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Live Blogs Orange and Blue: Let's read I am Number Four
Hadri2011-08-29 04:55:13

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Chapter One: How do I talk to girls?

Sorry for the slow updates. I actually have a decent amount written ahead of this, but haven't worked myself up to rereading the first third of the book or so but I'll try to get things moving along. - Hadri

CHAPTER ONE

Now we get to the bildungsroman part of the story, in which Four, and I’m going to call him that because he has no proper name other than his human aliases, narrates the tale. Four dumps a lot of information on us in the first few pages: he talks about what he remembers of the invasion of his home planet, Lorien, which is a pretty obvious but harmless reference to Lord Of The Rings. Then he explains how he’s one of nine children who escaped Lorien and are hiding from the Mogadorians on Earth, and that there’s a magic charm on them that means they can only be killed in order.

Well that’s a crappy loophole. But a convenient gimmick to help title your book series. If they do write six books, though, won’t it be confusing that the book named after Five is released after the one named after Six?

Four has only been talking for a few pages and I’m already pulling out my hair trying to understand why he’s expressing his time on Lorien in human weeks and years.

Four mentions for the first time that he just wants to be a NORMAL BOY™, damn it, but that his protector Henri moves them around the United States frequently to escape detection.

The action begins, like all good teen movies, with a party. Four has never been invited to a party before, so of course his first one is with the most popular kid at school. On a boat. With three coolers, and some girls. Hey, I'm just setting the scene for you exactly as the book does it.

As soon as Four tries talking to the girls he develops an awkward alien problem and immediately swims back home to Henri. Swimming half a mile underwater in one breath, he tells us.

Now that Three is dead, Henri and Four know they’re next. So they pack up and move to Lima, Ohio where Four joins the local Glee club and despite having the superpowers of song is tremendously uncool, but still gets to date Dianna Agron. No, just kidding. They pack up and move to Paradise, Ohio, where Four uses his superpowers to be a huge jerk and is tremendously uncool, but still gets to date Dianna Agron.

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