about live blogs add a live blog
When Worlds Collide: VS. The Boskeyverse
Psyga 315

[table of contents]
Episode 7: VS. Ozzy
Ugh... Whatís next on the chopping block, Watty?

Wataru: Uh... Itís a Mega Crossover...

Yeah, I know.

Wataru: No. I mean, it crosses more than three-to-four works. And itís based off Beast Wars apparently from the description.

And yet, from the title, ďHere Come The ClonesĒ, it suggests something different.

Wataru: Well, if you need me, I will be in the other room. {leaves the room}

Alright... Letís see what it is...


We start off with an LBT character named Ozzy in the Great Valley, because the author knows that nearly all the fanfics have the characters shoehorned in and figured that they should just start off with an LBT charater. {chug} And said character gets captured by N.I.M.H.

Ozzy used to live in The Great Valley. But he was captured and taken to N.I.M.H. There, he went through experiments. One day, he found not only could he read, but he had physic powers!

However, I will refer to Ozzy as Ozzy Osbourne, because that would be very funny. Also, this is what I mean when I said that the author was trying to spell psychic in the previous fanfic, because here we have another instance of the misspelling. So, what are physic powers? Like the power to defy the laws of physics?

He destroyed the lab on which he was in and swore revenge. He lived alone for years on a desert island. He waited for just the right moment to strike!

... You sure nothing happened in the middle of that living on an island thing? Like some bad guy didnít come and make Ozzy his dragon for a while before he decided to leave because he knew he was being used?

And so Ozzy decides to make clones of Spike, Zazu, and Nala... Why those last two, I have no idea. At least heís getting a good idea with Spike.

We then go back to the Rugrats, who are swept away by some green wind that is actually a portal. Meanwhile, in another part of the world, Simba, Nala, and Zazu all get taken by that wind as well. And so do Littlefoot and his friends. And so they all get put on a small dock. And Littlefoot sees Tommy.

Then, he reconized one of the babies. "Tommy?" Tommy looked at him strangely. Littlefoot slinked closer to the baby and asked him, "Don't you reconized me? It's me, Littlefoot!"

ďI gave you your morphing powers, derailed your meeting with Catdog, and was your Pokemon! You must recognize me now!Ē No, actually he recalls the very first fanfic, Revenge. You know, the one where he came out of nowhere and saved the Rugrats from the Zira knockoff? Anyways, after some stupid laugh montage, our heroes decide to head to an island, however, thereís a hurricane in their path. Angelica doesnít know what it is, so Simba tells her...

Simba told her that a hurricane is the most deadliest and strongest wind storms of all.

... OBJECTION!

That is a pretty hefty claim, and while several hurricanes have taken that claim, I wouldnít go as far as call them the most deadliest or strongest. It depends on how its categorized. If itís a Level 4 or 5 hurricane, then yes, it will be pretty deadly, but if not, then itís not all that strong. But they decide to go to the island anyways, and after some pointless sentences, the Rugrats make it to shore. After some ďconvincingĒ from Simba and Spike, Petrie and Zazu explore the ruined lab. They discover some machines, including a mechanical hand

The hand grabbed Petrie and pulled out one of his scales.

... Do pteranodons even have scales? Anyways, Petrie finds out heís been cloned and he flies out, telling the others that thereís a cloning machine. Tommy decides to go in, but everyone else is too chicken shit... However, when Spike comes along, the others do as well. Hello, revolving doors. Anyways, they enter the lab and explore. They come across a dining room and Angelica eats some of the cookies on there. I wonít call her an idiot since she didnít know that Ozzy Osbourne was staying in the lab.

"Angelica! Well, looks like those Rugrats, lions, bird, dinosaurs, and pterosaur found their way into my hidden lab!" Ozzy boomed.

Wow, he freaking acknowledges that heís dealing with tons of different species. That is a great feat in the Boskeyverse, where dinosaurs just appear out of nowhere and no one says anything about it.

He then lifts Angelica with his psychic powers. Though he stops when Cera tells him to. For some reason.

"Welcome," he said coldly, "to my lab. For finding it, you shall be rewarded . . . with a shock!" the dinosaur created a ball of electricity and threw it at the youngsters.

... Okay, seriously, this guy kicks ass. Ozzy in Land Before Time was, to the best of my recollection, not that great of a villain. This fanfic? It makes him the Big Bad and a Large Ham. And itís awesome. Sure, itís possibly a character derailment, but unlike Chuckie, he wasnít that fleshed out of a character. However, Stu!Lil suddenly goes apeshit and decides to take on Ozzy.

Lil ran towards Ozzy, but the evil dino waved his hands and his eyes glowed blue. Lil's condition suddenly changes so drastically, she collapsed to the ground!

"LIL!!!!" Everyone yelled as they ran to her. Lil got up and was a littlebeat. This angered everybody.

