Usht's Utopia for Fan Fiction of Questionable Quality


Fire Emblem - The Girl From Another World - Chapter 5

Meru: ok what is this chapter 5.* looks back in story* yea chapter 5

Yeah, question, there's been the prologue and chapters one, two, and three. Where did four occur?

Miyako: man today's Monday. Monday is the WORST day ever!

Meru: oh shut up and deal with for goodness sakes

Yuri: but it is true

Meru: you want me to bash you in the head cuz I'll do it alright

Yuri: whoa calm down

Meru: srry I'm just tired right now. I want to finished this before valentine's day.

Miyako: y valentine's day?

Meru: Remember Ian?

Yuri: what abou-oooooooh o_o

Meru: anyways we're rambling. I don't own fire emblem or its characters etc. I only own Meru and Fayt and their dialogue. Enjoy the chapter! ^_^

*Insert something cynical about young love here*

Chapter 5 : Rivals Collide and Just Cause

"The laguz failed to cross the river. This is their last chance to try. This time, they'll attack with beorc as well." Sothe said.

"we should know what that means." I said crossing my arms.

"I know. We'll probably be fighting the Greil Mercenaries. I'm aware. It's not going to be pretty."

"No doubt about it" Fayt said

Shut up, Fayt, you're still wallpaper with a girly name.

"Sothe. Tell me more about Commander Ike." Micaiah asked Sothe

"Why? You used to hate it when I said anything about him." Sothe said confused

"I want to know more about the man I'll be fighting against. What kind of a person is he?"

Badass, manly, and gay.

"Well, let's see… He's generous. He doesn't care about petty things. He holds no prejudice against laguz, nor does he care about opinions of the nobles. He's a master swordsman. He accomplishes everything he sets out to do. He's a true hero."

"that's Ike for ya." I said smiling

"I see. He sounds...quite different from King Pelleas." said Micaiah.

"Micaiah, they don't even compare. King Pelleas lacks any leadership or decision-making skills."

'except public speaking' I said giggling

"...That may be, but I believe in King Pelleas. His heart is in the right place. I believe in his virtuous nature and his commitment to being a good king..." Micaiah said

"Even though he would set you out on a war that doesn't involve Daein at all? A war of bigotry and hate, fighting on the same side as our real enemies? You're smarter than this, Micaiah, along with you Meru" Sothe said to both of us.

"I know this isn't rational Sothe but he has his reasons." I said

"The enemy is on the move. They're crossing the river! There are humans among the beasts!" reported a Daein soldier.

"here we go. Lets hope for the best."

"Meru, are you sure you're alright?" Fayt asked me worriedly


I don't think we need to be worrying about Meru here, she's only single handedly defeated every single boss character she's come into contact with so far. Fayt, on the other hand, we haven't even heard about fighting. If this was a written by a Victorian author, I'd be waiting for Fayt to die at any moment to fulfill his role as Shallow Love Interest with no personality and motivate Meru to head to victory full of rage.

"Without the advantage of an ambush, this fight is sure to be tougher than our last one." said Micaiah. With that the battle started. I knew we would lose this fight.

Because plot says so.

One by one, our friends started to retreat and the next thing I knew I was against Ike."Meru, you don't have to do this. If you're afraid of the laguz I can help you."

"Ike, I'm not afraid of the laguz, in fact I love the laguz. Both the branded and the laguz. I have to stay to avoid an unnecessary." Ike looked surprised of what I just said.

What's even going on? What is Meru even avoiding? I'll just keep it vague out of laziness and to keep you non-players in the fog.

"Whose death?"

Well, sure, I guess death is a good thing to avoid. But which death is unnecessary? It's not like you're already in war killing people and then enacting animal cruelty.

"Can't tell"

Very well then. I will not kill you today but don't expect you to come out of this unscathed."

"same goes to you" it was a fight that I would surely lose but I had a slim chance. When it was over I hit his arm and he cut me by the cheek where blood was flowing down.

"wow I barely just got your cheek and you got my arm."

Yes, Ike's ssoooo badass as to stand up to the power of the Sue. All hail the greatness of Ike, too bad his IQ is dropping like the brick though.

"well I had more training than you had so it was expected kinda. Better go back. You guys are about to win" with that I retreated knowing if I stayed too long I would surely get killed.

"Good day, lad, I hear we're fighting a battle with each other currently."

"Why yes, it appears we are, madam. Care for a sparring match?"

"That sounds fantastic, have at you!"

"Oh ho, excellent move I must say, but I also got you."

"Undoubtedly, good chap. Thank you for the brilliant match, but time's now running short, I must be off."

