(The Man Called True sits in an armchair, head in his hands, as the Emperor and Golbez flank him.)
MCT: Oh, boy… this one’s going to hurt.
Emperor: Oh, suck it up. You’ll have to do this sooner rather than later.
MCT: I… suppose…
Golbez: At least you won’t be doing this alone.
Emperor: Much to my regret.
MCT: All right… let’s do it.
Emperor: Conjuring the fanfic.
>Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, but this evil teenager had a lot to do.<
Golbez: Does he always call himself an evil teenager?
>Enjoy.<
All: We won’t.
(It’s called “The Trap”)
>To see what had already transpired of Father and Him's plan, we must turn back the clock several hours, to eight o'clock in the morning of that very day, a time when all of the childish heroes involved were starting school, and only the Powerpuff Girls were worried.<
MCT: Pick a temporal basis and stick to it, Brian!
Emperor: I don’t think the word “childish” is supposed to be used that way.
>It was in a city...<
Golbez: Cornelia, the City of Dreams?
Emperor: Spatula City?
MCT: The City of Endless Night?
>The City of Townsville!<
All: Mine was better.
>Most of the citizens believed that the Powerpuff Girls were the only superpowered residents of this city, but recently, the Girls themselves learned otherwise. And members of the criminal element had known otherwise for a long time.
Guys like Mark the Shark, a mid-level crook in the underworld.<
MCT: Given the setting, this guy could be an actual humanoid shark.
Golbez: “Only superpowered residents”? Don’t most of the supervillains on that show live in Townsville or at least in the area?
>At this point, he was in an alley, staring with fright at a pair of green, catlike eyes.
A white paw, slammed his arm into the wall, and he dropped his gun.<
Emperor: We appear to have wandered into a horror movie, where disembodied eyes and floating hands roam free.
>"That's it, Mark," said his assailant. "Drop the nasty weapon. We wouldn't want you hurting yourself with it, now would we?"<
MCT: (menacing voice) Do you want to hear the rate of accidental firearm injuries?
>"Snowball, look," said Mark. "Why do you have to keep picking on me? I can make it worth your while to just lay off..."
Snowball punched him across the face.
"Money!" said Mark. "Jewelry! Uh, a really big scratching post?"<
Golbez: (Mark) Catnip! Large amounts of really high-grade catnip!
>"Not interested, Mark," said Snowball.
She bore her claws.
"Now word on the streets is that someone has it out for the Powerpuff Girls, and you have information about it," she said. "Start yappin' and you may just leave with your face still attached!"
"Look, I dunno..." said Mark.
Snowball slowly scratched down Mark's cheek with one claw.
"You either spill your guts, or I'll spill them for you," she said.<
Emperor: With only the barest modification, this could just as easily be a hero being tortured.
>"Why do you care about the Powerpuff Girls?" he asked.
Snowball grabbed him with both hands and shook hard.
"None of your business!" she said. "Now talk!"<
MCT: (Nicholas Cage) How’ditgetburnedhow’ditgetburnedHOW’DITGETBURNED?!?
Golbez: (Barricade) ARE YOU E-BAY USER LADIESMAN 217?!?
Emperor: What is it that they put into hot-and-sour soup, anyway?
>"The tuna factory..." said Mark. "Someone is building a weapon there to use against them... I don't know who or what it is..."
"Is it guarded?" asked Snowball.
"No," said Mark. "But they have a good security system..."<
Golbez: So in other words, yes, it is guarded.
>"That's all I needed to know," she said.
She dropped him, and he collapsed in a heap.
"See you around Mark," she said, as she leapt towards the rooftops.<
MCT: Or a square mark, if she feels like a change.
(She heads off to the tuna factory… and it’s a setup. SCENE CHANGE to the factory)
>An hour later, Snowball climbed to the roof of the tuna factory in question. She looked in through the skylight. Strangely, no one seemed to be about. The place was seemingly deserted.
She flicked open her claws, and slowly cut a hole in the window. She placed the glass cutout on the floor, reached in, and opened the skylight.<
Emperor: She then cursed herself on seeing the door was open.
>She carefully looked around. Security cameras were all around, but she could see where the blind-spots were. Getting around would be easy. All she had to do was find this weapon and sabotage it, just like she always did.<
MCT: Because gods forbid this be any sort of effort for her.
>She gracefully leapt to the ground, and moved through the shadows.
Now then, she thought, if I were a secret weapon in a tuna factory, where would I be?
The loading dock, most likely.<
Golbez: I fail to see the logic in this.
Emperor: You cannot see what is not there.
>She made her way around the cameras, through the shadows, and through the entrance to the loading dock. Once there, she saw a huge... thing covered with a tarp.<
MCT: IT’S A TARP! (Is promptly Sector Rayed and Flared)
>Hello? she thought. Target sighted.
She slowly crept towards it.
A humming noise reached her ears. An inner voice told her to jump.<
Emperor: Then it told her to lock herself in a cold, dark room and line the walls with tinfoil.
>Suddenly, a pair of lasers shot out from under the tarp! She leapt and dodged aside.
A huge tentacle with a claw-like pincer ripped the tarp aside, and the contraption was revealed. It was a huge mecha on tank treads, with two large tentacles. Atop was the cockpit, a dome of glass, and seated at the controls were two strange men, one of which had the facial features of a walrus (tusks included), and one who had the features of a buffalo (including horns).
"I believe we've found our target, Mr. Wink," said the walrus one.
"Indeed, Mr. Fibb," said the buffalo one. "Should we take care of this?"
"I do believe so," said the first.<
Golbez: And then they engaged in ridiculous amounts of homosexual subtext.
>Snowball backed up. This had been a setup!
