Hello. You might remember me from such liveblogs as the Opinionated Guide to Avatar: The Last Airbender, and its companion piece, the Opinionated Guide to The Last Airbender.
And now, I'm digging into Disney's Hercules
. AKA, that Disney movie that came out between The Hunchback of Notre Dame
. The former is something of a cult favorite for its dark imagery and excellent villain song. And the latter is a favorite for being awesome and involving a woman who actually does stuff.
But those are a matter for another time; this is about Disney's Hercules
. That's not technically it's title, but I refuse to call it just "Hercules," for fear that someone might actually mistake it for having some connection to Greek Mythology.
Before we begin, I'd like to talk about my personal connection to Greek Mythology.
I love it. I love the various Greek creation myths. Gaia and Uranus, Kronos and Rhea, Zues and Hera, all that good stuff. I love the Greek style of looking at natural forces as beings that aren't particularly nice or moral. I really don't know much about Hercules's tale. It's odd, but while I'm a fan of the general mythos, I just never spent much time with that particular tale. I was much more into the Iliad and the Odyssey.
I was really annoyed with Troy because they took out the involvement of the gods, which pretty much got rid of the good
part of the Iliad. I'm supposed to believe that Helen decided to go with Paris just because he's Orlando Bloom?
... OK, I can see where they're coming from there
, but still
Oh, and guess what one of my pet peeve tropes is? Yep: making Hades evil, just because he's in charge of dead people. Because taking care of the dead is obviously something that only an evil person would be responsible for.
But you know what? That doesn't matter. I went into this movie knowing all that. I knew about the villain Hades. I knew about how they retroactively made Hercules into Zues and Hera
's son. I knew full well that Disney was going to be about as respectful to Greek Mythology in this film as they were to the Native Americans in Pocahontas
. So it's not like any of this was a big surprise or something.
Therefore, I am going to restrain my rage at the liberties taken with my favorite mythos in this film. However, I do reserve the right to exactly one extended monologue on this subject
. Note that this promise does not extend to spontaneous snark; I freely reserve the right to snark about it. Just no long holding forth on how they ruined Greek Mythology forever or anything. Well, except for the previously mentioned once.