So, it's finally time to begin. For real this time. We left after Impa told Link to go to Horon Village and speak to a tree. So, I will do exactly that. Just one screen to the south. In summer. Even though it was just winter. Yes, the seasons are pretty screwed up.
Seasons change every time Link enters a new area. It's been a while since I last play it, so my memory is a bit fuzzy, but I think it's mostly random, with the exception of some areas, where the season is fixed. This creates a Broken Bridge effect, since some spots change according to the season and give access or block the path. With the staff of seasons, I can change the season in the current area, but more about that later, when I get it.
Before I go to the tree, I'll talk with some NPCs.
Girl: This is Horon Village! Hey, I've never seen you before. The Maku Tree? Head east.
There is a ledge where I can jump down. Under it is a large bud and beside it a boy, who gives interesting information.
Boy: Now it's just a bud, but it'll be a huge flower in spring. If you climb on that flower... I can't wait.
Well, I can understand that it's exciting for a little boy. Basically, large buds like this become flowers in spring. "Spring" is a fitting word, since it's really as if these flowers have springs, since they toss you up like a trampoline, giving you access to places, you can't go to otherwise. No, I have no idea how this could possibly work, but I guess they are some kind of magical flowers or something.
Old woman, who works on a field: It goes from hot to cold in a flash. The seasons are in utter chaos! What will it do to this year's harvest...?
Boy, who stands in front of a house: The seasons here change like the wind. It's strange...
Alternatively, the boy informs me that the house belongs to a bunch of birds, who serve as tutorial, similar to the library in Link's Awakening. But I won't go in there.
Guy, who looks like that father in LA, who knew that he would get lost: The seasons are a mess! Winter goes straight into summer... What's going on?
Yeah, people are pretty uneasy because of the seasons. It's rather justified.
Artist near a fountain: Do you know of the Hero's Cave near the Western Coast? The Hero's Sword is said to be hidden there, but no one has ever found it.
Old Guy: Our guardian, the Maku Tree, stands beyond the gate to the east of the town. It's said a hero with a sword will come to speak with him. I wonder if it's true...
Let's what we have...
[X] Hero
[ ] Sword
...Is there a beach nearby?
I enter a house with two entrances and see a woman with a baby in her arms, who looks exactly like the wife of the father, who knew that he would get lost in LA. Oh, and also some guy who runs back and forth.
Guy, who runs back and forth: I am Bipin, the expert arborist! I know plenty about trees. Now let me tell you somethin'! Blossom and I just had our first child! Yes! We did!!! Have a look!
He's so happy that he pushes Link away when he stands in the way. Maybe someone should tell him that his wife has already a quite large number of sons from get-lost-in-the-mountains guy.
Blossom: I am Blossom. This my first child—
Link: Yeah, right.
Blossom: A healthy baby boy! But I am having trouble choosing a name. Can you help me think of one? What would you call him?
Yes, I get to name her child. Her "first" child, of course. I resisted choosing a pseudo-funny name when I named Link, but not this time. So, I give him the name "Turd".
Blossom: You would name him Turd?
Link: ...Yes. Any problem with that?
Blossom: It's a fine name! That's what I'll call him!
Link: For real?
Blossom: He seems happy to have it!
Link: Well, he's a newborn. Ask him in ten years about it.
Blossom: Come visit us anytime.
Talking to her again:
Blossom: I hope Turd will grow strong and healthy, like you.
Link: If not, you can still rename him to "Diarrhea".
Really, Blossom, it's never a good idea to let a random stranger decide the name for your child. Ask Pantyhose Taro.
Bipin: So the name is decided. Turd, it is! It's a fine name! I hope he grows to be a fine child!
...Moving on...
Of course, there is also a shop in the village. Only, it's not open. However, when I try to go to the back rooms, the shopkeeper informs me hat I need a Member's Card. I guess there is some club or something there. But since it's a secret, the shopkeeper doesn't tell me what there is.
In another store, I meet an Arabic-looking guy, named Vasu. He can appraise magic rings, so they give an effect. For now, he gives me a ring box and a free ring "as sign of our friendship" and appraises it for free. This "Friendship" ring has no actual effect, so is completely useless. I guess that's how he views our "friendship". Yeah, I don't like you either. Anyway, if I get a ring, I already have, he buys the duplicate. But that only works with duplicates, so I can't sell him that "Friendship" ring back. I guess, it was just junk, he wanted to get rid off.
In another house, I find a guy, who looks suspiciously like Mr. Write from Link's Awakening, who, in turn, looks like Mr. Wright from the SNES version of Sim City, who, in turn, is based on Will Wright.
