OH MY GOD! ARE WE GETTING THIS ON FILM?
It turns out, if you're me, the answer is "no." Why? Because I accidentally forgot to record myself beating the final boss the first time around. D'OH. Thankfully I did not save state afterwards, though there's nothing to save into.
And even if I did, I still have those paranoid screenshots of password screens! :D
When we last left off, we had just beaten the last boss—except we hadn't, we'd gotten a Health Container! To avoid the TIME PARADOX of these two cocurrent actions, we're going to ignore them entirely and just start up right before the final boss. We're back in that kooky temple!
As you can see, I took the liberty of stocking up on medicine and an extra Water of Life off-screen. Trust me, we'll be needing them.
This fight will also require use of Bop-Louie's superior motor skills. Sorry, Freeon.
Quick! Play tense music!
Whatever is inside that thing, we are not
looking back, baby!
Welp looks like nobody's home let's just press on shall we.
Except for the VIKING ROBOT SPACE FROG WITH BONUS MINI-ME.
...Yep. By this point, I don't think there's much left to say.
Just look at Bop-Louie's expression here. Even he's thinking
, "Oh for cripes' sake I thought we were done with this nonsense."
If you couldn't have guessed by now, he's the final boss. And in a game full of climbable drool, hammer-powered flying eyeballs, walking lips, disembodied head-maces, and whatever the crap was up with that bird, I don't know what else
the final boss of this place would look like. So we're just going to call him Final Boss.*
And boy, is he a cheap bastard. Not quite as cheap as the UFO guy, but close. He attacks you by launching his child/small clone/egotistically-shaped stuffed animal at you at rocket speed, which you'd better be Louie if you hope to dodge it. He can either throw it straight at you...
Or come at you with a kind of overhand swing, seen here.
Note also the giant "Kick Me" sign
large glowing gem on his chest.
You will, naturally, want to beat the stuffing out of the smaller viking-space-robot-frog, despite its spiked helmet looking somewhat like trouble.
Actually hitting it is somewhat more difficult, due to the speed with which it attacks.
You want to stand sort of in the middle of the room. Then, wait to see how he attacks. If he comes right at you, being in the room middle will give you time to dash away (though not much, so be sharp). Sometimes, though, there's not much to run too, and you may end up needing to stomp him again just to defend yourself. If he goes overhead, however...
That is when, like the tiger, you must strike!
If he wasn't fast enough to start with, he gets quicker. And somewhat glitchier.
I'm not looking so good. But then... Ha-ha! I brought backup!
Attack with full force yet again! Fail to score a hit until losing 50 of those points you made up!
Thankfully, even though he speeds up, his basic attack pattern is the same. He does bob up and down a bit, but it's less often an impedance to your hits than getting suddenly stabbed by his mini-thing is.
He takes about seven hits, which is a weird number, but OK. Eventually...
VICTORY IS MIIIIIINE!
Viking Robofrog sinks into the ground. Slowly. Slowly.
And did I mention slowly?
Then he fades into nothingness.
WE DID IT! HOORAAAAY! Well, more like BOP-LOUIE DID IT! HOORAAAAY! And all it took was some good-old-fashioned stompin' action.
But wait! We came through this portal looking for a way home,
not to beat up weird parasitic alien twins! What about the conclusion of the game's story?
...Yeah I can barely take that sentence seriously either. The game does, though!
Bop-Louie poses to his friends the question of the century.
"Now that we've mercilessly slaughtered everything in our path, why don't we wallow in our ill-gotten spoils while the hapless residents quake in fear of the undersides of our shoes?"
But Bop-Louie takes a more Old West Zen kind of approach to the whole deal. "Sorry, little lady, but an old cowboy's gotta go where the wind takes 'im."
And o hai GIANT ROCKET FROM NOWHERE. I presume that was in the frog's employ before this because otherwise why did it take so long to get out of here.
Also note that Shades and Gil are suffering from the same palette problems as before. So Shades has gone from being a whatever-the-heck-sports-team-is-pink fan to being a Broncos fan, and Gil is now orange around the Freeon instead of the reverse. Either way, they have absolutely no problem wishing their dear ol' friend goodbye forever as he abandons them in a psychadelic crater.
But then Louie's all like "eeeeh no." O HAI GAIZ. Forget my house and everyone I've ever known! Guys, we're stayin' here!*
"I think there's still some medicines we haven't found yet, and I'm always up for more Manliness-Enhancing Hearts!"
And they all lived WTF-ily ever after.
...But not for us! We still get to MAKE FUN OF THE CREDITS! :B
Heh heh. "Staff"
Oh come on that's just too easy.
This game was delicious.
Fun fact: That first one's real last name is "Ka."
"Ucchi," eh? Eh? :eyes: ...Oh wait. Never mind.
Man, I think more people are getting "specially thanked" here than actually worked on this game. (Also, where did those European-sounding people suddenly come from?)
Clearly, a spelling "adviser" was not among them.
Back in the days when one or two dudes in their basement was the norm
for game design.
And who could forget... the most important of them all?
G'night, everybody. It's been swell.
But stick around a little while for the afterparty! In a little while, I'll have a few bonus features! I couldn't get the glitch from last time to work (pity, but it was weird—it involved the faucet suddenly coming back as a mixed-up Blocky sprite and all the water vanishing, turning kind of Minus World-y), but I'll showcase some different glitches, as well as give you a quick look into this game's sequel! Hint: It's not a metroidvania
But for now, my friends, this where I leave you. Thanks for reading this thingamabob, even if you discovered it long after its completion lying near the bottom of the Live Blogginations list and got bored enough to read it. Frankly, I think this has been flipside-y enough for one liveblog. So, rather, see you on... the relatively normal side of the street.