Introduction

Some time ago, just when liveblogs were starting to become a thing (well before the existence of the liveblog section of the site, even before there was a liveblog subforum; this is back when liveblogs were posted on forum threads within the relevant media subforum), I wrote a fairly well-received liveblog of A Game of Thrones. I had intended to repost that here, but unfortunately it seems to have been lost to the aether.

So, instead, I'm going to try and summarise as much of the first book as I can remember, and then start blogging A Clash of Kings. Summary follows, but first a couple of rules.

1. Since this is a liveblog, there will be spoilers. If you haven't read the book, click back now. You have been warned.
2. However, I wish to avoid being spoiled, and so I ask that comments concerning events that occur after the most recently-posted chapter be made in spoiler tags. Vague implications of future events are fine (stuff like "Oh man, you have no idea how much this is going to screw things up!" or "I'd forgotten what an idiot Sansa started off as"), but for actual events and plot points (such as "Don't worry, things get a lot happier when Eddard shags Jaime"), please use the spoiler markup.
3. Clarifications to mistakes and misunderstandings I make are welcome, provided they are not spoilers.

Setting

The series takes place on a world where, for as yet unexplained reasons, seasons last for years. The length of a season does not seem to be regular; I remember a few references in the first book to summers being longer and shorter at different times, and the handmaid to one of the characters told a story involving a winter that lasted for a generation, but this is likely to be an exaggerated folk memory of a winter that just happened to be unusually long.

The bulk of the action takes place in the Seven Kingdoms, which is halfway between a kingdom and an empire, and is about the size of Britain. The Seven Kingdoms apparently has 12,000 years of recorded history, though commentators on my liveblog of the first book assured me that we later see the historical record is full of holes and contradictions.

The Seven Kingdoms originally did indeed consist of seven kingdoms, but five of them were conquered by the Targaryen dynasty, rulers of what was then the country in the centre (can't remember the name). The seventh kingdom, Dorne, merged with the pseudo-empire when its queen married the king of what was until then the Six Kingdoms.

The ruler of the Seven Kingdoms sits on the Iron Throne, a throne made of iron that is specifically designed to be uncomfortable. The idea is that a king must never grow complacent. The king has a personal bodyguard, called the Kingsguard, who dress all in white and who are sworn to protect the king, regardless of who he may be.

The most northerly part of the realm, The Barrowlands, has a big-ass wall at its most northerly point. Beyond the wall live pseudo-Celtic barbarians, though there are also some Celtic influences within the Barrowlands, as evidenced by mentions of crannógaí. There are also zombies beyond the wall, and apparently fairies as well.

The Wall is guarded by the Night's Watch (no, not [[Night Watch that one]]), a group of men who dress all in black and are supposed to refrain from sexual intercourse; naturally enough, not one of them obeys this last restriction. The Night's Watch are sworn to protect the kingdom; while they will honour the king, they do not owe him allegiance, and will take no part in civil wars or courtly intrigue. They do not care who runs the country as long as there is a country to protect. They consist primarily of the dregs of society, criminals looking to escape imprisonment, death, or mutilation; the least evil are either imcompetent layabouts like Sam Tarly, or noble (in its original sense) bastards (also in its original sense) like Jon Snow.

Across the ocean there is another continent, based on Asia. It has Mongols called Dothraki in it, who in my blog of the first book I kept finding fault with.

Giants used to exist, and some interbred with humans.

Dragons were used extensively by House Targaryen and their armies in military operations; the ability to control dragons gave them unparallelled power. However, dragons went extinct some time ago, though are brought back at the very end of the first book.

Direwolves are not extinct, and are still seen occasionally in the Barrowlands.

In all other respects, the Seven Kingdoms is closely modelled on medieval Britain. Arranged marriages are the norm amongst the nobility; we have yet to see what arrangements the peasants make. Marriage is often carries out at the age of 13. It is standard practice for noble children to spend some time in fostership at the seat of another House in order to nurture inter-family alliances and connections.

Incest is rather more common that it was in the Middle Ages, and rape is also rather unpleasantly common.

