Touhoumon Blue is AWESOME!

Caper Nerd

Part 17 - Running errands because... why?

Kept you waiting, did I ZUN? Funny you didn't mention this when I kicked your ass not that long ago.

Also, I almost missed this one. Where am I in that picture? Inside the pokemart! Yeah, just a bit glitched. We actually walked straight through it...

On the bright side, he DOES actually acknowledge that I'm the current champion when we go to One Island. Doing this sidequest post game is actually new for me. I usually do it before facing Giovanni to get a bit more exp first. Anyway, ZUN finishes talking and gives us annoying fetch quest #1.

Speaking of annoying -or rather, POTENTIALLY GAMEBREAKING - know how you can't use the PC's here? So what happens if you, say, deposit most of your really good touhous after beating the Elite Four and then finally go back to this quest, not realizing what it involves? Yeah, you're boned pal. GameFreak is absurdly cautious about letting us trade away touhous with HM techniques, but they managed to overlook this somehow it seems. Speaking of trading, that'd be about your only hope right now.

Since there's nothing we actually HAVE to do on One Island right now, we'll skip straight to Island 2.

Two Island is where there's an interesting shopkeeper. He has a limited inventory right now but it upgrades over time. Also, he sells Tiny Mushrooms. Tiny Mushrooms. That's like if you found a shopkeeper in Hoenn that sold Heart Scales. We can trade two of these to have a touhou relearn a move. Awesome. I buy 20 just for the heck of it.

Heading up to Cape Brink now. Fishing here with a Super Rod will occassionally net you a Yuyuko (Grass/Ghost) for whatever reason. It's the only out of place touhou there. In the grass...

Cape Brink Touhous: Aya, Medicine, Hatate, Lunachild, CChen, Chen. Level range is 31 to 40.

Nothing new. Booooo.

Also at the cape, I decide to talk to the tutor lady here. I wasn't expecting her to do anything but tell me she couldn't teach me anything or something but... HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK! I know Hydro Cannon isn't that great, but for Sakuya? This is pretty frickin' sweet! Imagine the look on the face of the next fire-type touhou she fights when she busts out a goddamn HYDRO CANNON out of nowhere! Yeah, we're teaching her this. Definitely.

Incidentally, by my estimation this would mean that a starter Marisa could learn Blast Burn here and Reimu could learn Frenzy Plant. Marisa can do better than Blast Burn, but I'd totally teach Reimu Frenzy Plant. Even if just for the novelty.

Done at the cape, so now it's time to finally get back on track with this quest. We go to the Island Two "Game Corner", which is just a place where you can play some stupid mini-game over a wireless link. I wonder if anyone has ever actually played this before? Anyway, this guy won't shut up about Lostelle. So, naturally, we have to go to Three Island and find her before we can shove this stupid rock in this guy's stupid face.

I. HATE. Fetch quests. Especially the really stupid ones like this. Also, a biker shows up. So guess what will be waiting for us on Three Island. Yep. We have to beat up the bikers so we can find Lostelle so we can bring her to her daddy so he'll take the rock from us so ZUN and Celio will finally finish fixing that damn oversized computer of their's. And you have to do all this before you're even allowed to leave the islands...

This bullshit here is why I really don't care for the Sevii Islands. It's also why I don't like Kanto in G/S/C/HG/SS. It's the post game, I'm supposed to be done with ridiculous fetch quests. Not finding some lazy asshole's lost daughter because the ship won't arrive in port until I've done so. Yet here I am finding a different lazy asshole's lost daughter. You know what? Considering the other fathers we bear witness to in the Pokemon series, I'm starting to just think that dads simply suck in the Pokemon world.

Three Island can wait to be saved, though, while we take a brief detour into this cave. We can find a nugget here. And then this guy gives us another. Free cash. Not bad. Strangely, he talks as if we've met before. Of course, the reason for that is the game expects you to have come here prior to having received the National Dex. The problem with that is the area is optional. Also, in Touhoumon Blue or Aqua+Yui you already HAVE the National Dex so this guy just gives you a free nugget the first time you speak to him.

And then outside in this here grass area... I won't even bother with the usual template. You find Nazrin here. Both in chibi and normal forms. Level range is 5 to 35. Since she's Nazrin. And a Mickey Mouse joke? I don't know, what do you guys think? Incidentally, if you want more nuggets, chibi Nazrins rarely carry them and the evolved Nazrins commonly carry them. Of course, this late in the game, we have VS Seeker + Amulet Coin anyway.

Nazrin herself is a speedy attacker. Attack is only 95 and special attack is only 85, but her speed is a very nice base 125. Ability can be either Pick Up or Guts. Type is Normal, and she only needs 800,000 exp to reach level 100 so she levels up pretty quickly. She's quite frail, though. 75 hp, 55 defense, 65 special defense. Movepool isn't too bad and if you desparately miss the electric rodent, she can learn Thunderbolt. I'm thinking a Pikachu joke might be more appropriate at this point.

