I'd like to note that any predictions I make in this liveblog are genuine guesses. I leave annotations with guesses, and point it out when I'm right. I swear I'm not cheating.
Nice work, Kathy.
I wanted to start off this book by seeing how long it would take to stumble into one of Rayburn's signature shibboleths. It took half a page. Let's look at the introduction first, though. (This chapter will be very dense with quotes, since it's all set-up.)
Look at the comma in that second sentence... what's it doing there? Equally shocking is the accurate use of "she" rather than "her" immediately following the error, but I digress.
We get a description of Matt and Susan, and their perfect little lives and reasonably successful jobs in suburban Ohio, and this annoying priest named Father Spiers.
Ok, so we've got our villain (for the chapter, at least). He's a religious coot and some of the town doesn't like him. Maybe it's setting up for a Crucible-esque war between the church and the "unbelievers". Also, he's apparently worthwhile, which I guess means the town thinks he's worth their time to listen to. That's not much of a compliment.
I honestly have no idea what Rayburn was trying to say here.
Alright, now we've got something. It's time for Matt to step up lead the rebellion to retake the town's church. To arms! Hurrah! Alas, no, Matt and Spiers are just passive-aggressive whiners who take out restraining orders on each other rather than confront their problems. The story continues to tell us that Spiers has started to tell the churchgoers that Matt and Susan are satanists and that they're going to have evil babies and destroy the world.
In the small town of Portsmouth, a town nestled on the edge of the Ohio River, that was considered to be a blasphemy.
Hold up a second. Less than half a page ago you said that a good portion of the town agreed with Matt, and thought that Spiers was crazy. Now "the entire town" hates him. I guess the smart people just got up and left, which almost makes more sense than this. Also - that is not how you use the word "blasphemy". The story doesn't give you much time to dwell on it though, because JUMP CUT! Susan's at the hospital about to give birth!
Ok, she has a baby, they name him Craig, everyone's happy, they kiss a bunch. Then, in a completely unexpected manner, tragedy strikes! By that, I mean "Spiers shows up". Matt immediately gets ridiculously angry. Spiers torques his lips and delivers the message that Craig is cursed for life. Also, he already know's Craig's name, which is possibly one of only two plot devices that Rayburn has in his repertoire. Spiers leaves, but Matt isn't finished.
"Don't worry, I'm just going to beat the frail old man within an inch of his life, knowing that he doesn't have health insurance or relatives, so I can get off lawsuit free," Matt responded.
Just kidding. Matt runs after Spiers and catches him in a nearby hospital room. My guess? It's actually just some poor old man caught in the middle of a Matt's demonic hallucination. Following the path that any natural, healthy adult should, Matt then strangles Spiers/hallucination-man to death in a bloody fit of rage. As he digs his fingers into the man's throat, he chokes out:
Matt laughs at this, in a way that's totally not psychotic or indicative of mental instability, and continues until Spiers is dead, then kneels down, still gripping the throat, and gloats in Spiers' face.
Nothing to see here. Just a normal, non-serial-killer, healthy father fit to raise a child in the coming years.
Spiers then collapses, says "The Shadow God is coming" and dies. Shocking twist!!!: the man was actually a friendly OBGYN the whole time!!!
As the chapter closes, Matt sees a ghost rise out of the body and laugh wholeheartedly at him. Matt decides that Spiers himself must be the Shadow God.
Aaaaand... it's over. Ok, lots of setup there, not a lot of storytelling. Worse, we're supposed to sympathize with Matt, because he comes up later in the story as some kind of guiding figure. While you needed to know this for the following chapters to make sense, I'm really sorry that anyone had to read this, as it is more bad than funny.
Shibboleths (I love that word):
- Worthwhile: Does not mean "respectable" or "important".
- Blasphemy: Should not be used with an article.
- Torqued: Not the same as "contorted"
- Wholeheartedly: Just wrong.
Gripes: Rayburn's defining flaw (besides his loose grasp on the English language) is is inability to create characters that people actually care about. Even though Matt is supposed to be some kind of wrongly-accused hero here, he just comes across as a violent psychopath. As you might expect, it gets worse in chapter 1.
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