Ow! OW! OW! What kind of idiotic gym design was this? Where are the freaking lights? I can't stop tripping over my feet or running into the walls! The place was just as damn dark as the lower floor of the cave I was in earlier! If only I could use flash... wait.
Brawly prohibits the use of Flash without his badge (somehow...). Then he goes and cuts the lights in his own Gym so challengers can't see shit.
What an asshole.
I continued on, stumbling my way through the gym and fighting the trainers. As it turns out, my team choice wasn't so great after all, thanks to a little shit known as "Meditite". That god-damn Psychic subtyping would let it hit both Doom and Trevor for Super Effective damage, and Porygon was obviously weak to Fighting. Greg was the only one who would resist both types, if only he would listen to me.
Of course, if he would listen to me, I would have a lot less reason to be challenging this Gym.
Fortunately, the trainers were all pretty stupid. One of the girls, Jocelyn, just ordered her Meditite to sit there meditating while Porygon fried the Meditite's internal organs. Dumbass. After the battle, I noticed that the Gym had gotten a little brighter.
Me: Whoa, is that just me or is it getting brighter each time I beat one of you chuckleheads?
Jocelyn: That's the design of the Gym! You have to defeat the trainers to break the darkness.
Suddenly, something clicked in my head. Something that made me feel incredibly pissed off.
Me: Brawly deliberately banned use of Flash without his badge just so his Gym puzzle couldn't be thwarted, didn't he?
Jocelyn: Maaaaaaaaaybe.
Me: SON OF A BITCH.
Livid, I stormed off to find Brawly, curb-stomping the remaining trainers in my way *. And also bumping into every single wall in my way. Finally, I stood before the Gym Leader.
Me: Brawly! I have come to do battle, and obtain your badge!
Brawly: Yes, I have felt your battles with my trainers. Your power sends chills down my spine! But why do you seek my badge?
Me: Because someone put an arbitrary restriction on Flash for the sake of a fucking puzzle.
Brawly: Good times, good times.
Me: Just shut up and get ready.
Brawly: Oh, I am. It's you who needs to be ready. If you plan on defeating my team of three, you better have a full team.
I smirked. Then held up three pokeballs between my fingers.
Me: I'll only need three Pokemon, to match yours.
Of course I was leaving out the fact that it was less having faith in the three Pokemon selected and more knowing that my other three would be totally useless in this battle. But he didn't need to know that.
The battle begun, with both of us sending out our Machop to begin with. Funny that. We also simultaneously called out Karate Chop at the same time, but Trevor struck faster and hit harder than his Machop.
Me: Oh, wow. You're the Fighting-type specialist and my Machop totally outclasses yours. That's got to hurt.
With the second Karate Chop, his Machop fell.
Brawly: He was the weakest member of my team. My next Pokemon will prove my skill with Fighting-type Pokemon.
Brawly sent out his Meditite, and I decided to leave Machop in. Switching to Porygon would mean leaving him open to a Super Effective attack.
Brawly ordered his Meditite to use "Focus Punch" and Meditite started focusing, only to be interrupted with a Karate Chop to the face. Once again it started focusing, and once again, Karate Chop to the face. This continued until the Meditite was badly battered, on the verge of collapse.
And Brawly used a Super Potion on it.
Me: Uh, okay... little annoying to have wasted that much time already, but you're going to take a different approach now, right?
Brawly: Meditite, use Focus Punch!
Me: Guess not.
The Focus Punch Karate Chop tango continued until Meditite was once more on the verge of collapse. Brawly once more used a Super Potion.
Me: What the shit, Brawly?! You're just wasting time now! Are you going to do anything differently?
Brawly: Focus Punch all day, errday.
Me: Huh. I didn't even need to tell Trevor to do that Karate Chop.
And then, finally, his Meditite was on the verge of collapse. Again. Again.
Brawly: Shit, I'm all out of potions.
Me: Oh, how delightful.
Some might say that I enjoyed the next Karate Chop way, way too much.
Those people would be wrong. If anything, I didn't enjoy that enough.
Lastly, Brawly sent out his Makuhita, and I switched to Doom as Makuhita used Bulk Up. Doom poisoned the Makuhita with Poison Powder, who proceeding to use Bulk Up a second time. With his attack doubled, Doom's Fighting-type resistance was effectively cancelled out. Rats.
Fortunately, the poison was working, draining Makuhita's health over time while Doom rapidly fired bullets at the Makuhita. Doom wasn't very fast, but thanks to Vital Throw's negative priority, she struck first every time. However, Makuhita consumed an Oran Berry to recover health, healing a surprisingly large portion of his health.
Knowing that Doom wouldn't be able to survive another Vital Throw, I used a Super Potion of my own to fully restore her, then ordered her to use Bullet Seed again. However, the last two Vital Throws had left her in critical condition, while his Makuhita was still in decent shape. I wasn't sure if the next Bullet Seed would be enough, but on the other hand, I really didn't give a shit what happened to Doom anyway.
Me: Doom, use Bullet Seed! I totally believe in you!
I was surprised to see that Doom did in fact succeed in knocking out Makuhita with the last Bullet Seed. Brawly recalled his Makuhita and congratulated my win.
Me: Fuck yes, victory! And I couldn't have done it without this carrot top here.
Brawly: K...Kakarot?
Me: What? No, carrot top. Because of the orange leaves? Although really, the leaves of carrots are green, but hey, I didn't invent that nickname for redhe-
Brawly: KAKAROT?!
Me: No, I said carrot top- whoa, what the hell is happening to you?
All of a sudden, the Gym got a whole lot brighter, and I realised that Brawly had been the source of light in this Gym all along. As his muscles bulged and his hair turned a greenish-yellow, I realised something else.
I was mistaken about his name.
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