Blackjack is basically screwed as more and more campers arrive to kill her. First novices with crappy weapons, then professionals. She, Bittlecap, Bonesaw, and P-21 disguise themselves as caravan traders and enlist the aid of a brahmin with both heads able to talk. Everyone starts making fun of her diminutive horn. You heard me! P-21 is making fun of Blackjack!
>I glanced over at P-21’s male symbol and twenty-one dots before he covered them up with his saddlebags. What would his cutie mark have been? A book? A candle? A stubborn jackass?
A stallion murdering a mare? Blackjack getting shot? A penis attacked to a pony?
Blackjack then has a conversation about Deus and it's revealed that he's on par with Steel Rangers. They finally arrive at Pony Joe's again and Morning Glory cleaned everything up. Spotless clean. Blackjack decides to wash off the rest of her disguise with irradiated water.
>I left the bathroom decidedly cleaner, went to the duffel, and sucked down a pack of RadAway, enjoying the tangy orange flavor.
What!? Somber, they're supposed to taste bad. Murky Number Seven and a few moments in the original established that fact. A person named Seraphim had warned me you'd change things. Looks like he or she wasn't kidding.
Speaking of changing thing, I thought raiders were gangs. Morning Glory finds out that Raider Brains have tiny holes strewn about in the impulse control of their brains. The group think it's some sort of biological virus or disease and not, you know, DECAY DUE TO YEARS OF DRUG USE. I'm p sure Brimstone Blitz doesn't have a holebrain.
The trio cleanup a room for themselves to sleep in and Blackjack decides to look at the first memory orb she gained, being Genre Savvy about everyone coming to rape her with their weapons.
>"I really don’t think it’d fit. That bore has to be a hundred and twenty two millimeters and that’s almost the width of a mare giving birth so figuring in the thickness of the barrel..."
Damnit, Morning Glory. Lrn2metaphor.
>"Next you should teach her about innuendo."
P-21, don't encourage this. I have a feeling she'll be as good as that as Littlepip is good at spells other than telekinesis or Blackjack is not killing people.
So Blackjack enters the memory orb and immediately gets made into goopy swiss cheese by a couple hundred people after her contract. By that, I mean Big Macintosh and Maripony discussing the war.
Wait, what? I thought Maripony was the facility that Trixie became The Goddess in. Big Mac is dating Trixie...? What? I'm confused. Did Somber completely misinterpret what Maripony was supposed to be or something? WHAT IS EVEN.
Whatever. Let's just move on.
Blackjack comes out of the memory orb and learns of Big Mac's role in the war including his death. The next day, the trio takes stock of the situation. Security's PipBuck reveals they're on Hill 255. Because any higher, and there'd be a buffer overflow. Oh, look! Here's one now! The hill splits apart to reveal a large tank. It's a shame that none of the trio know how to fix it. I'd love to see Blackjack yelling for P-21 and Morning Glory to drive closer because she wants to kill the bounty hunters after her with a sword.
Blackjack turns on the radio to catch DJ PON3 encouraging people not to go after Security and that Tenpony count the bounty as raider activity. Half-Security starts appreciating Homage's help, but is interrupted by some people shooting at the Crusaders for eating their brahmin. She swiftly convinces them to leave. We're reminded that the Crusaders are children as they bicker amonst themselves and then yell at Blackjack for wearing their seal on her armor and being too old to be a Crusader.
No, go ahead. I'll allow you to d'awww.
Done yet? OKAY.
The Crusaders tell their side of the story which includes dragons picking the brahmin off. B;ackjack immediately wants to go dragon hunting. FUS RO-DA!
>If these dragons turned out to be sentient and starving with a pitiful sob story… well, then I’d want to die.
Damnit, Blackjack.
Anyways, they enter another fight scene
. They pick off two baby dragons before the big ones show up.
>“Okay, Mr. I-don’t-trust-myself-with-guns. What are you doing with mines?”
It turns out P-21 is okay with explosives. Somehow, the marehate doesn't cause him to throw any grenades at her or toss her onto a mine or something. They finish off all but one dragon... which is a gigantic one.
>“Aww... fuck me...”
...With Celestia's front hooves? No? Well, that's another way Jack's different than Littlepip.
To kill the dragon, Blackjack thinks about it and wants to break the roof down to smash the dragon. P-21 agrees, but says he needs time to set up the explosives. He gets to it after injecting himself with Med-X as the two distract the dragon. With luck, the two will kill the dragon off before P-21 is finished because it's funnier that way.
Sadly, it's not meant to be. The caving roof didn't even kill the dragon. Security decides to be awesome by blowing up the dragon's eye with a grenade and shooting nearly every single toxic ammo round directly into it's brain. Blackjack then looks up at the people that were watching.
>“Now who wants to try and collect on that bounty?”
Please tell me DJ PON3 will report on that soon. Because that was awesome. Blackjack gets congratulated and takes one of the Crusader's sunglasses. Like a bawss. The chapter should've ended right there. Anyway, Blackjack turns the radio on again to... someone who hates her guts giving out a speech and doubling Deus's bounty on her. This causes Blackjack to nearly have an angstgasm, but P-21 yells at her and reassures her. By reassurement, I mean they argue with each other.
>“Just kiss her already!” Medley shouted.
Yep, they definitely need a round or two.
Later on, Blackjack suffers a nightmare before waking up. She finds Glory ruminating on the mental issues of all three in the trio into a recording device. She asks Glory if they're friends, to which she says yes. Then a group of five ponies come to collect Blackjack's bounties. Security completely curbstomps them. She kills one, immediately calls for Morning Glory and the dead mare gets revived. That scares off the wannabe bounty hunters.
The chapter ends with both Glory and P-21 berating Half-Stupid for her, well, stupidity.
