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Beary Scary

Twilight of the Guardians

Episode 50 General

This ep consisted solely of those weird, early PS2 “games” that featured Japanese models. They were basically glorified DVDs that let you visit the sets of model shoots and check out their pictures. Pretty boring in my opinion. So instead, let's check out...

Episode 51 General

The basic idea is that there are remarkable young girls blessed with specialized guardians that they can summon to their aid. These unusual girls come together to defeat an organized group of bad girls with guardians. The characters include:

  • A tomboyish girl who is missing a pants leg (seriously). Her guardian: a big stone golem.
  • A girl with long black hair and glasses. She seems to have a calm demeanor. Her guardian: a male, angelic figure.
  • A high school girl with pink hair who seems a little shy. Her guardian: a big, chubby dragon that attacks with the sonic power of its voice. Just like Jack Black in Tenacious D! Her personality is an obvious contrast to...
  • A Sailor Mars Expy named Mayu, who is far ahead of the curb in terms of understanding what's going on when their school is attacked by mysterious guardian holders. Her guardian: a cocky, male embodiment of fire.
  • A girl with a spinning dragon for a guardian.
  • A girl that appears to be a fighter. Her guardian: a male, trident-wielding, snakelike monster, connected to the seas.
  • A girl dressed for the club with a guardian made of pure electricity.
  • A Bad Ass-looking chick who looks ready to ride a motorcycle. Her guardian is strangely robotic, with a helmet and a gun.

The intro doesn't show who he belongs to, but there is obviously a guardian modeled on samurai's armor who appears to be very strong; he's seen breaking a stone block to bits. He seems to be one of the guardians of the four main bad girls.

  • 0 Story (2000), Enix's very first PS2 game. Its story and gameplay are told in live-action FMV. The story uses the rare device of straight-up killing the main character right in the beginning, in a motorcycle crash. The next thing he knows, he's spirited off to a spatial void where two strange women seemingly dressed in plastic wrap talk to him. One of the women has a pretty annoying voice and a cutesy effervescence. The women are angels of love, and they tell him that he has to earn the love of Lina, an aspiring J-pop star, within six days to return to life. He is returned to Earth as an invisible, nebulous orb of spiritual energy. He has a limited ability to affect the physical realm and can use this ability to, for example, save Lina from getting drugged and taking advantage of by a sleazy music producer.

At certain points in the game, Lina's career is shown progressing quite well enough so that she can lip-sync at an actual show. Her excited friend waves her arms back and forth. At the end of the performance, the crowd applauds and cheers, and her friend says, “Kawaiiii!”

  • The intro of LSD (1998), an abstract, first-person PS1 game inspired by a woman's dream diaries over a span f 10 years. It went unappreciated in its time, but was eventually discovered to be a very strange and even disturbing little game. A shame, then, that they didn't show any gameplay. Here is Hardcore Gaming 101's take on the game.

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