Correction from last chapter: Piper was with the others when they entered Catwalk Corridor. I just missed it due to me failing reading comprehension.
And speaking of failing, let's look at today's chapter.
It is completely unnecessary. We've already gotten several reveals about Modelland not being the paradise that it's advertised to be. Why do we need more evidence to get our characters to actually do something about the situation?
Oh, yeah. Because our protagonist has the proactivity of a damp washcloth.
Tookie gets scratched a couple times (once on the ankle and then on her mouth). She sneezes.
"Hey there, bigfoot." Something soft and furry brushed up against her leg.
Tookie gets hives and her throat itches and Piper realizes that the occupants of Catwalk Corridor are . . . cats! Any more insights for us, Sherlock?
And leave the bad puns to Xanth, Tyra.
So our "heroes" are being threatened by house cats with nail polish. I haven't felt emotions this intense since the last time I did laundry and realized I was missing a sock.
Again with the "it" for intelligent life forms. The cat just spoke in a female voice! And Tookie continues to call the cats "it", even though all of them are obviously female. And *spoiler* even after she learns that they're all actually human, she continues to call them "it."
That's like stripping in the middle of a crowded street and then complaining that people saw you.
Why? Just why? Why does this character exist? Why does this chapter exist? It isn't contributing anything worthwhile. It's just weirdness for the sake of being weird. This is not good storytelling!
A few dozen cats come out, and I pray that they put Tookie out of her misery. But Tookie makes a startling revelation.
Someone sign this girl up for MENSA.
The cat talks to Tookie and asks her to comb "it" because the cat is worried that her fur will look as bad as Tookie's hair. Then Tookie recognizes the cat's human face as belonging to someone we've never heard of before.
Could this exposition be any more awkward?
Piper gets backed into a wall by some "hairless sphynxes." One of them says that she needs some color and offers Piper a glowing green pill, saying it will make her skin "toasty and rich-colored."
Somehow Tyra got the idea that everyone from Iceland acts like a Chihuahua on speed. Where she got that idea is probably better left unexplored.
Awkward sentence structure, which is common in this book, is awkward.
"The repugnant, moronic, miniature midget is correct!" the Siamese jeered, the hair on her back standing on end. "Phara, the Princess of Verbal Barbarisms, Modelland magazine calls me."
Finally! One of the obviously female cats is referred to as something other than "it"! (Sadly, this is an anomaly.)
Oh, and it turns out that the cats are really Intoxibellas. Not that I care, mind you. After all, they've never been mentioned before, and I wouldn't be surprised if they're never mentioned again.
Zarpessa and Chaste enter, and one of the cats pees on Zarpessa to mark her territory.
Then Tookie sneezes and the cat with the glowing green pill offers it to Tookie, saying the only side effects are "a little fun." So the cat's either a date rapist or a drug dealer. Either way, that is severely messed up.
Then Daisy-Ellen and another Intoxibella-turned-cat named Donyelle argue over who gets Tookie's leg. Then they start fighting and end up on Tookie's head. How cartoony.
Piper and Tookie run down the corridor to escape the cats scratching them and to try and find Dylan. They reach the end of the corridor, where Shiraz, Zarpessa, and Chaste are standing there looking horrified. For the rest of this scene, keep in mind that the giant figure at the other end of the room will not notice them standing there even though they make zero effort to conceal themselves.
The cats are bowing to the figure in the darkness, like they were praying to it. The figure is a lion. But not just any lion. It's the BellaDonna!
So the people you turned into animals are acting like animals. I don't think you should be surprised by this.
The BellaDonna continues to give exposition to the Intoxi-cats, which they all already know. I guess she knew that protagonists would be eavesdropping on her and decided to make a show of it.
"And you, my despicable dears, are looking right at her."
Wait. Shouldn’t they all be dogs then? Or was the "catty" pun just too good to get rid of?
She then says that she's very disappointed, and that the curse won't be lifted from them until they change their "evil ways."
She tells them to get in their pens. The cat that bit Tookie then says that she "got a taste of your sweetness and wants more of your cream."
Ew.
Then the lion-donna opens her mouth wide, mouth dripping saliva and her tongue hangs out like a red carpet. Tookie decides the smart thing is to walk into the mouth so they can look for Dylan. Without hesitating or considering any other options. Everyone — including Zarpessa and Chaste — follow her.
Tookie is an idiot. And the others are all idiots for following her.
At the end of the throat is the dorms, and Tookie asks the question I've been thinking since I started reading this chapter.
Next chapter: Clumsy attempts to develop the girls' characters while they talk.
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