Bastards are common, but are not permitted to inherit land, property, or titles from their parents. Many turn to thievery or the Night's Watch, though a few manage to find apprenticeships where they can earn a living. Apparently, all bastards must be given a surname related to the dominant climate of the province from which they hale; thus, bastards from the Barrowlands get the surname Snow, while those from Dorne are appelled Sand.

Some time before the series began, Eddard "Ned" Stark and Robert Baratheon were both fostered at the Eyrie, seat of House Arynn and capital of the Vale of Arynn, one of the kingdoms that became part of the Seven Kingdoms. While there, they and Jon, patriarch of House Arynn, hatched a plan to seize power. The Arynns, Baratheons, and Starks united their forces and attacked King's Landing, capital of the Seven Kingdoms and seat of the ruling House Targaryen.

A civil war erupted, during which King Aerys II was killed by Jaime Lannister, then captain of the Kingsguard, which earned him the rather unkind nickname Kingslayer. Jaime apparently intended to seize the Iron Throne for himself, but gave it up to Robert Baratheon when Eddard beat him in a high-stakes staring contest. The surviving Targaryens, prince Viserys and princess Daenerys, were exiled to that other continent I mentioned above. Robert took the throne, while Eddard returned to rule the Barrowlands with somewhat more autonomy than Robert granted the other Great Houses.

Characters

House Stark and related characters

Motto

Winter is coming.

Symbol

A direwolf.

Eddard (RIP)

The most honourable and good character in the book, who always tries to do the right thing even when doing bad is far more pragmatic; this often causes trouble for him, and eventually leads to his death. Also, some of his noble actions have unpleasant consequences for others.

Catelyn (née Tully)

Wife of Eddard. Loves her family, though hates Jon.

Jon Snow

Bastard son of Eddard and a woman he happened to shag during Robert's Rebellion, eldest of Eddard's children. Currently a member of the Night's Watch, and starting to develop into an unofficial leader among the rank-and-file members. Snarky, independant, badass and awesome, though does resent not being viewed as a true person due to his parentage. In case you can't guess, he's my favourite character. Has a very large, well-trained but absolutely lethal albino direwolf called Ghost.

Robb

First son of Eddard by Catelyn, and destined to inherit his father's land. Is as heroic and honourable as his father, though inexperienced at ruling. We never get a chapter from his point of view, which I think was a deliberate choice on the part of Martin. Has a direwolf called Grey Wind. Also has a woman from beyond the wall attached to him. Bethrothed to his choice of Walder Frey's daughters.

Arya

Second of Eddard and Catelyn's children. She is a {{rebellious princess}} who was given a sword by Jon, and who is secretly receiving lessons courtesy of Eddard from a guy who is officially her dance instructor. Had a direwolf called Nymeria, named after a legendary queen of Dorne, who she had to send away after Cersei got snippy.

Sansa

Third child of Eddard and Catelyn. Thinks she's a fairy tale princess. Well, she got the princess part right. Consistently refers to Jon as her half-brother, though the other Starks kids consider him a full member of the family. Had a direwolf called Lady, who Eddard had to kill after Cersei got snippy. Bethrothed to Joffrey Lannister.

Bran

Fourth of Catelyn's children by Eddard. Named after the legendary founder of the Stark family, who is said to have built the Wall. Currently unable to walk after Jaime defenestrated him. A rather nice young lad. Has a direwolf called Summer.

Rickon

A toddler, and the youngest of Eddard and Catelyn's children. Has a direwolf called Shagydog.

Hodor

A retard who works in the Starks' stables. A good friend of Bran.

Theon Greyjoy

A guy attached to the Stark family. Not a happy camper.

House Baratheon

Motto

(I forget)

Symbol

A stag.

Robert (RIP)

Was ruler of the Seven Kingdoms after the overthrow of the Targaryens. Was set to marry Eddard's sister, but she died, so he married Cersei Lannister instead to avoid a second civil war. However, he never got over the death of his first love, and descended into alcoholism and sleeping around. Has only gotten his penis into Cersei's vagina twice, though he thinks he's done it more often. Leaves the actual running of the country to people more competent than he is. Died in a hunting accident, leading to a succession crisis.

Cersei (née Lannister)

Wife of Robert, and queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Engaged in an incestuous relationship with Jaime. All-round evil bitch.