... What did he do? Did he Mind Rape her?

"You want to fight?! We'll give you a fight! Spike, get him!!!!" Spike barked and ran to Tommy's side. He growled and let out a roar. 'A roar?' Tommy thought.

Did... Did Tommy just lampshade animals roaring when they canít really roar in real life?

Everyone heard glass breaking. Smoke steamed though a door. Out of the smoke appeared three clones.

They can also hear the sound of the clones bumping into the door because it didnít open.

Curb-Stomp Battle ensues (no, really, the fight between the clones and the originals last about a few words save for Clone!Spike vs. Original!Spike) .

The dog went onto the stage (more like a basketball court without hoops) and charged at his clone.

... You mean a gym? When you say stage, it makes me feel like theyíre gonna do a musical (YOU ARE THE PRINCE OF TENNIS!) and a better Curb-Stomp Battle ensues, complete with Fearful Symmetry. Original!Spike gets his ass handed to, and suddenly they get attacked with black balls that captured anyone who isnít a human or cloned. Yeah, I think you guys can figure out what story this is ripping off.

The psychic destroying the lab and then setting it up to be his lair? The psychic deciding to clone some animals to form an army to take over the world? The initial battle between clones vs. originals ending in a curbstomp battle followed closely by more cloning? Yeah, this is Pokťmon: The First Movie. With Rugrats. Yeeeah. Hey, Rule #2, how are you feeling? Broken beyond all repair? Shit. #4 experienced the same thing in the previous fanfiction. And then suddenly the grey wolf appears. And then Yoshi appears. Who was he cloned from? And then the narrator spoils that two Digimon (thankfully without the s) are in this story. Shellmon and Agumon. Agumon pops by and talks to Tommy for a bit.

"ARE YOU READY TO FIGHT????!!!!!!!" Littlefoot and Tommy boldy turned to him and answered out, "Yes!" Ozzy walked towards the arena. The clones, including Yoshi, Spike, Littlefoot, and Simba, followed him. (the dog Spike will be called Spike2, to tell him and the dinosaur Spike apart) Tommy, Angelica, Phil, Lil, Agumon, and Chuckie walked towards the arena with the originals. This including Spike, Spike2, Littlefoot, Cera, and Nala. "Then, LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!"

Okay, first off, itís good that the narrator pointed out the fact that there are two (or three, counting the clone) Spikes, but the way they decided to separate them... Really? Spike2? Spiketwo would be a good name for his clone.

Next up, itís pretty clear that Ozzy is just trolling. Heís not aiming to take over the world, heís just having a good time going all large ham, and watching the chaos unfold. Seriously, itís hard to imagine Ozzyís voice without it being either Ozzy Osbourne or freaking John De Lancie!

Oh, suddenly Strut appears. And instead of them being brothers, Strut is the original and Ozzy is the clone. Well, looks like we found our Mew and Mewtwo. Wait... Early on in the fanfic, they said Ozzy was taken from the Great Valley, blew everyone up, and set up base in the lab. When the fuck did they decide to make Ozzy a clone? This is starting to sound like a bad comic book plot.

"You can't do this." he said reasonably. "And why not?" "Because . . ." But before he could finish, Ozzy slashed him with his claws. Strut lunged at him and the two began to fight.

Pfffft hahahaha. Sorry but that was unintentionally funny. Anyways, massive clone battle ensues, Tommy gets hurt and realizes that clones are people too, the clones and originals get tired, and Clone!Simba tries to get Original!Simba to fight him to no avail. Oh and he cries at the fact that Original!Simba is not putting up a fight. Guess Clone!Simba is blood thirsty?

Then... this light appears... Huh? And apparently it can make things into cyborgs... what? What the fuck? Where did it come from? Anyways, the dinosaurs (Sans Yoshi) get hit with the light and become beast machines... and then...

...

...

...

WHAT.

THE.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKED UP REVELATION? THIS TWIST FUCKS UP EVERYTHING ESTABLISHED AND JUST RIPS OPEN NEW HOLES!

HOW THE HELL DID OZZY GET DNA SAMPLES FROM ZAZU, NALA, AND SPIKE WHEN HE WAS ON A DIFFERENT PLANET? WHY THE HELL WERE HUMAN SCIENTISTS ON A ROBOT FILLED PLANET? THIS ISNíT A TWIST! THIS JUST MAKES EVERYTHING CONFUSING! AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG! MUST! GET! MOMENTAI!

{runs off to grab some}


{Meanwhile, Wataru is watching Psyga flip out via computer monitor. The door opens and he turns to the door}

Wataru: Okay, let me get your- {sees that the person isnít Psyga, but rather the man with the blue tinted glasses, he recognizes him and expresses shock} Oh, no. {tries to turn back to the computer keyboard, but the manís backhand knocks him in the head, knocking him out}

???: {puts Wataru on the floor and sits in his seat, watching as Psyga returns, drinking a cup of water}


{Psyga walks back in, drinking a cup of water}

There. Thatís better. Alright, letís resume the fic! We have the Beast Machines song play for no reason.

