threat to the Christian system of capitalism.
Michael agrees, confident that Percy is doing well on his end. He thanks Jerry for the wisdom and strength needed to knock Dumbledore off a wall and behead Harry Potter, both somewhat egregious Retcons.
Jerry thanks Michael, and they decide to go out and fight against Communism. Since the two have very similar (nonexistent) personalities, things get fairly boring when they interact, perhaps more so than usual. With a prayer by Annabth, the Prayer Warriors walk through the portal.
On the other side, they encounter a warrior woman under attack, and Jerry kills all but one of her assailants, leaving the last one alive, but without his eyes, feet or arms, so that he can suffer for the rest of his life and possibly repent. Victorious, they decide to sacrifice a lamb and read the Bible for an hour, with God recommending the Book of Judges so they can learn how to defeat the enemy(Does He really give his followers reading recommendations? I assume He believes it's the responsibility of His believers to stay informed about their religion and do so at their own pace).
The woman they saved turns out to be Clarisse, and she is said to have survived the attack in the second prologue despite the narration saying that she had died. IHeartThomasBrown is not amused, and points out that death is final, and "It's also the reason I can't talk to my grandfather anymore."
Clarisse claims to have been a good person who lived an honest life, which is wrong on so many levels- canonically, she's a bully, and in this fic, she used to be a Satanist (making her evil by the Prayer Warriors' standards) before converting and joining a group of murderous zealots (making her evil by everyone else's). The narration, however, has forgotten that, along with the fact that she's already a Prayer Warrior, and she asks to be baptized, since there's no one to do that for her in "what is left of the Christian empire of Russia."
Clarisse is baptized and renamed "Clarisse of Christ," and prays along with Melissa, a heretofore unmentioned survivor of the battle. They plan the battle against the Soviet Union, and Clarisse echoes Rachel's pledge of submission to the males. They then go off to meet up with Percy's group, which, by now, is far ahead of them.
Next Installment: Percy's group meets up with the local resistance.
