The Weirdest Teamup This Side of Trakeena's Revenge: Rika Liveblogs Pooh's Adventures of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie!
Part 8: Here Comes the Power Again
Welcome back to the insanity. We're now heading to the depths of madness, a place where people are lost and confused. A place where most men rage.
But enough about that, let's recap!
: Previously on Rika's livebloggening of Pooh's Adventures of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie...
...the Rangers and villains cross the Nemesis Triangle. However, Kimberly, Bulk, and Skull escaped, and Mistress Nine senses a dip in the energy pool. Also, I didn't even bother noticing that clip of Mistress Nine and Bowser talking, and all of a sudden, we saw a man in a split-second. Because if we are to list the problems in this movie, it would take a fucking while.
...honestly, after all of this bullshit (and the obligatory look-see of a Toku comment story), I'm thinking that I'd like to review something...a little less dumb. So in the spirit of Halloween, once I'm done with this, I'll review...ah...well, I'm possibly thinking of reviewing Casper Meets Wendy
. Though it doesn't mean that the other three liveblogs-in-progress are dead, just when I find some inspiration and the time to do them, I'll do them.
OH FUCK ME THOSE MORONS ARE GOING TO MAKE A POOH'S ADVENTURES OF CASPER MEETS WENDY?!
: ...I'm hungry. And I have a craving for sardines for some reason...
Oh. Here you go! Sorry, just had a raging moment. (gives Kitty!Carter a case of sardines, which he starts to eat
So let's dive right back into the madness with...
Part 8 of 11
We go back to where we left off: Kimberly waking up on the shores of the lost island. Suddenly, a group of warriors find her. But then, as Bulk and Skull...don't save Kimberly, another warrior group finds them.
Oh noes! What will our heroes do?
Hey, speaking of, we're back on the ship! Adam decides to take Desert Thunder to the top of a cliff in order to find the temple. And this is interspersed with scenes of Bulk and Skull trying to escape the natives.
Back at the lair, Divatox wonders just what in the hell the Rangers are riding on in order to go through the Nemesis Triangle. So she launches the torpedos at the ship. The other Rangers notice the oncoming torpedos, and they head to the Zords.
...and unfortunately, so do the other guys. Rabbit yells, "Run! Run! To the Zords!" Slimer...bounces off. And the others, I presume, aren't heading to the Zords.
So the torpedos hit the ship, causing it to explode. Adam is crestfallen, seeing his fellow Rangers' demise. And, notably, not giving a shit about the others. However, the Rangers make it out well with their Turbo Zords! HUZZAH—
: What do think, Justin?
OH FUCK ME, THOSE MORONS SURVIVED?!
Look. Normally, I don't usually want a character death unless if he or she truly deserves it. However, with Winnie and his friends being so much of The Load
in fights, taking credit when it doesn't belong to them, and being overall Too Dumb to Live
...they're such horrible protagonists here that you almost
want for them to be hit by the torpedos and not survive, leaving the Rangers to save the day, as it rightfully is.
Yes. This movie has sunken into so much depths of badness, especially with their survival, that I'm thinking horrible, horrible thoughts. As it is now, I'm afraid I'll have to say the one thing that's on my mind right now.
I don't give a fucking shit what happens to those fucking morons.
(he purrs as he rubs against my pantleg
...thank you, Carter. You've regained my sanity for a brief moment. (picks him up and pets him
Anyway, Justin asks if they can do that again, and Adam is happy when the Rangers head to shore. After that, he looks at the rest of the island, finding Divatox with the captured Jason and Lerigot. Divatox yells at them that she hasn't gotten all day, and Bowser tells her that they're coming. And Bowser Jr. complains to his dad that his feet hurt.
...you know what? Next to the Rangers, I'm...actually wanting Bowser to win and defeat Winnie and his friends. Despite their Captain Obvious
status, they look like they can easily take them down.
...and Mistress Nine offers Bowser Jr. a piggyback ride. Uh...how is she able to carry him? O__o
: Thanks, Mom.
...WHAT THE FUCK.
I'm really hoping that Mistress Nine is Bowser Jr.'s adopted mom, or Bowser took a wife after Bowser Jr. was born. Otherwise...how the hell did she give birth to that without dying?
Hot Skitty-on-Wailord Action
As the villains are nearing the temple, they hear noises. It's the warriors with the captured Kimberly. Bowser roars, "So, you want a fight, do ya?!" Uh, if they captured Kimberly with the intentions of giving her to you guys, I'm pretty
sure they don't want to fight.
Divatox, rightfully of the same mind as I, says to wait, and Bowser roars, "Now what?!" She says that the warriors are Maligore's guardians, and the bad guys reveal Lerigot. With his magic, he unlocks the doors of the temple. And so, the villains head inside the temple, preparing for the wedding.
Meanwhile, Adam meets up with the Rangers after seeing the dying Lerigot. The Rangers, for (truly) the first time, morph with a cry of "Shift into Turbo!" Once morphed into the Turbo Rangers, they head off.
Apparentally, without Winnie and his friends. Well, that makes liveblogging this a bit easier, since, after all, I'm not liveblogging the movie proper, though I do notice lines from it from time to time because they're funny, I'm liveblogging "Pooh's Adventures". Though with the ways things are going, it should be called "Bowser's Adventures" since...they did do some stuff.
Inside the temple, Divatox looks around. It's pretty much time for the sacrifices to be...sacrificed, obviously. Starting with Kimberly and Jason. And we get this.
: If anyone knows a reason why we two should not be joined in holy matrimony, SHUT UP!
In fact...why am I not liveblogging the movie proper?
This is far more interesting and less headache-inducing on its own than...this. Oh, well...
Meanwhile, the Rangers literally make a mad dash to the temple. Wait...did I just seriously
see the footage of the Rangers running, Adam saying, "Sure beats walking!", and Tommy replying, "You can say that again" twice
Oh, my God, I did. I fucking did. This movie can't suck any worse...
...thanks. Well, at least...this installment ends here.
: Eight down, three to go. Hopefully things will get better...but I doubt it. Also, may I have some milk?
Oh, sure. (gives him a saucer of milk
) And somehow, I doubt it'll get any better. This is It Got Worse: The Movie
, because when our expectations are high for something like this, this movie shoots them down with each and every installment thus far.
But who knows? Maybe there will be a bright spot. But I'm not getting my hopes up.
Will Kimberly and Jason escape this time before they're Maligore chow? Will the Rangers make it to the temple in time? And did they leave Winnie and his friends behind?
One who does not fight will not survive the next livebloggening of Pooh's Adventures of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie.