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Anom's Super Mega Egg Run
Anomalocaris 20

[table of contents]
Chapter 1: Welcome to the World of Pokemon!

???

???: "Hi there! Welcome to the world of Pokemon!"

"...Huh?"

???: "My name is Professor Juniper. Everyone calls me the Pickymon Professor!"

"Thanks. But I should be going."

Juniper: "STAY. That's right! This world is widely inhabited by mysterious creatures called Pogeymenz! Porkymons have mysterious powers. They come in many shapes and live in many different places. We humans ENSLAVE AND TORMENT and live happily with Poker Man! Living and working together, we complement each other. We help each other out to accomplish difficult tasks LIKE OPENING PICKLE JARS. Having Professor Oak-emon battle one another is particularly popular AND CATHARTIC, and it deepens the bonds between people and Polka Mon. And that is why I research Pikmin. Well, that's enough from me... Could you tell me about yourself?"

"Uh..."

Juniper: "Are you a boy? Or a girl? OR NEITHER OR BOTH?!"

"...If you looked at my chin, you'd see I have a bit of a beard. That should be a pretty clear indication."

Juniper: "You're a girl, right? I'd like to know your name. Please tell me."

"Uh, I'm not-"

Juniper: "UH I'M NOT' IS NOT A NAME!!!"

"Eep! My name is Anthony!"

Juniper: "Your name is Anthony? YOU'RE LUCKY THAT IS ONLY 7 LETTERS. MY ATTENTION SPAN IS TOO SHORT TO REMEMBER NAMES LONGER THAN THAT UNLESS THEY'RE A POKEMON IN WHICH CASE THE LIMIT IS 10! So your name's Anthony. What a HORRIBLE name! Well then. I'm going to introduce you to your two best friends!"

"I don't-"

Juniper: "This young man is Cheren. He can be a little difficult, but he's a very honest person. HE STOLE WHITNEY'S SHIRT AND IS WEARING IT NOW. WHAT A PERVERT. This young woman is Bianca. She's a little flighty, but she works very hard. I think you three have potential, so I'm going to give you a very, very important Porky Minch. Anthony! The moment you choose the Pogo Monkey that will accompany you on your journey, your story will truly begin. During your journey, you will meet many Pocket Mimes and people with different personalities and points of view! I really hope you find what is important to you in all of these travels... NOT. That's right! Befriend new people and Nomekop and grow as a person! That is the most important goal for your journey! Let's go visit the world of Poking Moms!"

"Leave me alone..."

And thus begins... Pokemon Black Version: The Egg Run!


Author's note: Bluh, "evil" markup doesn't work here... Red will have to suffice. Also, actual game will begin next chapter, though I won't get the eggs until a little later.
4th Feb '12 11:34:38 PM flag for mods
comments
You had no idea how much this made me lol
PippingFool 4th Feb 12
...

I love you.

Platonically, of course.
pyr0h1tman8 4th Feb 12
I love you too.

Not platonically, either. KISS ME, YOU FOOL!
...But seriously, this is awesome. :) Keep up the good work~!
Slouch 4th Feb 12
Added COLORS.
Anomalocaris20 4th Feb 12 (edited by: Anomalocaris20)
Two things:

1. Evil Juniper should be canon.

2. I thought that Nomekop was a reference to that one episode from Jackie Chan Adventures (with a toy called Gnomekop) before realizing that it was Pokemon spelled backwards. >_<
Hobgoblin 5th Feb 12
Well, this is one of the best parodies of anything I've ever read. Good job!
Pulse 5th Feb 12
I'm honestly amazed you came up with so many different variations of Pokemon.
Alfric 5th Feb 12
This is brilliant.
memyselfandI2 5th Feb 12
Wow. Just...Wow. If there happened to be a text hack of Red like this, I'd have to play it.
Malgent 5th Feb 12
So, many, variations, of, "Pokémon". @_@
Sixthhokage1 5th Mar 12
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