Back to the matter at hand, Misty singlehandedly shows the bikers who's boss by beating up their's.

Talk to this guy afterward for a free Full Restore. Talk to this guy to find out that we STILL have more running around to do because Lostelle has gone off toward Bond Bridge. You know, I wonder if it's occurred to mister father-type that a name like Lostelle is practically prophetic?

Anyway, now we're off to Bond Bridge where there is...

Bond Bridge Touhous: CMystia, CMedicine, Medicine, Mystia, CLunachild, CStar S, CChen, Lunachild. Level range is 29 to 40.

...nothing new! The sequel! But I know there's new touhous to be found around here somewhere.

There's also trainers on this route, with evolutions ranging from chibi to EX. Actual levels are in the mid-30 or higher range, so about what you'd expect if you just came from Cinnabar after beating Blaine.

We run into a swimmer with a bit of a problem on this route. I'm trying to imagine that touhou would have bitten through her swimsuit. All that's in the water are the usual Komachis, Hinas, Nitoris, and Ikus. I suppose it could have been a Komachi's scythe, but she clearly says that a touhou BIT through it so...

After that little detour, we're in Berry Forest. In here we can find...

Berry Forest Touhous: Rinnosuke, Mystia, Reimu, Marisa, Fairy, Mokou (Fire), CMokou (Fire), CEirin (Water), CKaguya (Grass). Level range is 20 to 37.

...the missing members of the Imperishable Night crew! Eirin, Mokou, and Kaguya! We've found not ONE new touhou here, but THREE! Also, this is the second place in the game where you can find Rinnosuke. Mokou's normal and chibi forms can be found here, though I believe we would have found Mokou in Mt. Ember back on Island One had I bothered to do any exploring there.

Mokou gains the Fighting type when she hits EX. She's pretty frail with 75 defense and 50 special defense, and not exactly fast with her 75 base speed. But she hits hard from both offenses with 100 attack and 120 special attack. On top of that, base 130 hp helps to make up for her lackluster defenses. Ability is Hourai, which removes status effects when she switches out.

Most of Kaguya's stats are pretty lackluster. When she evolves, she gains the Psychic type. Attack is 60, speed is 65, and defense is pretty much paper thin at a mere 35. Special attack is at least useable at base 80, and special defense is a respectable base 90. Her only standout stat is her hp, a whopping base 210. You can make a pretty good special tank out of her, but her biggest weakness is that she has too many weaknesses. Fire, Flying, Poison, Ice, Bug (x2), Ghost, and Dark. Kinda hurts a bit. Her ability is also Hourai.

Eirin is another one with fairly lackluster stats for the most part, though not as bad as Kaguya. Her hp is lower at a base 150, which is still pretty high but she's not nearly as defensive as Kaguya could be. Her defense is slightly higher, at base 50, and special defense lower at base 80. Both her offenses are base 95, which is much better off than Kaguya, and her base speed is 70. She gains the poison type upon evolving, which I understand more than the water type. I think I'd rather use Eirin over Kaguya, all things considered, since Eirin is only weak to Ground, Psychic, and Electric attacks.

After making our way through the twisting path of Berry Forest - a path which is a lot less twisty if you have Cut and Surf to take a few shortcuts - we find Lostelle. Who is being scared by some touhou. We'll have to beat it up now.

And what touhou is scaring Lostelle? Could it be Rumia? Kogasa? One of those goofy-looking ghosts? Suwako's hat?

No! It's... it's... Yuyuko? A male EYuyuko to be specific. Eh. Guess I could kinda see Yuyuko messing with someone like that. Anyway, I catch her to add EYuyuko's page to my tohodex. Or him, I suppose. Or is it both?

After completing this sidequest, the game decides to finally give us a break and instantly teleports us to the Game Corner on Two Island. Now that Lostelle has been rescued from the evil clutches of Yuyuko, we can finally shove this stupid rock in her father's face. He gives us a Moon Stone for our trouble.

Before going back to One Island, I decide to check out that shopkeeper again. He has now added vodka and Ultra Orbs to the menu. Beer and Vodka are both healing items, replacing the usual drinks. I believe it's Sake that replaces the Lemonade. Since we've also already beaten the Elite Four, I decide to talk to him again to see his final inventory. Now with Sake and Moo Moo Milk.

Anyway, we're done here. In fact, I believe we're now 100% done with islands Two and Three. Back on One Island, ZUN is conveniently finished whatever he was doing and takes us back to Cinnabar. This entire trip was a pointless waste of time. Seriously, what the hell? What was the point in doing all those stupid sidequests? We beat up a bunch of bikers and do a bunch of fetch quests for what? A Moon Stone? Certainly isn't for the plot, that's for sure.

We're not done yet though. Next installment, the islands have MORE "fun" in store for us when they send us off to collect two pointless gemstones, made even more pointless by the fact that this is a ROM hack. At least there will be new touhous to see/catch, including some dark touhous.