Guy, who looks like Mr. Write: Hm, the light in her is too dim to read by. Can anyone light my fire?
Can't you get your own magic powder? Well, I don't have any items at the moment, so not only am I unable to light his fire, I also can't blow up the brittle wall to the right.
There is also a clock workshop.
Clockmaker: I want to make a Cuckoo Clock better than any before, but I can't find a Wooden Bird that I like... One that's just breathtaking.
Sounds like a side quest to me. To the north-east is the home of the mayor.
Woman: This is the mayor's home. The mayor is fascinated with Gasha Nuts now. The place, planter and the planter's deeds affect what the nut produces. The mayor found a good place recently, so he is quite happy.
Mayor: I'm Ruul, mayor of Horon Village. Do you have any Gasha Seeds? If you plant one in soft earth, it will grow into a tree that bears nuts! Inside those nuts, you'll find all sorts of things! It's so fun I can't help myself. There's some soft earth just outside. Plant it there. You don't know about Gasha Seeds??? You're missing out! I'll give you my prized Gasha Seed to welcome you to town.
How generous. Seriously, it's great that he has a hobby, but this guy does nothing but talk about his damned nuts. Also, "Ruul"? What kind of name is that? Well, considering that this country's name is "Holodrum", stupid names shouldn't surprise me, but seriously. Really, I think even Turd has it much better.
So, Gasha Nuts. To be honest, I rarely do this kind of things in video games, unless it's necessary, so I forgot what these nuts actually do. Oh well, I just put the seeds into the earth and forget about it.
Anyway, it's time to go to the Maku Tree...
...Or not, because the entrance is blocked by a gate. A sign helpfully informs me that I need to "show courage to gain passage". I guess, I need that damn sword.
The artist near the fountain said that a sword is in a cave on the western coast, so I'll go out of the village to the west, experiencing yet another season change to winter. There is an octorok, I can't fight due to lack of a sword, but a sign says that the Hero's Cave is further west.
But actually, it was more to the south. Avoiding some keese and zols and gels, pushing blocks away, trying not to fall down a chasm (dumb as I am, I do fall down at one point, though), pressing buttons and getting keys and unlocking doors with them, I finally (well, it's not like this cave is big, it's actually tiny) come to the end and receive the fabled...
...Wooden Sword? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
The game says it's "truly a sign of courage". There is no way that the developers wrote this with a straight face. Oh well, at least I can fight with this thing. And I can finally go to that damned tree.
Going back to the village, the season turns to fall. There are some dragonflies flying around, which looks pretty nice. With the sword, I gain access to the Maku Tree, who is sleeping at the moment. With a sword slash, I let his sleep bubble burst and he wakes up.
Maku Tree: Hwa...... Who-who's that? Did you wake me?
Link: Well, there is no one else here with a log that vaguely resembles a sword.
Maku Tree: Who are you?
Link: Link and I'm supposed to save that pedophile season chick, who just got kidnapped by this Onox guy.
Maku Tree: Hmm... What?!? Din was taken while I slept? There is no sign of the Temple of Seasons?!? This is awful!!!
Link: No shit.
Maku Tree: Guarding the oracle is my duty...
Link: ...You are a tree. How can you guard anything?
Maku Tree: Alas, how I've withered. What's to be done, Link?
Link: Aren't you supposed to tell me that?
Maku Tree: With the seasons in chaos, the land is robbed of the very essence of nature, draining all of my might! Can you save Din in my stead? It is all this Maku Tree has ever asked!
Link: Well, that's kind of why I'm here.
Maku Tree: I sense evil in the Northern Peak, where the Temple of Seasons rested! Onox has cast a shadow in the Northern Peak. I think you will find him there. You'll need the eight Essences of Nature that lie sleeping in Holodrum. Gathering all eight is the only option. The essences possess the sacred power of nature with which you can break the shadow barrier and save Din.
Link: Got it. Find eight MacGuffins, which are hidden in dangerous dungeons, even though it would make more sense to keep them safe in... well, safe places. Seems strangely familiar actually...
Maku Tree: Shall I repeat it?
Link: Fuck no!
Maku Tree: Then I give you this key. Go to the giant root near the lake up north! The first essence should be there, but I'd expect some resistance. Be careful! I'll just—ahhm, rest until—ohh, no energy...ZZZ
"Some resistance" he says... Anyway, I get the Gnarled key, which give me access to the first dungeon. On the way, I meet some old guy, whose cat climbed on a tree and needs fish to get it down. Yeah, another side quest. Soon, I encounter some gnarled roots and a rock with a keyhole nearby. Yeah, it's the first dungeon and the sign to end here for now...
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