Heading Back to the Nostalgia Well: Rika Liveblogs Pooh's Adventures of The Princess and the Togepi!

arcadiarika
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Epic 1: Sudden Shock! An Old Nemesis

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This will be written in script format, based on the crossover types of liveblogs. Also, yes, I am aware that Psyga315 did a liveblog of his own, and I recommend checking it out. Please do enjoy.


Rika: Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

...yeah, as you can see, I have a huge-ass problem with Writer's Block. But with Naruto Veangance Revelaitons completely going against the spirit of my philosophy (that being "love one another", and that sure as hell doesn't work when I wanted the protagonists to die in a fire) and Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers being so dull...yeah.

That much being said, I like crossovers, and it's no surprise that the story that I'm going to do features one. Unfortunately, it's a Pooh's Adventures series.

For those who are wondering what the hell they are or you're new to the series: the Pooh's Adventures series are about Pooh and his friends "meeting" the subjects of their crossovers. And I say the term very loosely, because 99% of the time, those crossovers...are just having Pooh and his friends become Pinball Protagonists. And there are various other errors involved, from the subtitles to, sometimes, the editing.

Also, with this series, it's inevitable that it would gain various spin-offs, in the form of either "(Crossover Character X) Meets (Subject Y)" or "(Crossover Character A)'s Adventures of (blah blah blah)". Some of the spin-offs include Ash's Adventures, Littlefoot's Adventures (why Littlefoot would still be alive to "witness" the crossovers is beyond me, but then again, if he survived to cross over into the Rugrats universe, he can do anything), and Twilight Sparkle's Adventures.

To recap, so far, Psyga315 has done numerous liveblogs of the series and some of its spin-offs. Joined later was Snickerdoodle Hamster, who did the same. As for me?

Last year, I did a liveblog of Pooh's Adventures of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, actually calling it both "the weirdest crossover this side of Trakeena's Revenge (a crossover that's So Bad, It's Good at its best)" and "worse than Time for Lightspeed (a crossover that's So Bad, It's Horrible at its best—seriously, if you're a Lightspeed Rescue fan or a Time Force fan, skip that shit)". And the latter comparison is not something to be taken lightly.

Anyway...I'm getting too ahead of myself.

(then a tall, short-haired, red-clad young man enters)

Carter: ...let me guess. It's a crossover, right?

Rika: Yeah. This time, it's a Pooh's Adventures fanfiction.

Carter: ...wait, how can something be fan-made have a fanfiction section?

Rika: It's for the best to not think about it. Though, considering that the Pooh's Adventures series suck—most of the time—in video format, I'm curious to see what would happen if it's written in fanfiction format.

(to the audience)

And so, from the batshit insane mind that brought you so many liveblogs comes...

Pooh's Adventures of The Princess and the Togepi, a fanfic adaptation of the Pokemon episode "The Princess and the Togepi". But the question remains. How well would it do when the story's actually written and not made by shoddy video editing?

Let's find out.

(Rika fires up her laptop, and she and Carter read...)

Chapter 1: Cast

Carter: So we get our cast list and synopsis, which says it isn't just a "parody" of "The Princess and the Togepi, but it's also a parody of The Great Mouse Detective with a twist.

Rika: If the twist involves "it's a straight retelling mashup of the two stories, just add Pooh and friends", that's a twist so bad, it would make M. Night Shyamalan cry.

I mean...say what you will about him. Say what you will about his various bad movies. At least, for his first few films, his twist endings are pretty well-thought out.

Carter: ...who?

Rika: I'll tell you later.

Carter: Anyway...we get a synopsis.

"Misty, her boyfriend Ash—"

Rika: HOLD UP!

Carter: ...?

Rika: Don't...don't...tell me that we're going to get some bullshit pairings!

Carter: ...what's wrong with those?

Rika: First off, pairings can be interesting if done well. I've come across shitloads of stories with absolutely horrid pairings. Secondly, they would have a reason why they're together. Like either a friendship that slowly bloomed into romance, or two people helping each other out and then falling in love. Stuff like that! Stuff that actually has a plot with it!

You can't just throw two people into a pairing and writing it like that.

(Carter sweatdrops)

Carter: Moving right along...

