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Usht's Utopia for Fan Fiction of Questionable Quality
Usht

[table of contents]
Fire Emblem - The Girl From Another World - Chapter 3
Meru: ….

Miyako: ….

Yuri: I said I was srry will you plz do the into now?

in·to

preposition noun /ˈinto͞o/ 

Expressing movement or action with the result that someone or something becomes enclosed or surrounded by something else - cover the bowl and put it into the fridge - Sara got into her car and shut the door - he walked into a trap sprung by the opposition

I'll just take it to mean sex.

Meru: you chased us with a chainsaw. What kind of person does that when they're INSANELY crazy?

Miyako: for the first time in my life Yuri, I hate you so much I can't even look at you.

Meru: anyways back to the WHOLE point of this, we're finally on chapter 3. And I hope u enjoy this. Go ahead and review afterwards. And also I do not own fire emblem or its characters. I only own Meru and Fayt and their dialogue. Do I REALLY have to say this over and over again?

Miyako: either that or get killed by an insane person (looking at Yuri)

Okay, so we've got the Tsundere (Meru), the Yandere (Yuri, and the name only makes it worse), and the older and wiser one (Miyako). Meanwhile, Fayt, if he ever shows up in here may actually obtain some sort of semblance of personality and graduate from the role of Shallow Love Interest.

Chapter 3 : Crimea and Elincia's Gambit

Well after a few days I finally made it to Crimea (this should be around where Elincia makes her gambit.) After a few moments I finally met Elincia, the queen of Crimea , and she filled me in the details of whats going on now. Lucia, her foster sibling sister, has been kidnapped and they send her hair.

"so you're the boy who killed Jarod?" Elincia asked me.

Do ho ho, Gender Confusion Count: 3.

"girl and yes. I am the one who killed him and I would like to help you in this battle." I replied

"oh my apologies, but aren't you from Daein?"

"for a while but I am neither Daein,Crimean, or Begnion. Just a traveler who wants to help."

"I see."

A little later Ludveck (is that how its spelled?) was outside willing to fight us.

Surprisingly, yes, it's actually spelled right but you really, really shouldn't be asking the reader that.

"Royal guards! Arm yourselves, and prepare to meet the rebel forces in battle. I will be commanding you personally." Elincia said

"alright here we go" I said under my breath.

Also, has anyone else been noticing that this is starting to become Meru's catchphrase? That and she likes to talk under her breath a lot. Perhaps this is some sort of deconstruction of the silent protagonist, able to show intelligence and input meaningful contributions but ultimately of little consequence and so plays the puppet to everyone else, infinitely skilled and yet reduced to a pawn by society. GENIUS!

"Your Majesty! But...you are the queen! It's much too dangerous! Please, assign a subordinate to this duty!" a Crimean Soldier pleaded to her

"I will not. It is my indecision that has allowed the rebellion to come this far. I refuse to run from this problem any longer."

She walked to an old crow laguz named Nealuchi and a female white heron laguz named Leanne.

"Princess Leanne, Sir Nealuchi... This fortress will soon be under siege." Elincia said to them

"Wh-whaaat?" Nealuchi screamed.

"Somehow the enemy has found out that I am hiding here. My two fine friends... You must escape."

"I...sing...and h-help...Queen Elincia!" Leanne spoke in our modern language poorly.

' oh yea I forgot she was learning to speak in our language' I thought to myself

Well, good to see some plot details being slowly filled in for the non-Fire Emblem players, but you guys still have no idea what's going on, amirite?

"No! Under no circumstances! I won't allow any such thing!"

"no use Elincia. You know how Leanne can be stubborn as Reyson." I butted in

"what? But how would you –"

"lucky guess" I said very quickly.

...Very well. I must prepare as well. I had hoped this day would never come... Amiti, the treasured blade of House Crimea, will awaken from its long slumber."

We all went outside and from the looks of it Ludveck is not backing down. So right now the case is a life-or-death situation.

"Y-Your Majesty, dire news! The rear gate is open, and the rebel army is storming in!" a soldier came up to Elincia.

"you GOT to be kidding me?" I said out loud very irritated because of the situation. (when you get to this chapter it WILL be hell. Depending how pro you are.)

Pro Tip: Don't die.

"What? How could this happen?"

"I think you'll understand once you question this man." A cat laguz girl named Lethe shows up with a servant.

