Chapter 37: Dennis the Menace
Dennis stomped his foot on the ground, and N glanced away in shame.
"Son I am disappoint."
"Aww, but dad..."
"Shut up! You stupid ignorant foolish moronic unintelligent idiot!"
"Hey, that isn't very-"
"Nice?! I'll tell you what isn't nice! It took me 19 years to make this N! It was supposed to do what I told it and use the legendary Pokemon under MY command! But nooo
, you lost to the Moop, didn't you!?"
"No buts, mister! You are grounded!"
"Into hamburger meat!"
"I want a full refund! I want it I want it I want it Mommy I want it!"
"Throwing a temper tantrum isn't going to help, Dennis."
He growled at this, before resuming his insult-N parade.
"Anyway, son, I forgive you. After all, I love you still. Aaah! Wrong! As if! LOOK BOY!"
N turned to face him.
"Now you have two options here. You leave, and we pretend this whole thing never happened, or I kill you here because you're ugly and I hate you. Which do you want?"
"The... first one?"
"Ha! Trick question! You never had that choice! Ha ha!"
N sat on the ground and moped.
"I should have dealt with you earlier! Now you know too much, so you have to die!"
"Can't we talk this out?"
"No! I don't talk things out with Moops!"
Alder and Cheren entered.
"Wait, Dennis was a villain the entire time?! Say it ain't so!!"
"Yes! I was secretly evil
! And now only I will command Pokemon!"
"You fool! That's a ridiculous idea!"
"Is it? IS IT, ALDER?!"
"Uh, yeah. It is."
"Oh. Well, who cares what you think?!"
"Shut up. This is MY show!"
He healed my Pokemon.
"Hey! No fair! I wanted to fight him with his weakened team! Nonono!"
"So we ARE fighting, then?"
"Of course! Chorus, get in here!"
The Shadow Triad darted in and stood at the sides of the arena.
Final final battle!
Anthony vs. Dennis
"This shall be our final battle!"
"It's our FIRST battle!"
"So? It's our first and last!"
He led with a nasty-looking Cofagrigus, while I led with Mamoswine. Mamoswine used Earthquake.
"I was expecting exactly that kind of move!"
Cofagrigus used Toxic, poisoning Mamoswine. I casually used an Antidote on him while Cofagrigus wasted a turn using Protect. I eventually goaded Dennis into wasting a Full Restore on Cofagrigus, and defeated it with little damage to Mamoswine.
"Fine then! I'm bringing out the big guns now!"
He sent out Hydreigon.
"Three heads of pure destruction and malice! Like me!"
"You only have one head."
"THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!"
Mamoswine got the first strike with Ice Shard, and dodged Hydreigon's Fire Blast. I struck with Ice Shard again, and Mamoswine dodged Fire Blast yet again.
"That isn't fair!"
"Should have gone with Flamethrower!"
Mamoswine struck with Ice Shard again, and Hydreigon missed with Focus Blast.
"HYDREIGON, ARE YOU BLIND?!"
Mamoswine finished it off.
"WHAT?! My precious Hydreigon!! That's it! Get her, Seismitoad! Use-"
Seismitoad was defeated by a single Leaf Storm.
"This is kinda easy."
He sent out a Bisharp.
"I'm totally original with this one! It's not like one of the Elite Four used a Bisharp as his strongest Pokemon!"
Lucario took out the Bisharp in one hit with a Force Palm.
"Stop that! Let me use my Pokemon!!"
He sent out Bouffalant, while I sent out Honchkrow. Honchkrow successfully paralyzed the Bouffalant but fell to a Head Charge.
"It's still five on two."
All of a sudden the Shadow Triad began chanting.
"So that's why they're here! To chant your name."
Dennis twitched and looked at the Shadow Triad, who continued.
I sent Exeggutor back out, who took Bouffalant out with Leaf Storm.
"That's it! time for my final Pokemon! And it has no weak!"
He sent out an Eelektross. I sent out Typhlosion. They fought, and Eelektross defeated Typhlosion, but not without taking damage.
I sent out Omastar.
"Hahaha! Look, she thinks Water types can fight Electric types!"
Eelektross used Wild Charge on Omastar, dealing calamitous damage but not defeating it.
"So! What are you gonna do now, foolish idiot?"
Opelucid City Gym, after I had defeated Drayden
"So that's it, then! Go on to the Pokemon League, and remember, Anthony: Always, always
trust in the power of water!"
"Omastar, use Surf."
Omastar created a massive wave, washing Eelektross against the wall and soaking Dennis. Eelektross attempted to stand back up, but collapsed and the glowing marks on its body ceased to glow.
"My plans! Trashed! My calculations! For naught! My awesome cobalt crown! Didn't even start production!"
"Nonono! I wanted to win! Waaaah! Waaaah! Let me win!"
"But I'm perfect!! I made Team Plasmoron! I am the perfect ruler of a perfect new world! Because I'm perfect!"
"So N, how are you?"
"HEY! I'M STILL RELEVANT HERE! TALK TO MEEEEE!"
"Shut up, Dennis."
"NOOOOOOOO! MY NAME'S! NOT! DENNIS!!!!!!!
"Come on, Alder, let's take Dennis away to the authorities."
They grabbed Dennis's arms and dragged him away, him throwing a fit the entire way.
"Anthony. Can we talk?"
"Remember back in Accumula, when Cheren told me I talk too quickly?"
"Back then, your Pokemon said it liked you. I thought it was kinda creepy. But now I see... uh... something. I don't know what. This whole story has been sorta lost on me."
"So... I guess that's it. Maybe I'll see you again another time."
He sent out Zekrom and climbed on its back.
"Away, Zappy, away!"
He took off through the Zekrom-shaped hole in the wall, soaring off into the distance.
"And so that settles that."
I walked away, toward the exit of the castle. Suddenly I became aware of a discomfort I had forgotten about.
"Huh, forgot I still had these."
I pulled Cheren's glasses out and put them in my pocket. I then resumed my walk.
"I really need to stop talking to myself, exposition be darned."
Nice. Like the way you turned Clyde's comment into sort of a Chekhov's Gun/Brick Joke.