Let's Read This Crud Again! Blue Shadows MSTing (for real this time!)

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The Hurting Begins

I promised I would do another update soon, so, here I am! Welcome back to the worst Sonic fanfic in ever.
BLUE SHADOWS A Conor T. Hedgehog story
'Story' being used very lightly, I'm sure.
All rights to Sega and Sonic team while Conor and non-characters belong to me while Brad and Tammy belong to Yoshi 2.1 and Brad159357. Chapter 2 Wake up

Conor sat lying on a bed he couldn't open his eyes his ears twitched as he heard a noise people entered the room. Who's the dead guy? said the a boys voice.
Really, author? 'the a boys'? Not only is it a mistake, it sounds like a really crappy music group name!
He's not dead said a girls voice
I know. It's a tragedy, ain't it?
. I know him he's not dead not at all said a woman's voice.
Oh, so, NOW you use an astrophe? God damn you and your inconsistent writing!
Well I just need to run some tests to see if it worked and he's not brain dead said a male voice.
This must be somewhere other than Robotro—sorry, Conor story—'Station Square' (God, seriously, pick a canon and stick with it!) because after the last story, you'd have to be insane to help the guy who, you know, TRIED TO TAKE OVER AND PRETTY MUCH KILL ANYONE WHO SO MUCH AS LOOKED AT HIM FUNNY.
Conor felt a hand on his chest then someone opened his eye lid and shinnied a light immediately Conor jumped up and grabbed the person choking him.
The writing of this sentence gives the impression that the person is choking Conor, not the other way around. Actually, just a thought, doesn't Conor have two 'n's? As in, Connor? I dunno...
Your alive said a voice Conors vision was blurry and could barely see Conor let him go you're hurting him said the voice. Conor could make out that he was chocking Tails he let him go and Tails fell to the floor coughing.
Conor turned his head and could clearly see Fiona standing in front to him he pulled her into a kiss before looking around he saw a fox and a hedgehog looking at him. Baby who's the kids? Eh who's this guy and why did he kiss you? Said boy hedgehog. Eh can you give me a minute wait outside please Fiona said.
Lotta eh's all of a sudden. Is everyone suddenly trying (miserably) to be Canadian?
Fiona who are they? Conor said. Sit down Fiona said this might be a bit of a shock.
Two guesses on the twist, viewers.

BLUE SHADOWS A Conor T. Hedgehog story All rights to Sega and Sonic team while Conor and non-characters belong to me while Brad and Tammy belong to Yoshi 2.1 and Brad159357. Chapter 3 Naomi And Sean