"You guard the inner garden, correct? " questioned Elincia

"You scum! You helped the rebel army, didn't you?" the Crimean soldier said to the servant.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I did it because it was the best thing for the future of this country. Those Daein murderers killed my entire family, and now the queen bows down and wags her tail at them! It's a disgrace!" he replied

"Silence! You're the traitor here! Prepare to die."

"Enough! There is no point killing him now. Ludveck is already out there and right now we do not need this. And especially me, I am in a bad mood right now and you do NOT want to see me in a bad mood in a battle." I yelled rubbing my temples.

Meh, he's a faceless soldier anyway. Unless he's a certain archer of badass descent, he's pretty much useless anyway.

"Meru's right. Right now we have to halt Ludveck and his men. They're already inside!" Elincia said

Surprise again, Meru's presence changed nothing, this happens anyway in the game.

"I'm going out there, too. " Lethe said (if alive)

"Mordecai will fight for you, Queen Elincia. " Mordecai said (if alive)

"You can count on me, Your Majesty." Brom said (if alive)

"Queen Elincia, Crimea needs you more than anything, and I reckon you could use my help." Nephenee said (if alive)

"My homeland, being ruled by a snobby stiff like Ludveck? Please. I don't think so!" Heather said (if recruited and alive)

Okay, so this section gets special note, see if you scroll down here, you'll notice they have the dialog for the chapter. You'll also notice they have the same exact text "(if alive)", meaning that not only did Meru_64 lift a lot the text straight from the game, she also took it right of the FE Planet site and didn't bother to remove the stuff that wasn't dialog. So what are the conditions of these characters right now? Are they alive or dead? The cat in the box would know, I suppose.

"Your Majesty! We would give our lives for our queen! Allow us to fight!" All the Crimean soldiers shouted.

"well unlike most people (not including the GOOD guys just most of the bad guys) I'm actually willing to help to very end." I said with a smile.

Meru's likeable points just drop by ten.

"Thank you, everyone. I am indeed the queen of Crimea, and a queen does not hide. Our enemies are fellow citizens of Crimea. But we can no longer sit idle as they destroy the harmony of our nation."

Right before the battle would finally start, a girl with pink hair and on a pegasus named Marcia arrived. "Queen Elincia! I made it!"

"Marcia!" Elincia said happily

"Thanks to General Geoffrey, we spotted an ambush on the main road and snuck by on the old highway instead! The Royal Knights will be here soon. I flew ahead to tell you...and to serve up some traitor pie on my lance!"

"...Thank you. I'm impressed you made it back so quickly."

"My pleasure, Your Majesty! Now, which monkeys do you want fileted before the Royal Knights get here? Oh by the way whos he?" she asked pointing to me.

"Some random mercenary of arbitrary importance that I'm trusting for no readily apparent reason since I'm not even paying her."

Now, let's look at the Fridge Logic here for a moment, there's a lot of soldiers around and in the Fire Emblem Universe, it's not exactly unusual to have younger male mercenaries enlisted in the army (Gender Confusion Count: 4), so why would Marcia even take notice of Meru? Maybe it's the uncommon exceedingly normal blue hair?

"oh that's-"

"My name is Meru Furude and I'm on your side and I'm a GIRL." I said interrupting Elincia. ' my god, I'm clearly wearing a skirt yet people are too blind to see it. What the heck is up with that?' I thought to myself angry.

Meanwhile, a nearby potted plant floats up in the area for a moment before falling back down BLOWING UP IN A RAGE FILLED CLOUD OF FRUSTRATION AND HATE.

Marcia just blinked at me and with that the battle started. After a few a moments I was at the pathway where Geoffrey and the others were coming from.

"Your Majesty! We'll countercharge their flank! The Royal Knights will succeed again! Indomitable knights of Crimea, this is the hour you have trained for! Hold the line, and run them down!" he yelled

"yo Geoffrey, glad you could make it. My name is Meru and yes I'm the girl who took out Jarod" I said to him

"wait you're a girl?" he questioned

Gender Confusion Count: 5

"obviously. Anyways, see ya at the end." With that I left to go fight Ludveck with Elincia.

"You're the so-called red-coat boy who killed Jarod. I don't see how you killed him?" Ludveck said to me with a cocky laugh.

"FYI, I'm a girl and that's what Jarod said to me before I struck him down. So don't make the same mistake he did." I said with a glare.

"don't worry I won't"

Gender Confusion Count: 6

Damn, Meru must have a damn manly chin and shoulders or something.