"Misty, her boyfriend Ash, and their friends arrives in Slumberland for a Togepi Festival. Suddenly Team Rocket capture Misty and bring her to Slumberland so that evil wizard named Professor Ratigan can steal her Togepi and overthrow the king, King Morlpues."

Rika: Uh...wait a second. How can Team Rocket capture Misty in Slumberland when she's already there? Unless if they take her into some sort of Dream World...I don't know.

"In the battle, Togepi is separated from Misty and winds up in Princess Camilie's hands. Now they must find Togepi and stop Professor Ratigan before it is too late! Worst still, a hungry tabby cat named Fat Cat and his minions are after the same Togepi...to eat him!"

...wait, you mean to tell me that there's another plot? Well...I have to admit, I'm not holding out too much hope, but...

Carter: And so, we get our cast list, as well as our pairings.

Rika: ...bleh, to be honest, I don't even know who some of these characters are. I don't even think the Pooh's Adventures Wiki even has a page for that fic. But from what I can gather, Fat Cat is from Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers.

(pauses as she looks at Carter) No relation to your own rescue Rangers.

Also, gotta love how some of the listings have a question mark. No, I mean...it's literally "?".

Carter: And after listing the Heroes, Villains, and the Secondary Characters...apparentally, some of the characters have Pokemon now.

Rika: I do have a couple questions. First, how in the hell would some of them, like Kairi, Fievel, and some of the Disney characters, get the Pokemon? About the only thing that makes sense is rentals, but...

Secondly, why is it that for some of the actual Pokemon cast members, some of them have a more complete list of their teams than others? About the only thing I can buy is that the author doesn't remember who had which Pokemon, but wouldn't it kill him to look that up and choose from there?

...finally, we get a listing of the songs. Don't care. NEXT CHAPTER! (clicks the link, and...)

Chapter 2: Winnie the Pooh Theme Song

(Rika looks at the title)

...good God, padding much?!

Carter: Actually, it's normal to have the theme, and display who's in the story. We get our lyrics and imagine that these guys show up, either one-by-one or in a group.

Rika: And I'm sorry, but...Christopher Robin and Jane Darling? Just how did they become a couple? You know what, screw it, it's best not to think about it.

Because, as soon as the heroes and villains are seen, apparentally...we find out that Fievel's uncle is Basil of Baker Street. I'm sorry, but how in the hell are Basil and Papa Mousekewitz related? Also, he has a crush on Olivia Flaversham.

Yeah, I have...no idea, either.

So, with the characters introduced and the "song" ends...well, I have to admit, it's...okay. There is one good thing about this fanfic, though...at the very least, we don't get barrages of credits and vanity plates, and we don't get an edited title like "Winnie the Pooh: A Poketastic Adventure" or some shit like that. With the "hiding" of the ghost, no less.

Carter: Have to admit, questions about the pairings from you aside, this looks kinda promising!

Rika: Yeah...

(then, she gets something on her laptop, a pop-up forming the words, "私は今 — すか?")

Okay, the fuck? I thought I had that disabled...

Carter: What is it?

Rika: I don't know, but I think someone's just pranking us. (clicks it off, and the same message)

"私は今 — すか?"

Go away, please. (clicks, and it returns)

"私は今、 — すか?"

...dammit.

(clicks off several more times, then after that, the message slowly appears, revealing words)

"私は今、彼女を — すか?"

...okay, this bullshit's doing it by itself...what's going...?

(after a little while, the entire message reveals itself...)

"私は今、彼女を殺す必要がありますか?"

...Carter, can you make it out?

(Carter walks over, reading the message...and he looks confused)

Carter: Oh...it says, "Should I kill her now?"...

(Rika then realizes who it is...)

Rika: ...oh, shit.

(then a hand pops out of the monitor, and Rika pulls away. She trembles in fear as a blond man lurches out, and Carter prepares his Rescue Morpher. After that, he speaks in a deep voice...)

???: There's been a disturbance...I will help to fix it. Once and for all...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Comments

Rika, you're a slack-jawed faggot if you hate the Lightspeed Rescue/Time Force team-up.
Piston1994 24th Aug 13
Yeah Rika, you can just fuck off!
DeepthroatGhoul 17th Dec 14
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