"Good day to you too, madam."

Anyway, Ike's a mercenary, he's brought down tyrants, fought in several wars, and literally wrestles with lions on a regular basis, somehow I doubt Meru's got more training than him.

Later… "man I can't believe we lost to those guys!" Edward said.

"will you stop complaining? A loss is a loss and we can't do anything about it." Leo said to Edward.

"if only that was true." I said spacing out.

"what?" Edward asked


Oh hey, Ed and Leo, good to know you're at least still relevant to provide some original dialog and probably never appear again and without ever being introduced.

The next day

We weren't involved in a battle but there were surely problems.

"Micaiah, it's over. The front line is broken. The apostle's army is crossing the bridge." Sothe said to Micaiah

"Alright then… Order a retreat." Micaiah said

"got cha." I said snapping my fingers

Got what now?

"Wh-what? No! Are you a simpleton? Just destroy the bridge!" exclaimed a Begnion inspector

"forget it. We're not doing it. Got a problem with it?" I said giving a glare to the inspector.

"Inspector... With all due respect, Daein soldiers will also die if we destroy the bridge now." Micaiah said to the inspector.

"Those are called acceptable losses, my dear, and any losses suffered by your men are acceptable if it means stopping that army! As a representative of the senate, I will not allow you to retreat! Fight to the last man!"

"Inspector. While I respect your opinion... The final decision is up to me, as commander in chief of this army. Sothe, order the retreat. Get those men out of there before they're routed."

"Insolent little brat! How dare you disobey my orders!"

"We could always leave you here while the rest of us retreat, Inspector. How's that sound?" threatened Sothe.

"Y-you... I will report this incident to both your king and the senate! Start thinking of an excuse now, perhaps!" exclaimed the inspector. With that he left.

"what an idiot." I put my hand on my head.

"pompous fool…" said Micaiah

"Well, I'll go order the retreat." Sothe said.

"I'll come with you" Fayt said. Then Micaiah collapsed. Afterward Yune chirped.

While Meru's receding back into being wallpaper that makes random comments in the background, Macaiah does something plot important and Fayt may just actually be shedding his wallpaper.


"will Micaiah be ok?" I asked Fayt.

"I don't know." He answered

"Fayt, Meru You guys stay here." Sothe said to us.

"you can count on us"

"of course I can."

"What's happening? I was doing so well...for a while... I feel like...fog is clouding my mind... Am I...losing my powers?" asked Micaiah.

"you're just tired Micaiah" I said to her. Yune chirped again

"Funny... I always wished that I didn't have this farsight... It often feels like such a burden... But this clouded vision seems so strange. Now, I miss the clarity... Ironic, isn't it, Yune?"

Nah, just kidding, even when they're in an important position, Macaiah just talks to the bird anyway. This is quite a let down after having such an extended chat with Ike.

We all went to get Micaiah to bed but my vision started to get blurry and I shortly after collapse. Fayt saw this and yelled " Meru! Are you ok?"

I stand up slowly and said, " I'm alright Fayt just.. tired."

He put his hand on my fore head and yelled, "Tired my foot! You're burning up. We better get you to bed."

It appears as though the notorious Faintaneous Feminenious Disease is on the rise again.

"I'll be fine! Right now we need to worry about Micaiah."

"Fine but if you collapse again I'll make sure you get the rest you need."

"duly noted Fayt. Duly noted." He was right though I do need the rest. If this keeps on then I'm sure to die in battle. Ironic really. Here I thought they needed my help, when actually I needed their help.

That's not ironic, that's just what happened. What's ironic is the fact that despite dominating the battlefield, you're being struck down so easily by some random disease out of no where. But don't worry, I'm sure our girl will be over it in no time and back to gutting random no names on the war front.

"I'm such an idiot" i said under my breath

I have no objections to this statement.

Meru: wow I'm not even gonna lie at that line.

Miyako: eh most of it is true.

Meru: shut up. And the people who are giving bad reviews, you guys are either sadistic people trying to make others feel bad for what you guys haven't done right, or truly know person will not be a writer despite, or you just do bad reviews knowing how cliche the story is (obviously).

Yuri: I agree with u. ppl who give bad reviews are mostly sadistic trying to discourage others from writing.

Meru: sad really. Anyways hope you like this chapter. I might even do a modern fire emblem.

What's a modern Fire Emblem even suppose to be like? Ike appearing in present day and being the one who actually captures and kills Saddam Hussein?

Anyway, I'm now feeling a need to read the reviews of this story and I'll drop my own criticism once I'm done with the entire deal, might even register at fan fiction dot net and drop it as a review.