How Could This Happen to Me? Rika Liveblogs vs. Cyborg Davis!

arcadiarika
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Part 1: A Stranger I Remain

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This liveblog was first written on August 25th, 2013, on my Tumblr. Now, I've decided to transfer it to here. This takes place between "Power Rangers: Revolution" and "The End of Ends" liveblogs.

Fair warning, no celebrities or fanfic writers were harmed in the making of the liveblog. Also, it includes death, OOC, darkness, unsavory stuff, and "Metal Gear Solid" references up the wazoo. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.

And as a final warning, most of the fanfic has since been deleted, so that's why there aren't any links this go-around.


(Rika slowly starts to wake up, a throbbing headache occuring. She groans, seeing that it's an absolute wasteland around her.)

Rika: Wha...where am I? And what just...ow, fuck.

(She then finds three more people scattered there, also unconscious: Ayumi, Michael, and Tori! She crawls over to them)

...hey. (nudges Tori) W-wake up...

(Tori slowly wakes up, and she coughs)

Tori: Rika?! What are you doing here?

Rika: It's not like I even have a choice in the matter. I don't know what exactly happened, but...

(Michael and Ayumi then wake up as well)

Ayumi: Oh, my God! W...what is all this?

Michael: ...

Seems like we've wandered into a shithole.

Rika: ...ehhhh?

Michael: Just...look at it. Whoever sent us here, they clearly want us dead. Why, I don't even know.

Rika: Pfft. I've survived worse.

Tori: I still consider "getting controlled by a monster" hell.

Ayumi: ...

(she thinks)

Just how are we going to get out?

Michael: I don't know, myself...but one thing's for sure. Whoever did this, they will pay.

(he takes out his ninja-to)

Rika: ...

(she takes out her MP3)

Heh! Imagine that...I still have my backlog of liveblogs I still want to do!

Michael: Liveblogs?

Rika: Yep!

Tori: Rika...is it going to be a bad one?

Rika: Eeyup.

(Upon hearing that, Tori sighs, Ayumi is confused, and Michael just facepalms)

Ayumi: What do you usually liveblog?

Rika: Some bad fanfics, some ripoffs, and some things I actually kinda like.

Incidentally, the one I have here...falls into the first category. In a big way.

Michael: We'll also need to find some shelter. I mean...

Rika: Yeah, a good idea.

In the meantime, I suppose I'll share you guys a story of sorrow. A story of love, the meaning, and whether or not—

Tori: (looking at Rika's MP3) It's "Cyborg Davis".

(Rika looks at Tori, and she shrugs)

Rika: Yep. It's another fanfic written by Dakari-King Mykan, and this time, we're focusing on one of the more...unique aspects of it. Namely, he punishes characters in ships he supports. Trust me, it's just as stupid and sickening as it sounds.

So, from the batshit insane mind that brought you so many liveblogs comes..."Cyborg Davis". Just how bad can it be?

Ayumi: ...how can you punish a character?

Tori: I just find it scary.

Michael: ...I presume it would be very bad.

(the group starts to head off, and Rika opens her file)

Chapter 1: Drunken Depressed Davis

Rika: The story begins with TK and Kari, a couple of the Digi-Destined, getting married. By the way, a little backstory. Mykan here ships Davis (or Daisuke for the Japanese-language version fans) and Kari (Hikari). He was in a shipping war with the Takari shippers, where Kari's shipped with TK (Takeru). Eventually, he wants peace, but he still declares that his ship's superior.

Tori: Isn't that hypocritical?

Ayumi: And dumb.

Rika: It is.

Anyway, Davis isn't showing up at the wedding, causing Kari to say this.

"I really wish he was here." Kari said. "He'd really be jealous of this."

Yep. You just witnessed the first of many, many scenes of characters getting derailed. For, you see, Mykan seems to derail female characters into becoming snotty bitches, or damsels in distress, or whatever's sickeningly sexist.

You thought Power Rangers Samurai and The Prayer Warriors were sexist? Think again. For they now have a new rival.

(Tori and Ayumi shudder, and Michael is not happy about what's going on...)

Yolei calls Kari out, and the latter blames it on excitement. Still, Yolei and her husband, Ken, can't help but think where Davis is. Granted, he's still upset about not being with Kari, but at the same time, he's busy. How busy?

In the course of...a short time, he was able to turn his noodle cart into a fucking franchise of sorts. No, really.

Tai assures them that everything would be okay, but Kari? Is not so sure. By the way? Yes, all the Digi-Destined are grown up.

Tori: Mind if I join?

Rika: Sure!

Tori: In a tavern, we see our hero, Davis, downing his fifth shot. Yeah, considering everything that's going on, I wouldn't mind downing a few, myself.

Ayumi: ...eh?

Tori: I'm 28, Ayumi.

Ayumi: I was about to say, you don't even look it...

Tori: Eh. Veemon asks Davis if he's okay. The answer?

"I don't think so." he said sadly. "And before you start... it's not Kari I'm upset about, nor TK. It's me!"

Rika: "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEE~"

Tori: What's up with the random singing?

Rika: There's another thing to mention. This isn't your typical punishment fic. It features Davis, our hero, being emo as all hell. And it doesn't ever change.

Ayumi: How can that even happen?

Rika: I'll explain later.

Tori: Davis can't shake the memory of Kari away, even when he tries therapy, even when he tries dating other women. I'm starting to think this guy's a bit...

Ayumi: Stalkerish?

Tori: No, that's not the right word. I'd almost say...

Michael: Obsessive.

Tori: Yeah, that's right!

Davis now feels like he has nothing, and even Kari hasn't given him a chance. Uh...dude, really?

(Tori glances at Rika to finish the installment)

Rika: Then Davis sees a beautiful, sober woman who recognizes him. Unfortunately for the poor lass, since this is Dakari-King Mykan's world where logic goes to die, he tells her to get the hell away from him.

Aaaaaaaand he pukes. Joy. This, by the by, gets him thrown out. He stumbles a bit until Veemon feels the ground shaking. It's revealed that there's a driver who can't see Davis.

It ends just as well as you expect.

Also...

"The car had hit Davis so hard that the engine blew up."

Fucking what? How can that even happen?

The chapter ends with both Davis and the driver unconscious...yeah. Veemon cries for his fallen friend, only for no response.

We get the obligatory Author's Notes, with Mykan apologizing for the excessive emo, but he did state that it will be there from the start. To me, that is not a good excuse. And he can't believe he had to pair TK and Kari up, since he hates him sooooooo much.

(the group finally heads to a cliff of sorts...and in the distance is a city, with sirens blaring in the distance. To Michael's horror and the girls' shock...)

Ayumi: "Welcome to Mariner Bay, 2073 A.D."

Rika: Oh, shit.

What is going on with the team? What's the reason for them entering the future? And can Rika muster up the courage to survive the fanfic?

Emergency Signal! Find out next time on Rika Liveblogs vs. Cyborg Davis!!

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