G'day chaps! The name's Luigilewis889, or Lewis for short, and I'm a general internet guy, contributing a bit here, a little over there, and a touch in row 47. One thing I'm really good at, or am at least I'm told I am, is mocking things and general riffing. So I've decided to take one of my long-standing nemesis's when it comes to fan-fics, and take it apart bit by bit to expose it for the god-damned awful mess it is.
We'll start with the meta. You won't find this fan-fic on FanFiction.Net
or any such site. No, you'll find it on lulu.com, a site for... Wait for it... Self-publishing. Yep, this fan-fic is published
. Available for free in PDF format, or... off the top of my head, $12.99 for a hard-cover, 51-page, copyright-infringing, mess of a fan-fic. I may be a massive fan of fan-works, but that's ridiculous, even for a really well written 51 page fan-fic.
The formatting of the story itself is ridiculous too. It's a wall of text, with no paragraph spacing for any
reason, not even a new speaker, and the story switches font and size after the prologue. The cover is a probably-Google-imaged Minecraft
dirt block on a black background, and the whole thing is not kind on the eye.
As for the fic itself... Well, let's just get on with it. It's time to read Minecraft: My Story. My Life.