The Beast Wars are over.

What Beast Wars? There was none in this fan fic!

The light vanished and in its place stood the dinosaurs. But they were now super-strong cyborgs. They ignored their new powers and continued to battle their clones.

So... They became cyborgs... and yet... the author decided to scrap that idea? WHAT THE HELL? WHY THE HELL DID YOU MAKE THEM CYBORGS IF YOUíRE NOT GONNA ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING WITH THEM! ISNíT IT ALL POINTLESS!?!?!

Then Shellmon comes out of nowhere. Much like the Catdog Crossover, this guy becomes the main focus for the next few minutes. Iím starting to think the author is having trouble deciding just what to make the story about. Is it a rip-off of Pokemon? Is it supposed to be something like Beast Wars? Suddenly it becomes Digimon. Ozzy barely gets mentioned for the duration of the Shellmon fight, so I think this is gonna be one large Big Lipped Alligator Moment. After Shellmon hurts Tommy for a bit, Agumon digivolves into Greymon. He kicks Shellmonís ass and throws him into the ocean...

Wait... Does Cybertron even have water?

But to their horror, the fight was still going on!

Uh... YEAH! Why the hell was that fanfic so distracted by the pointless Shellmon fight? What purpose does it even have?

Oh, and guess how this ends. Guess how the fight between Ozzy and Strut ends. Tommy goes in between a potential Beam-O-War and nearly gets killed for it. Nah, he doesnít get Taken for Granite.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, stopped what they were doing and watched him.

Woah, who the hell are you? Are you the author? Some random narrator? Pinkie Pie? Gah! So confusing! So Tommy isnít really dead and like the movie, everyone gets amnesia. Well, except for Tommy.

KAMEN RIDE: DIEND!


Good God, did that suck. It wasnít as bad as The Great Pokemon Fight, however. Ozzy was a good large ham and heís entertaining to read. However itís pretty much a plot-for-plot remake of Pokťmon: The First Movie, if you add in the fact that it all takes place on Cybertron and that thereís a Digimon fight in it... Come to think of it... That kind of reminds me of the Early Bird Cameos Toei is recently doing in their movies. Somewhere near the end of the film, a Digimon shows up and shows what heís got. The twists it pulls are pretty bad and more out-of-left-field than actual twists.

But other than that, itís still bad. Well then, I think I am almost done...

{suddenly, a voice is heard via intercom}

???: No, you are not done.

Huh? Whoís there? What happened to Wataru?

???: Heís a little...

Tied up?

???: ... Yes.

Who are you?

???: Turn on your TV.

... Alright. {gets the remote and turns on the TV, on it is the man with the blue-tinted glasses}

???: Recognize me?

... No, I donít.

???: Hm... {takes off glasses} How about now?

Look, just tell me who you are and what you want. Iím not here to play guessing games.

???: Peh. My name is Kenzaki Kazuma. Does that ring any bells?

Hm... Kazuma... Kazuma... Oh! Are you that rabbit dude?

Kazuma: No, you idiot. Iím Kamen Rider Blade!

... Oooooooooooooooh...

Kazuma: And you claim to be a Kamen Rider fan.

Hey, not my fault I didnít recognize you! Youíre way different than how you looked in the show!

Kazuma: Yes... That... that can be attributed to many things. But Iím not here to discuss my life story. Iím here to finalize this experiment.

Wait... Experiment? What do you mean?

Kazuma: Wataru never told you, did he? Much of the liveblogs you do were made for one reason: to gauge your anger. However, you tend to display less than favourable results. Most of those are because of Wataru calling for ďbreaksĒ and ďMomentai dosagesĒ, and thus stop you from reaching your true anger. Iím here to make sure that isnít the case.

Wait... So you want to feed on my hate? Should I make a Profion joke?

Kazuma: No. Profion failed in trying to anger you, even when you beat him up.

Shit! Youíre Arc Welding now?

Kazuma: Is that what youíre calling it now? Peh. There is one more fanfic left. And you will read and finish it. No technical difficulties. No breaks. Nothing. You will read the entire fanfic.

Oh shit, you mean that large-ass one?

Kazuma: Donít worry, it will be broken up into parts, but there will be no promise that you will have room to breathe. Prepare yourself, because the next fanfic you read will be "All Dogs, and Spike, Go To Heaven".

... Ah crap.
4th May '12 7:11:31 PM flag for mods
comments
TV Tropes by TV Tropes Foundation, LLC is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available from thestaff@tvtropes.org.
Privacy Policy