Joffrey

Eldest of Cersei's children. The father is believed to be Robert, but it's actually Jaime. Jerkass.

Myrcella

Another of Cersei and Jaime's children, believed to be the daughter of Robert.

Tommen

Youngest of Cersei and Jaime's children, though is believed to be the son of Cersei by Robert.

Stannis

Younger brother of Robert. Even more honourable and duty-bound than Eddard.

Renly

Younger brother of Robert and Stannis. As far as I remember, he was just mentioned in the first book, but apparently would make a far better king than Stannis.

House Lannister

Official motto

Hear me roar

Unofficial motto

A Lannister always pays his debts.

Symbol

A lion.

Tywin

Patriarch of the family. Rich asshole.

Jaime

Former commander of the Kingsguard, I think currently the captive of the Starks. Half-identical twin brother to Cersei, with whom he is engaged in an incestuous relationship. Asshat, but apparently is nice to Tyrion.

Cersei Baratheon

Wife of Robert, and queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Engaged in an incestuous relationship with Jaime. All-round evil bitch.

Tyrion

An awesome, sarcastic, sharp-tongued, snarky, hold-no-punches little person. Is the most popular character in the series despite [[Flame Bait Jon Snow being slightly more awesome]]. Unfortunately, when Tyrion and Jon are together, their awesomeness cancels out and both descend into angst. Still, when he can stay away from Jon, Tyrion absolutely funting rocks.

House Arynn and related characters

Motto

As high as honor (sic)

Symbol

Moon and falcon

Jon (RIP)

Patriarch of the family, and the instigator of Robert's Rebellion. Discovered that the children by Cersei were fathered by Jaime and not Robert; hence, poisones by Cersei. Eddard managed to figure out what Jon had derived, but was killed before he could expose the secret. His marriage was apparently loveless.

Lysa (née Tully)

Wife of Jon, mother of Robert-chan, sister of Catelyn. A frail and strained woman who constantly lashes out at people. [[My Beloved Smother Is disturbingly close to Robert-chan]].

Robert

Only son of Jon and Lysa. Astounding wimp. Well able to talk, but still breastfeeding. Named after Robert Baratheon; for clarity, I refer to this one as Robert-chan.

House Tully

Motto

Family, Duty, Honor (sic)

Symbol

A trout

Hoster

Patriarch of the family. Is a good person, but ineffectual and weak compared to the liked of Eddard Stark.

Catelyn Stark

Wife of Eddard. Loves her family, though hates Jon Snow.

Lysa Arynn

Wife of Jon, mother of Robert-chan, sister of Catelyn. A frail and strained woman who constantly lashes out at people. [[My Beloved Smother Is disturbingly close to Robert-chan]].

Edmure

Eldest son of Hoster and his wife. Also a good person, but even weaker and less effectual than Hoster. The Internet suggests he will have a rather unpleasant wedding in the future. According to several comments on my previous liveblog, quite a lot of bad stuff will happen to him in the future.

House Targaryen and related characters

Daenerys

Youngest surviving member of the original ruling dynasty. Married to Drogo, a khal (khan) of the Dothraki, by Viserys in the hope of using the Dothraki to reconquer the Seven Kingdoms. As of the end of book 1, is in possession of three baby dragons and has secured the personal loyalty of three Dothraki warriors. Prophesied to give birth to Genghis Khan. Unpleasantly mary suish.

Viserys (RIP)

Daenerys' older brother. Killed by Khal Drogo, who dumped a pot of liquid gold on his head. A douchebag.

Khal Drogo (RIP)

Daenerys' late husband, who died in battle got resurrected as a retard, and who was then killed again by Daenerys. All but three of the Dothraki then abandoned Daenerys.

Jorah Mormont

A knight who was exiled by Eddard Stark for the crime of stealing food to feed his starving family. Wants revenge, but is for the most part a good man. Once looked down on the Dothraki, but has since come to respect and admire them. He is the only character in not-Asia so far to wear armour into battle.

A healer

Right, there's this one pacifist woman Daenerys met whose relgion resembles Nestorian Christianity. She has access to black magic, and used it to resurrect Drogo. For the life of me, I can't remember her name.