I defeated him but Geoffrey decided to lock him up. Elincia decide to interrogate him to find Lucia and I decided to wait until THAT event started. While Elincia was talking to Ludveck a Crimean soldier interrupted and yelled "Your Majesty! General! W-we've received a missive! It concerns Lady Lucia!" we all went outside and saw what was goin on. ' let's get the show on the roll' I thought, but while walking I had this huge headache and thought I was goin to burst but after a while it went away and I just try to act as normal as possible.

No details on the fight this time? Fine, I'll just assume Meru threw a book at Ludveck in such a manner that it caused half of his skull to cave in while leaving him alive but permanently wounded and able to be interrogated or something equally ridiculous. Also, Meru has a headache, could this be plot relevant to her telekinesis? (Seriously, what do you think?)

"Queen of Crimea, we demand that you release the duke of Felirae! Refuse, and Lady Lucia will die!" a Crimean Rebel said

"No!" Elincia cried.

"You have half a mark! If the duke is not released by then, the girl dies!"

"Queen Elincia, don't listen to them! Don't worry about me!" Lucia plead to Elincia.

Elincia went back to the dungeon and talked to Luveck and after a while she came back and I got ready for the big event. ' its now or never'

"Rebel soldiers, hear me! Ludveck of Felirae, having conspired against the nation, will stand trial. As the queen and ruler of Crimea, I refuse to negotiate with those bent on destroying it." Elincia said to the rebels.

"...So you're going to let this girl die?" Another Crimean rebel yelled

"I will be strong, Lucia..."

"Tch... Kick, scream, beg... Give us a show, wench!"

"Your Highness! Your trusted friend will now die. Let this burn forever in your memory!"

"People of Crimea... Behold a true queen! YOUR queen! Long live Queen Elincia!" Lucia shouted.

I took out my sword and saw a gleam in the trees. When I gave out a shine they fired and Lucia fell backwards and Ike came out running and catched her. Soon after I joined the fight with Ike and his mercenaries. After the execution event we had a long talk.

Wait, seriously, Meru knew Ike's crew was there? Frick man, seriously, now you're approaching Miyako's level of omniscience. But really now, this fan fic sells the level of competence of Ike's Crew very short. They basically walk in and it's already over.

"Sir Ike... If you hadn't come to help, I would have lost one of my dearest friends. Thank you... Thank you ever so much." Elincia thanked.

"We were happy to do it. And Bastian pays well for mercenary work." Ike replied

"Bastian?"

"Yes. The count of Fayre knew about Ludveck's plotting before he left for Daein. Bastian guessed that if he left the country, the rebels would feel confident enough to make their move. What else would you expect from Crimea's top tactician? Well...Crimea's most deceptive old dog, at any rate."

I cleared my voice real loud for her and Ike to hear.

"what is it Meru? Oh that right. Ike this is Meru and she-"

"is the one who defeated Jarod and to repeat I'M A GIRL" I said the last 3 words slowly.

"you're uh girl?" he said dumbly

"yea I am. Note the skirt. Anyways I should mention that the Black Knight is still alive."

What a tweest!

Gender Confusion Count: 7

"What? That's impossible, I defeated him 3 years ago."

"well trust me, hes alive and I got to go back to Daein to do some things. I sort of have to meet with Fayt, Sothe, and Micaiah."

HOLD ON! Why the crap should any of you guys be trusting Meru? She's some random manly girl of vague origins that apparently knows everything ever. It's like a Mysterious Waif except poorly done since she's not particularly mystical. Also, what's Macaiah thinking right now? "When's my uber broken unit going to return?"

"that's right Sothe mentioned he was searching for someone, it turns put to be a girl eh?"

Of course not, he was looking for a piece of green haired wallpaper named Fayt.

"yep and I also know a few other things but I'll just keep sending out hints to you Ike. Oh by the way you'll be meeting 2 OTHER enemies not the black knight."

"who are they?"

"sorry can't tell. Got to get goin before something else happens. See ya!"

"bye…" he said sort of awestruck.

Oh come on! What the crap was the point in all of that Meru?

And with that I started to go to Daein. But on my way there my necklace reacted to something but that's probably going to mean something is goin to happen. " this is not good."

Meru: whoop-de-doo cliffhanger

Yuri: are you guys still mad.

Miyako: no in fact we were goin to throw pies at you

Meru: and maybe send you to a asylum.

Yuri: I'll do your chores for 3 months and cook your favorites food

Both: WE LOVZ U! X) *hugs Yuri*

Yuri: bribery always works anyways plz review and hope you like this chapter.
18th Jun '11 9:45:52 AM flag for mods
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