Third Time Is Not the Charm! Rika Liveblogs The Prayer Warriors: Threat of Satanic Communism!
Part 6: Anticlimatic Fights Against the Big Bad? Why Didn't You Say So?
Forgive me for the small installments. Which, by the way, consists of nothing but...well, less plot. Why even try to cover such small...stuff like this?
However, it is my duty to liveblog this. I have no one to blame but myself. The good news is, we have three installments left after this.
So let's go on with...
"If not one gives me a good review, then I will end my life by shotting myself with my father's .10 shot gun."
Remember me making all those statements about the author wanting to commit suicide during this story? This is that statement.
Yes, because we made such bad reviews, he wants to end his life.
...I probably said this before. I'm going to say this again. Catholics forbid suicide. I mean...wow
. Just wow. And to think, Thomas can't sink any lower.
And for any of those in the crowd who has thought of suicide, I am so, so sorry.
We cut back to the plot. Percy and Ebony look around and find an assorted variety of people. But out of all those? The African-Europeans, I guess (in the story, they're just Blacks), have a better shot of converting to Christianity. The rest, which include Indians, Asians, and a few more (albeit godless) African-Europeans? DEATH.
Yep, these guys make Adolf Hitler look more sympathetic in comparison. And Hitler was a nasty piece of work himself. And I can't believe that I compared two monsters
; if you'll excuse me for a bit, I have to take a shower to cleanse myself.
Upon seeing white Christian men, Percy announces about how the southern section has great Christian leaders in hiding. As he and Ebony move forward...oh, come on
, seriously? A man tries to rape her. But since she was going to get raped, Percy decides that she's cursed and should die. And he kills both the rapist and Ebony.
If any of you guys out there who have been raped is reading this shit, I am so, so sorry. This...like in The Evil Gods: Part 1
, this is deplorable. This is not
how you deal with rape victims!
And the worst part is? It contradicts their fucked-up way of thinking in the first story. Where a girl was crying out for help because she was going to get raped, and the Prayer Assholes save her...and it's said that since she screamed, she didn't like it and won't get offed. If she did, then she'd get stoned to death. Here? No matter if you're screaming for help, no, you're still going to die!
This story pisses me off in so many ways. So. Many. Ways. Thomas Brown, I hope you realize how fucking offensive
you made this to virtually everyone in the world.
And we reached the bottom of the barrel for offensiveness.
...and the absolute worst part? What do you want to bet that this death will not stick at all? Making it totally pointless?
Percy, not even bothering to mourn for Ebony and wonder what the fuck he did, heads to where the church leaders are hidden, and they talk about the plan to attack John Lennon (Vladimir Lenin, you uneducated asshat). Then Claire enters, telling him that she'll follow him. And so does Ebony. Despite the fact that she was killed off.
...three fucking paragraphs, we find out that she survived! A round of applause, everyone!
Then Grover shows up as well, saying that tonight's the best night to stop Lenin (no, I don't care if I "misspelt" it) and the evil
Communism. The story ends with Percy being happy with the group's support.
Oh, and by the way? It should be noted that Thomas did not actually go through with the suicide plan. Still, to make a statement to kill yourself if you don't get one good review...? You should be ashamed of yourself, Thomas.
The POV focuses now on Jerry, who is continuing his story. Well, duh
. You had a plan.
In the coliseum, John Lennon (uuuuugh) greets the oncoming Prayer Warriors by showing them some Christian men being nailed to corpses (once again, ewwwwww
) and setting them alight. For once, Jerry shares the same sentiments I had...except for the "swallowing the vomit" thing. Double ew.
Ebony asks Jerry if she can pray for Annabeth, and Jerry says "yes". You know, I don't think that really required a question. Just freaking do it!
So she prays that Annabeth does a good fight, and they sit down. Enter Annabeth, clad in black armor and...allowing her hair to flow freely. Okay, nothing too "Satanic"—oh, wait, part of her armor's a bra.
Wow, just...wow. (headdesks)
Enter John Lennon, clad in purple. Which, by the way, is a Satanic color, according to the author. Seriously, purple is a...what?
Annabeth sees her opponent, a Satanic woman who is...
- Clad in a bra like her.
- Sporting many tattoos and piercings.
- A slut, as she probably had sex with many men.
- A Satanic bitch.
The two fight, and many people jeer at Annabeth, trying to distract her. One of them shouts out that she probably had sex with her priest. And then...the nameless woman slits Annabeth's throat, killing her.
For once in their life, the Prayer Warriors lost.
...excuse me for the risk of sounding like an asshole. YES! YES! THE FUCKING PRAYER BITCH IS DEAD!! AND THE PRAYER FUCKMORONS WILL LOSE THIS TIME!
Sorry, but you know what? Like most of you, I am sick and tired
of those "heroes" winning. It's time for them to get their just desserts. And again? Even if they did lose, it doesn't change anything. The Bolsheviks/Communist Party will go down eventually, anyway.
But then...someone shoots the Satanic Warrior! A woman points the gun to Lennon, declaring that he must die! Who is it? Mary. Jerry's wife.
You know, this would
have been a Crowning Moment of Awesome if—if
—the stories and chapters before this didn't involve any of the following...
- The rule in which all women must follow their husbands/fathers, and they don't have a voice for their own.
- The decrying of feminism and how women must be put in their places.
- Mary's utter stupidity overall, following whatever Jerry has to say (which, admittedly, falls under #1).
- How fucking inconsistent the women's fighting skills are. We know how powerful the Prayer Warriors are, so it's baffling to see a few females falling or getting captured. It's one of those things that makes you go, "huh?" And not in a good way, either.
- The overall theme of sexism, about how women can't be equal to men.
All these rules utterly destroy
this scene. And by the way? One more thing. Mary wasn't even stated in the story, so this whole thing feels more like a Deus ex Machina. Granted, we all know about how that works out with the Prayer Warriors, but FUCKING DAMN.
This is the most blatant example of this ever.
But...this ends the installment. Excuse me while I go get a freaking drink.
Awaken that soul on the next liveblogging of The Prayer Warriors: Threat of Satanic Communism!