Other characters

Szandor Clegane

A knight with some giant ancestry, in service of the Lannisters. One of the few characters in all of fiction to truly deserve the moniker of Complete Monster.

Gregor Clegane

Szandor's little brother, who is also part-giant. Horribly scarred due to Szandor being that much of an evil monster; his entire purpose in life is to kill Szandor. Brutally cynical, but seems to find Sansa's innocence amusing.

Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish

A manipulative jerkoff based on Niccolo Machiavelli. Obsessed with Catelyn.

Walder Frey

Lord of an important river crossing who supports the Starks in exchange for their helping him expand his power and influence. A firm believer in Screw Politeness I Am A Senior.

Samwise Tarly

A fat layabout bundled off to the Night's Watch, currently in training to become a maester (which is what priests are called in the Seven Kingdoms, for some reason).

Jeyne Poole

A friend of Sansa's, who also thinks she's a fairy tale princess.

Summary

A Game of Thrones contains three mostly self-contained subplots.

Main plot

The main story begins when Eddard takes his sons along to see him executing a deserter from the Night's Watch, who was actually fleeing zombies. On the way back, they come across six baby direwolves whose mother had recently died, and Eddard decides to give one to each of his children.

Catelyn gets a secret message from Lysa warning her that Cersei killed Jon Arynn, and has it in for Eddard next.

The Baratheons and some of the Lannisters pay the Starks a visit. At this time, Sansa is bethrothed to Joffrey. Robert asks Eddard to become the Hand of the King, who is the person charged with running the country while the king is off enjoying himself; Eddardl, hoping to investigate Jon's murder, reluctantly accepts.

The men go out on a hunt, but Jaime stays behind to shag Cersei. Bran, while climbing on the castle battlements, sees them going at it, so Jaime throws him out the window. Bran survives, but spends a few weeks in a coma, and emerges crippled. This all sends Catelyn into a spiral of depression. Jon decides to join the Night's Watch, and gives Arya a sword as a parting gift.

Eddard sets off with Robert's retinue for King's Landing, bringing Arya, Sansa, and their direwolves with him. Some stuff happens, and so Eddard is forced to kill Lady, and Arya has to drive Nymeria off into the woods.

At the capital, Sansa moons over Joffrey while Eddard hires Arya a 'dance intructor', whose role is actually to teach her to use that sword. Robert decides to hold a tournament to honour the arrival of his old friend, despite Eddard's protests that he should be more prudent with his money.

Meanwhile, Bran awakens from his coma, cheering Catelyn up. Bran manages to adjust to cripple life quite well, thanks to the help of Robb, Hodor, and Theon. Bran at this point has amnesia about what he saw just before his coma. While out for a ride (Bran has a special saddle), the lads are attacked by some people from north of the Wall, who are fleeing zombies. Robb and Theon kill most of them, and one of their women declares herself a permanent maid/wife/something or other to Robb, because she (quite rightly, in fairness) thinks he's awesome.

Catelyn sets off for King's Landing, intending to surprise Eddard. She faces some trouble en route courtesy of Jaime, but manages to arrive safely and takes refuge with Littlefinger.

Eddard begins looking into Cersei and 'Robert's' children, based on some vague rumours he heard. Jaime makes an attempt on his life, but he survives. Meanwhile, Robert hears that Daenerys is up to something, and puts a bounty on her head.

However, Robert suffers a serious injury in a hunting accident, and dies. On his deathbed, he regrets a lot of the decisions he's made, and calls off the hunt for Daenerys, wanting her to live in peace. Unfortunately, everyone forgets to write down that particular request.

King's Landing erupts in a turmoil, and Catelyn flees to the Eyrie. Somehow, Tyrion is blamed for the assassination attempt on Eddard, and is imprisoned by Lysa. Tyrion insists on trial by champion, from which he emerges victorious after choosing a particularly good proxy. Lysa is not pleased. Catelyn returns to Winterfell.

Eddard discovers that the father of 'Robert's' children is actually Jaime, making Joffrey a bastard an thus ineligible for the throne. For the moment, he keeps this to himself. In consultation with the other members of Robert's court, Eddard decides to support Stannis' claim to the throne on account of he has a right to it. The others argue he should support the more popular and capable Renly, but Eddard is having none of this.