Conors jaw could have dropped to the ground.
So obvious, the author doesn't even have her say it. Either that or he's an idiot and he forgot. I prefer to believe in the latter.
Your shitting me Conor said looking at Fiona. I'm deadly serious Fiona said. You all right? Its a lot to take in I mean I'm dead like what 2…3 years Conor said. Eh… 15 actually Fiona said.
Which makes Tails helping him make even LESS sense. Let's work on the assumption Tails remembers Conor, ok? So, if he does and he didn't revert back to a good guy but pretended to or something, then, wouldn't he end up fitting back in with the group after 15years anyway? My brain can't take this...
Conor looked at her he looked like he was about to explode. 15 years oh man Conor said putting his head in his arms. He quickly looked up at Fiona. Fiona why didn't you say I'm naked? Conor said. You looked really attractive so I kept silent Fiona said blushing a bit. Great so my kids see me naked and kissing you brilliant Conor said face palming himself.
That's not all they'll get of you. Oh, you think I'm kidding? Well, we'll see, won't we?
Well I have your clothes here Fiona said placing them on the bed get dress and lets introduce you to the kids. Conor got dressed he put on his black jeans his black shirts and checkered tie he grabbed his shades and put them on. God I love me Conor said admiring himself in the mirror.
This guy is such a fucking ass, swear to God.
Darling the kids are waiting Fiona said. Conor stepped over to the door and stepped out immediately he was met by a punch. Who the hell do you think you are kissing my mom the hedgehog said. Sean! Fiona shouted.
His first response is to punch Conor? I love this kid already. Best character of the fic so far.
Wow your my son alright Conor said fixing his glasses. What did you say said the fox stepping forward. I said I'm your father Conor said looking at her. I knew it your our dad She said hugging him. Naomi get off him he's not our dad Sean said. Sean this is our dad Naomi said looking at him.
She accepted that fact a bit fast.
No Tails is our dad Sean said looking at her then Conor. Conor looked at Tails he clenched his left fist making his knuckles crack. The kids needed a father Conor I just watched over them I never did anything else Tails said. Conor looked at Fiona. Its true they needed a dad Tails just stepped in Fiona said looking down at her shoes. Well then Sean pleased to meet you Conor said extending his right hand. Sean took a step back when he saw Conors robotic hand. Scared I don't blame you Conor said he held out his left hand but Sean just looked at him. Conor looked at Sean he had Sky Blue just like Fiona he wore a t shirt with trousers and shoes like Sonics only the colours were Black and white, his hair was brown like Fiona's and he wore a watch on his wrist.
Aaaand, respect lost. For both being an apparent semi-recolour of Sonic (in terms of shoes) and for being scared of Conor's robot arm (oh, sorry, it's apparently just his hand now).
Well I'm Naomi what's your name dad? She said. Conor looked at her she was a fox wearing a loose shirt and torn jeans she had a streak of blue going through her hair and Conor noticed she had Dark Blue eyes like his own. Conor. Conor T. Hedgehog he said with a small bow. The monster who took over Acorn Castle 15 years ago Sean said. Yeah that's me Conor said with a smile. No way that's so cool we read about you in history class I really admire your work dad Naomi said with a grin.
Uh-buh, it ju-, bu-WHA?! Okay, so, FIRST Conor is apparently proud of being such a phenomonal asshole that he's a historic figure in Mobius and his daughter is also really happy with that. Like...father like daughter, I guess?
That's a little dark for a girl your age Conor said. Well I'm not like other girls with all that boy crap Naomi said crossing her arms.
So, what, are tomboys popular in Mobius? And also not the same as actual tomboys? What? I don't know, this writing is so God damn confusing.
Your my Daughter alright Conor said giving her a hug. So then Sean let's sit down and just talk for a bit Conor said. Back off you freak Sean said. Fiona walked over to him and pulled his ear. That's your father you're speaking to show some respect Fiona said pissed. Eh… Fiona that's not gona get me anywhere Conor said. Well it's great to finally meet you dad Naomi said hugging him Fiona walked over and joined in. Oh that's just so touching said a voice. And you are? Conor said looking at the figure sitting down watching his every move. Names Brad he got up and walked over to Conor so you're the corpse I helped rescue.
It's a new fan character, Brad the...I don't know, because he wasn't even described. We just know he's Brad. All we know is that the name he is associated with is Brad. He could be a sentient spoon for all we know.
Thanks a lot Conor said slowly. Conor this is my good friend Brad he joined with us a few years back and he's trust worthy believe me Fiona said. Fine… Conor said. Brad put out his hand for a shake Conor put out his right hand and shook. Well looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other then Brad said sitting down. Ok Fiona bring me up to speed what's going on with everyone Conor said walking over to the fireplace. Why don't you ask them yourself Sonics holding a party at his house later on tonight and I've been invited Fiona said. Conor pulled his Magnum and Desert Eagle from over the mantel piece. Time for some fun then Conor said with a smile. Conor look I've finally been able to talk to the others they never forgave us until about a month ago let's not go in guns blazing we could be able to fix what was broken all those years ago Fiona said.
Conor? Not go in guns blazing? Yeah. THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
Hmm… I'll think it over who's gona be there? Conor said sliding back the barrel of the Desert Eagle. Everyone from last time and a few others Fiona said. Conor spun both guns on his fingers he flicked the Desert Eagle over his left arm and caught it while throwing his Magnum into his holster Conor put the Desert Eagle into the left holster and smilied.

Whats gona happen next only time shall tell
It'll be retarded in any case, however. Well, that's it for this update, join me next time for more Blue Shadows!


I'm a big fan of bad fanfics/trollfics, and this one has a wonderful feel to it. The complete absence of quotation marks and most punctuation makes it even better.

Also: It took exactly 14 years and 11 months for the rest of the world to forgive Conor? It's just too convenient, man.

Also also: Did you notice that there were some literary tics in this story? "Your my _____ alright" is repeated, word-for-word including errors. This guy has a habit of capitalizing words just for being nouns.
Jergling 18th Jan 12
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