Adventures in the IOS Dimension


Part Eleven: RPG Morality

Now that we have finished grinding, it's time to go see the Elven King Feyr. Unfortunately for us, the way to Yggdrasil is guarded by a matching set of Elven guards, who won't let us filthy humans on their sacred ground.

Alba suggests we just bust some heads, but Gramps suddenly doubles over in pain and says he senses something in the Northern mountains. He runs off, and after a second, the party all follows him.

To the West of the Elven village is a cave that screams Bonus Dungeon, so we go inside. There are five multicolor, dancing frogs in a pond inside the cave, but when we get too close, there's an earthquake that causes a hole to open under our feet. We fall down, and the pond drains into the hole, causing those silly technicolor froggies to fall in after us.

We fall into water, and are swept down three levels before faceplanting into shallow water at the bottom of the cave. The frogs take one look at us and run for their lives.

As we make our way up the cave, we have to catch each of the frogs in order to open the way to go further. They get better at running away as we go up. When we catch up to the final frog, he's being confronted by someone in a yellow robe. The robed figure causes an earthquake, which sets all the frogs we've caught so far free. Boo.

He then attacks us. It turns out to be Titan (big surprise), and he is one hell of a fight. I get the feeling I wasn't supposed to try this yet. I manage to win, but only by spamming Cura and Sylph at every opportunity, and then only just.

But hey, I got the Titan summon.

There's a chocobo forest outside, so I also take the opportunity to learn the Chocobo summon. A black chocobo provides us with a handy means to travel to the Northern mountains, where we can find out what Gramps' sudden case of cramps is about.

Black chocobos in this game cannot cross oceans unless it's shallow. They also can't fly over mountains, villages, tiny cottages, and black, pulsing missing land. And they can only land in forests. Only some of that actually makes sense.

At the Northern mountains, Gramps is struggling to remember something important. Not having patience for the senile, Nacht walks over to an oddly colored patch of dirt and, lo and behold, a secret passage opens. The party assumes that it leads to Yggdrasil but given it's Gramps we're talking about, I'll lay even odds it leads to a strip club.

The monsters here are pathetically easy compared to the Cave of Convulsions. At the end of the cave, we find a green-robed figure, who forbids us nasty humans from entering sacred ground.

We kill him, of course. Because killing elven guards is bad, but killing giant green guards is a-okay.

Yggdrasil is beautiful inside. It's also strangely full of monsters. Huh. Someone could make a mint selling monster extermination services to the various royal houses.

We can also now exit to the village and use the inn, because the guards are inexplicably gone now that we've gone the long way around to get here. Guess it's tea time or something.

A little ways into the tree we find another Green Keeper, which we also kill. We also find an Elven boy who asks if we're from the Empire. Nacht and Glaive seem to think we might have to attack him (geez, guys...), but Diana once again intervenes. She tells the kid that he doesn't have to be afraid, that they're from Lux, not Avalon. Which is only half true, but the truth is somewhat complicated.

Gramps also gets a splitting headache when he sees the kid.

The kid introduces himself as Prince Adrian, and asks for her help. He says his father has been acting weird since the Imperials came. He wants his old dad back. Diana agrees to help if Adrian will keep their presence a secret.

Alba thinks Diana is biting off more than she can chew, but Diana thinks they'll be fine since Nacht and Alba are here to help. Not presumptuous at all, is she?

That out of the way, we go further up the tree, killing another Green Keeper. These things have an annoying habit of using Haste and a powerful healing spell on themselves. They also use Osmose on my mages, and there's never enough MP even without that problem. I take back implying it's wrong to kill them, they totally need to die.

We finally reach the top. Yggdrasil is a huge dungeon. There are two Elven guards blocking the way, which Diana and Alba deduce mean the king must be ahead. Ya think?

Gramps develops an even worse headache than before. He says he remembers this place.

Prince Adrian shows up and tells the guards there are humans loose in the tree. He tells them to follow him, and runs them right up to our hiding place... and right past. He then comes back, looks at us for a second, and goes on his merry way.

The way clear, we head for the king. He seems really shocked to see Gramps alive. Our crystal shard starts sparkling, and the "king" is revealed to be an imposter!

It's Asmodai of the Earth, one of the four generals. And he is not happy to see us.

He exposits that "Gramps" here traded his memory and sight in exchange for the lives of his wife and child. Alba is quite shocked that "Mr. Perv" is actually the Elven king Feyr.

Asmodai also expresses his intention to take our crystals. Boss fight! Minus "Gramps", that is.

He's surrounded by a purple miasma barrier, and we can't do a thing to him. He then hits us with blind, silence, and paralyze before wiping us out with an earth spell. He's just about to wipe us out when Prince Adrian jumps in. Asmodai blasts the kid, and then prepares to blast the Queen when she runs over to him. This wakes up "Gramps", who jumps in front of the blast.

The party is seriously pissed by this, but before they can act, "Gramps" jumps into battle alone. His efforts are just as futile, at first, until he unlocks Doubleshot. He then uses Decisive Shot, which hits Asmodai for 9999 damage... but also causes 9999 to "Gramps". This destroys the barrier.

The part steps in to finish him off... and he kicks my ass. Dammit.

Okay time to quit. I'll grind up again and take this jerk on later.


Hey, it's Final Fantasy: After a certain point, it's impossible to progress without stopping and grinding every so often.

As you can guess, you've already reached that point.
Hunter1 4th Sep 12
That's true, at least of the 2D Final Fantasies. I don't recall ever having this problem past that point.
ccoa 5th Sep 12