- Page: 3
Episode 2: VS. Animorphs
So we start off with the Rugrats in the park, minding their own business. The parents decide to go to a zoo, perhaps learning their lesson that you shouldn’t take your kids to a place where they were nearly mauled by wolves lest they get mauled by even more wolves. Soon, Lil notices something. A... dinosaur... AGAIN? I’m more than willing to accept Yeerks or Andalites, but with Dinosaurs, it’s a whole new different ball game. Unlike with aliens who can just come out of nowhere and invade Earth, dinosaurs are extinct. It’s scientifically proven. The only logical reasons why dinosaurs would exist in modern times are through cloning or preservation (i.e. ice). You can’t just plop a dinosaur into the story and say “Oh hey, Dinosaur!” unless you have a good reason why they’re there. So the kids go “OMG! DINOSAUR!” ... Hey, going back to “Revenge”, how come the parent’s response wasn’t something among the lines of this? So anyways, this dinosaur claims he has a gift for Tommy, and when asked how he knows Tommy’s name, he simply says he just knows. Hurray for stupid as hell Hand Wave. Oh, and it’s Littlefoot. Again. Yahoo. Oh, and he said it with a frown, as if he knew that he’s been put in another crossover fanfic so soon after Revenge. So Littlefoot winds up being the guy who grants Tommy his Animorphing powers... Wait... WHY THE HELL IS LITTLEFOOT THE ONE TO GIVE HIM THE POWERS? The only reason I can think of is so that Tommy can acquire the DNA from Littlefoot and thus transform into an Apatosaurus. But wait... Why is Littlefoot giving Tommy these powers? In Animorphs, the reason why those kids were given powers was that the alien giving it to them was dying and had no choice but to select them. Here? For shits and giggles? Well, Littlefoot lays down the rules for Tommy, which are pretty much “don’t stay morphed for two hours or you’ll have a Mode Lock, and don’t morph into anything you’re allergic to, otherwise you’ll morph into it when having an intense emotion.” There’s another rule but I have no idea what it means. “Control the animal mind once you’ve morphed”? The hell does that mean? Is it supposed to be something akin to what Optimus Primal said in Beast Machines about "unleashing the warrior within" or whatnot? * Also, Littlefoot is explaining this to Tommy like he’s talking to a teenager... when he’s really a toddler. One, how the hell is he supposed to know what an hour is, and two, how does he know what he’s allergic to? Lastly, how the hell is he supposed to know what “acquiring” means? On top of that, how the hell is Littlefoot holding the cube? Is he putting it on the top of his head? So Littlefoot leaves after Tommy acquired his DNA. And so Tommy begins to morph, and once the morph’s complete, finds out that he can “thought-speak” or make his thoughts heard to others. I’ll buy that the kids know what that is since it sounds like something they would name. A few days later, they go to the zoo and Tommy acquired new morphs... Wait... In order to acquire a morph, you have to make contact with it. Physical contact. Several animals he acquired (which he never uses, BTW) are pretty dangerous looking, especially with the wolf. You know, the same species that the kids were nearly mauled to death by? Yeah, I’m pretty sure the parents are cool with allowing their toddler to touch animals that could easily swallow him in one gulp, even when they act tranquilized. Then again, they did stupider. However, there’s a velociraptor stalking them, and when the moment was right, he attacks the Rugrats. Why? Was he just having an awful day and decided to kill someone to get the edge off?
The families rested near the cliff in the tourist trail in the woods. They all remembered how their kids got lost in the woods. They'd never let that ever happen to them again.Instead they decided to camp at the exact same forest where wolves attacked them. Seriously, even for an adult from Rugrats, that was pretty stupid. So Tommy decides to confront the Velociraptor...
"Stu!Tommy's going toward that..that....thing!"... Was that a grammar error or a Characterization Tag? You know what? I’m making it a Characterization Tag. Anyone who suddenly confronts a creature in these fanfics ala Dragon Shy will now be given the tag “Stu!”. So Stu!Tommy transforms into a wolf (Courage Wolf would be so proud...) and fights the raptor for about... half an hour. I’m surprised it hasn’t attracted a crowd in that time. Stu!Tommy gets his ass handed to, but when Dil is threatened, he gets the resolve to fight again. Then they fall off a cliff. And then they fight. And then the raptor just gives up. No really, he was like “screw this, I’m out.” and leaves. A little less anti-climatic compared to the previous Wolf Vs. Dino fight... Although it ends in the raptor just leaving... it’s a little disappointing. And we never find out what the hell the raptor was doing there... OR what Littlefoot was doing with an Escafil Device. While I can use a theory and say that both Littlefoot and the Raptor are actually aliens who morphed into dinosaurs, not only would it mean that I’m giving this more effort than the author, but it might cause some serious paradox problems, both in canon and in time. See, in Animorphs, the heroes actually went back in time and gained dinosaur morphs... but they lost them due to a time paradox or something like that. Not to mention that it’s impossible to acquire a morph when the animal is the morphed state of someone else.
Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, Dil, and Angelica decided not to morph ever again.Wait... I thought only Tommy could morph. Whatever, Tommy likes his powers. KAMEN RIDE: DIEND!
While I can’t say this is Animorphs In-Name-Only, I can’t exactly say that it was enjoyable. On one hand, you have the fact that we get another crack at a wolf vs. dinosaur fight, and it plays out a lot better than the previous fight, albeit ending in another Rage Quit. On the other hand, you still have dinosaurs existing in the modern age with no explanation, dinosaurs attacking kids for no reason, and dinosaurs giving toddlers morphing powers for no reason. What I can say is that it hurt a little less than what I read last time. What’s in store for next time? Hell if I know, but tune in next time to find out!
- Page: 3