Meanwhile, Lannister agents conspire to keep the truth of Cersei's children under wraps.

Eddard, thinking it is the right thing to do, confronts Cersei about his discoveries and offers he the chance to flee, dooming himself.

War breaks out between supporters of Stannis, Renly, and Joffrey. The Starks fight for Stannis' side, and ally with the Freys to defeat the Lannister army led by Jaime. The Starks win, and Jaime is taken captive.

However, Joffrey's faction is ultimately victorious in the war, and Eddard is beheaded on trumped-up charges of treason. Arya witnesses this, and the last we see of her is being grabbed from behind by a mysterious figure.

Up north, Robb inherits Eddard's lands. His subjects, looking at the situation in the south, say "Bugger that!" and announce their own kingdom.

This is the end of the main plot.

The Jon plot

This plot is actually the first to begin, when three scouts from the Night's Watch encounter some zombies. Two are eaten, and the third is beheaded by Eddard for desertion.

At the feast, Jon is exposed to Tyrion, which causes his natural awesomeness to decay into angst. He decides that the Night's Watch is the best and most honourable position he can attain as a bastard, and sets off to sign up.

There, his privileged upbringing allows him to provide private lessons in swordsmanship to the other new recruits who can't keep up with their instructor's pace. This leads him to become an unofficial leader among the recent arrivals.

Sam joins the Watch after some time, and royally sucks at everything. When the senior members begin outright abusing Sam, Jon and the others threaten to feed him to Ghost. A while after that, Jon notices that Sam can read, and arranges for him to be apprenticed to the local maester.

When word of the war in the south reaches the Wall, Jon tries to ride off and support Eddard, but the other members impress upon him that his duty is now to the Wall, and that the affairs of nobles are none of his concern.

Also, there is a zombie at one point.

This is the end of the Jon plot.

The Daenerys plot

Viserys arranges for Daenerys to marry Khal Drogo. Daenerys is initially reluctant to marry someone other than her brother, but quickly adapts to Dothraki life, and even finds herself enjoying aspects of it. Meanwhile, Viserys is a whiny brat all the time, so Drogo kills him.

By the way, Daenerys gets three dragon eggs as a wedding present. Jorah, who is living among the Dothraki, declares his loyalty to her in order to get revenge on Eddard, and also acts to help her get accustomed to Dothraki culture.

Drogo and Daenerys have sex just once. Daenerys is prophesied to give birth to someone called the Stallion that Mounts the World and the Prince Who Was Promised, both of which seem to be Dothraki for Genghis Khan.

While travelling, Daenerys takes in a shepherd woman who is very kind and gentle, and who knows black magic, over the protests of the Dothraki.

Drogo is killed in battle, and Daenerys has the shepherd lady resurrect him. Soemthing goes wrong, and Drogo is revived in a permanent stupor, so Daenerys has to kill him again. All but three of the Dothraki then abandon her.

Despite not previously having wanted anything other than the cosy coastal house where she grew up, Daenerys now decides she wants to rule the Seven Kingdoms after all, despite not remembering a thing about it. She appoints the remaining three Dothraki and Jorah as her personal bodyguard, then makes a massive funeral pyre for Drogo. She also tosses the three dragon eggs on the pyre; the heat burns all her clothes off, and the dragons hatch, apparently imprinting on her.

This is the end of the Daenerys plot.

Predictions

Some things I expect to happen in book 2.

• When we first see Arya, she will be walking around quite independently. We will find out what happened to her at the end of book 1 in a flashback.
• Someone will eat ribs with a garlic and herb crust. (Seriously, is that Martin's favourite food or what?)
• A woman will get fingerbanged.
• I will find something to criticise about the Dothraki.
• Several named characters will die.

And, finally, I really hope that Daenerys is {{rescued from the scrappy heap}}. There is some cool stuff to her plot thread, but her specialness is rather too emphasised for my taste.

I'll start reading book 2 the evening I post this, so my fist chapter reviews should be up tomorrow. Please comment and let me know just how much I got wrong; I intentionally wrote the above description and summary entirely from memory, as I don't have book 1 with me, I don't want to be spoiled, and I want to see how I can enjoy the second book after a long time away from the series.