Episode 60 General
- WTF: Work Time Fun: A playful ramen timer from the game. It featured a Japanese woman in a bikini dubbed into English, just talking to the player while the ramen cooks away. It got into suggestive territory when she picked up a beach ball and began to spank it.
In the second act of the show, they temporarily replaced the woman with a male, Japanese bodybuilder among clips of same-sex kissing in Bully, 3D GayVilla, and campy shooter Choaniki. The bodybuilder tells you that in order to grow big like him, you have to eat your ramen.
- God Hand: Random cutscenes from the game.
- A poor shmuck gets a “Poison Chihuahua” (a subtitle tells us so!) sicced on him.
- Hero Gene delivers a Bad Ass Pre Ass Kicking One Liner:
Gene: You can wax on, wax off all you like; I'm still kickin' your ass.- Two bad guys throw some dude into an open grave, then point at each other and say, “Sweeeeet!”
- A gorilla luchador finishes reading a newspaper, then walks up to Gene, who says:
Gene: Wait – you're not a human, are you?!- The introduction of the sentai parody, the Mad Midget V:
Joker: Card gone wild – Joker!Diamond: One hot gangsta – Diamond!Club: You can find me at the – Club!Spade: Have your pet neutered or Spade!Heart: Ow ow ow ow ow ow, I'm hurt! I mean, Heart!
Then they say they are the Mad Midget V, and lay on their backs with their legs spread to make five V's. To which Gene says, “Douchebags!”
- Bully: Clips that showed how the game would let you partake in dating and kissing male OR female students. Official Xbox Magazine U.S. praised the game for including Achievements for kissing members of the same and opposite sexes
.
The first clip shows the main character, Jimmy, kissing a male student in public, on the school grounds, to which the other male student says, “This is just like one of those romance novels!” Another clip shows Jimmy kissing the same guy again, but next to a female student who slaps Jimmy afterward. Maybe he was trying to date her at the same time and she got jealous? Also strange is how, right before the slap, they showed her dozing off on her feet next to Jimmy, complete with Zs floating above her head.
5:12: A brief clip from Gears Of War where Marcus (voiced by John Di Maggio) uses the Lancer's notorious chainsaw bayonet on a Locust alien, and quips, “I could do that all day long.”
11:28: The “Demonstration” minigame from WTF. It appears to be a Simon-style memory game where you have to repeat a pattern of belches from ugly little troll guys. Disgusting!
In another clip, they show the “Karate” minigame, where you have to punch objects that fly from the right side of the screen. If you press the button too early or too late, the object careens into you. Objects range from giant cups to GIANT, scary tengu masks.
At the end of the ep, the ramen timer is done, and the young lady blows on the noodles for you to cool them down. Oh, WTF.
A Chunk of Choanki
The first time I'd ever heard about Choaniki was in an old issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly, years before they strolled down ol' Magazine Decay Lane. At that age, I didn't really understand how campy it was. It was just another Japanese shmup for the Super Famicom to me.
But many years later, EGM had Internet humorist Seanbaby do a (heavily and mercifully censored) feature for them on "The 9 Naughtiest (Plus One) Games Ever Made". The 32-bit Choaniki game was featured on the list, and the game was finally revealed in all of its campy, graphically questionable glory (the 32-bit Choaniki has a poorly rendered, realistic style, unlike all of the other games).
Choaniki is... interesting. Despite its being featured on the EGM list, it's not exactly gay porn. It's very campy, yes, but doesn't feature any blatant, ahem, man-on-man action aside from having the burly Samson and Adon shooting some of the most bizarre enemies ever put into a game, which are often disturbing-looking hybrids between man and machine. Allow Hardcore Gaming 101 to explain, inasmuch as they can. For the curious, here are videos of the series' 16-bit fighting game (yes, fighting game), and the PS1 Choaniki.
More trivia: The old Sega Genesis shmup Gynoug (also known as Wings of Wor) featured sprite design work by the same person who would go on to do the same for Choaniki. Gynoug doesn't have any sexual undertones whatsoever (except for maybe the name...), but it does have more of a straight-up Body Horror/biomechanical motif to the enemies. Just look at the Final Boss here!
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