Usht's Utopia for Fan Fiction of Questionable Quality


Naruto/Twilight - kakashi the vampire ninja

So we're about to head into the endgame segment with Meru. I figure this is a pretty decent point to do an intermission. Now, there's several ways to paint yourself a target of MSTing. The first of which is to do a crossover of two series known for their extensive Fan Dom and Hate Dom. The second is to write about a character and then make your username "character'slover".

Well, lucky you, kakashi'slover29, today your masterpiece "kakashi the vampire ninja" gets put on the line.

It was just a mission, nothing more than that. But why did it end up like this, I'm a ninja from the hidden leaf village. But now I have a terrible secret that could endanger everyone I love. I'm a vampire.

Actually, this is a tragedy of sorts, and quite Greek in nature. See, there are three steps to a Greek tragedy, first you have someone of high esteem, power, and prestige. Second, that person must act in some sort of manner that, while not necessarily bad in of itself, causes that character to begin a fall that takes all of those qualities away, leaving an empty shell of his or her former self. Finally, the tragedy completes itself with the character realizing this.

KL has actually managed to mix things up a bit by lettings us begin at the final step. This is typically called In Media Res, or simply, it starts in the middle or (oddly enough) end of the story. Why do this? So that way, we can already see the broken, shattered man that Kakashi now is compared to his former glory, creating a stark contrast and leaving us to wonder just how he managed to fall that far.

Kakashi is at the hokage's office getting a mission from Tsunade. "Kakashi your mission is to deliver a message to the land of lightning," Tsunade said as she handed to message to Kakashi. "Ok Lady hokage I'll be back soon," Kakashi said as he walked out.

The second step, continuing in reverse order, is the actions which set Kakashi out on his mission. What can we determine of Kakashi here? Well, he's a man of great importance, working directly under the Hokage. This also means that he's quite loyal and efficient at what he does, all of which are qualities valued by the Japanese.

Kakashi was about to leave when he heard someone call his name, "Kakashi where are you going?" Naruto asked as he ran up to him. "I'm just going to deliver a message enough important," Kakashi replied. "Ok then bye," Naruto said as he waved goodbye.

And now more on the first part of the Greek Tragedy, the story continues to show Kakashi's great prestige among the ninjas of the Leaf Village by not only endowing him with an important and timely mission direct from the leader of the village, he also is shown to be a role model to the younger members of the village. Thus, he is an elite soldier and father figure, the paradox nature of being a nurturer and killer only adds to his glory as he is able to balance both.

It will take three days to get to the land of lightning and already it been half a day and Kakashi decides to take a break before continue the mission. As Kakashi as sitting down he sense that someone watching him. "I know you have been following me so stop hiding and come out," kakashi said looking at the tree that the person is hiding.

Now, here's where part two of the greek tragedy begins to kick in again. In carrying out his mission, out of both loyalty to the village and due to a sense of duty to protect those that live there, his keen sense are shown as he spots a random stalker. Again, nothing here is inherently bad, but does ultimately lead to his downfall.

"So you are Kakashi Hatake the famous ninja with the eye called the sharingan eye am I correct," asked the person behind the tree. "Who are you" asked kakashi, the person that was behind the tree came behind kakashi.

Now here begins the second brilliant part of this piece of writing, the metaphor for the westernization of Japan. The tree that separates them is a metaphor for the amount of distance that keeps Japan and England separate entities, yet the sudden appearance of the stalker behind Kakashi is demonstrative of how unexpectedly England appears at Japan.

"My name is Jane and I'm going to kill you," Jane replied as she bit him on the arm.

The mention of killing and subsequent biting is meant to remind us of how England entered Japan and threatened them using superior weaponry and then proceeded to steal the precious valuables of the land. In short, preying upon it.

"Hey what are you doing!" kakashi asked as pulled out a kunai and tried to stab Jane but I didn't work. Kakashi could feel that he was losing bleed so he use lightning blade to kill Jane.

The subsequent retaliation is much like how the first few lords who fought the English reacted, it was quick but meaningless as they had not the weaponry to fight back. It was only after England had started not only started taking land, metal, and art (or here, the blood), that they could unite as a single force to fight off the invaders (the lightning blade).

But before he was about to hit her she let go, "You are so powerful to be killed, I will let you live but you have to come with me," Jane said as walk up to kakashi. "What have you done!" kakashi yelled as fall to the ground and felt a burning pain all over his body. "You are transforming into a vampire" Jane said, "A vampire!" kakashi shouted. "Time to go kakashi" Jane said as her pick up kakashi's body.

And so in the closing bits, the Greek Tragedy and metaphor are complete. Kakashi has fallen from protector of the Leaf Village to a vampire and slave to a random attacker. It was merely chance that brought him here and such, chance that can similarly bring down any great man or woman or even nation. The turning into a vampire is a metaphor for how Japan went through a rapid modernization in response to the English invasion in order to survive but also the loss of its own roots in honor and humility, just as Kakashi has lost his humanness. Yes, this piece of writing is a grim reminder both of how we as individuals are imperfect and ultimately playthings for the world, ripped from that hard earned power and of Japan's own tragedy, its fall from grace and spirituality and forced transformation into a sad mimicry of Europe.

Brilliant, I say, brilliant!


"What do you think, did it suck or not"

That fanfiction sucked, but your sporking didn't.
rmctagg09 18th Jun 11
Wow. I'm just amazed you could type all that with a straight face, Usht. Bravo, I say. Bravo.
SabresEdge 18th Jun 11
Straight face? Who said anything about that?
Usht 18th Jun 11
Each time I think I've seen 'em all, Rule 34 comes and slaps my face. Ugh.
desdendelle 18th Jul 11