"I don't know who you two are," she said, "but now you're going to see what happens when you make this kitty angry!"<
MCT: If it’s anything like when my cats get angry, she’s going to stalk over to a piece of machinery, crawl under it, and sulk for an hour.
>She paused.
"Uh, hold it for a second..."
She started to cough, loudly.
Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb looked at each other for a minute in puzzlement, as Snowball practically doubled over in a coughing fit. Finally, she spit something out.
"Darn hairballs," she said, gasping. "Now where were we? Oh yeah!"<
Emperor: Would a cat that size and of that intelligence really groom with their tongue?
Golbez: Also, that wasn't a Transformation Sequence. They should have beaten her down while she was still hacking.
>She uttered a cry that was half-scream and half-meow, and leapt towards the mecha's cockpit. She started swiping at it with her claws...
But she was unable to scratch it. Finally, she yelped in pain.
Ow, she thought. I think I broke a claw!<
(All three wince)
Golbez: The author seems not to have realized how much more that hurts for a cat than a human.
>One of the tentacles grabbed her, and she yelped.
"I had a cat once," said Mr. Fibb. "It isn't true that they always land on their feet."<
MCT: Though they won’t admit it.
>The machine threw her into a stack of crates, and she fell to the floor.
"You aren't going to go down so easily, are you?" said Mr. Wink. "We paid a lot of money to build this mecha, and we intend to get our money's worth."<
Emperor: If you want satisfaction, go to a brothel. Fighting heroes is not a cost-efficient way of getting such.
>"Even the Kids Next Door put up a better fight than this," said Mr. Fibb, as the contraption closed in.
Kids Next Door? thought Snowball. These weirdoes know the Kids Next Door?
She leapt up, and jumped to the rafters.<
MCT: Even giant mutant cats love heights, apparently.
>"Which weapon should we use next Mr. Wink?" asked Fibb.
"Why not that one, Mr. Fibb?" said Wink.
"Capital idea, Mr. Wink."<
Golbez: They should just make out and get it over with.
>He pushed a button, and a barrage of missiles shot from the mechas arms. they plowed into the ceiling, and Snowball plummeted to the ground. But luck was with her – cats didn't always land on their feet, but they usually did.<
Emperor: Which is why you should skin them before dropping them.
>"Take it easy, Mr. Fibb," said Wink. "Father specified that this thing was to be taken alive."
Father? thought Snowball. Who the heck is Father? Well, there's no way I can fight them like this...
"I'm out of here, guys," she said. "Whatever this Father wants, tell him I couldn't make it."<
MCT: (Mr. Wink) Then can you at least sign my timecard before you leave?
>"Oh no you don't," said Mr. Fibb.<
Emperor: (monotone) You’ll never get away with this. Nothing can stop me.
>The mecha's chest opened, and a dozen metal tendrils shot out. Snowball tried to avoid them, but one of them caught her arm, and after that, she was easy prey for the others.<
Golbez: Why they didn’t try that at the start is a question we shouldn’t expect an answer to.
(They report in to Father, lock her in a confinement compartment, and fly to Delightful Manor. SCENE CHANGE)
>Twelve noon.
In a city different from Townsville and Sector V's city, classes were in session in William Howard Taft High School.<
MCT: School team: “The Fighting Bathtubs.”
>Aside from being one of the select few former Kids Next Door operatives who had been allowed to keep her memory and aid the organization from time to time, Lotus was a normal teenager for the most part. She still went to classes and did reasonably well in them. She was technically still looking for Chad at the present time, but her leads hadn't turned up anything promising.<
Emperor: From what you told me about her, I’m amazed she isn’t at the top of her class, head of the cheerleading team, and leader of the student council.
(A boy named Phil asks her to a big dance)
>She looked at him. "Well, now that you mention it, I guess one night wouldn't hurt me too much, and..."
She looked at him hard. There were serious bags under his eyes.<
Golbez: (Lotus) Are those Louis Voutton?
>"What's wrong with you?" she said. "You look like you haven't slept in days."
"I haven't, much," said Phil. "My aunt and uncle are out of town, and my parents and I have to look after my bratty nine-year-old cousin. She's driving me crazy!"
"Define 'driving crazy'," said Lotus, giving him a stern look.<
MCT: Annnnnnnnnd cue the self-righteousness!
>"The worst," said Phil. "She insists on watcher her stupid girlie cartoons – which I have to watch when I'm in charge of her – my parents always yell at me to watch my language around her – I mean she's going to learn it eventually isn't she? – she takes all the good snacks, and my parents let her, and I can't step one foot in the house without nearly stepping on one her stupid Rainbow Monkey dolls."<
Emperor: All legitimate complaints. That’s why I worked to become immortal; it spares you the trouble of having to raise an heir.
Golbez: Children are children, and annoying behavior is annoying behavior.
>"Little girls are like that," said Lotus, trying hard to hide her anger.<
MCT: And despite knowing from personal experience that the metaphysics of the KND universe twist your mind when you become a teenager, she still puts all the blame on him.
>"Yeah, well if my parents wouldn't kill me I'd put her in her place," said Lou. "My aunt and uncle should have just left her in a kennel or something. That's what they should do with little kids these days."<
Golbez: He overstates it, but it’s still rather unfair to drop your offspring on your relatives.
>Rage was building inside Lotus.
"So anyway, what about the dance?" said Phil.
Lotus slammed her locker shut.
"Depends," she said. "I might go... if someone other than you asks me."<
Emperor: So, rather than try to change his behavior, she chooses to make a scene and act high-and-mighty. Our heroine, ladies and gentlemen!
(SCENE CHANGE to Lotus playing the world’s tiniest violin)
>As Lotus carried her lunch to the outdoor seating area, she had only partially calmed down.
She remembered back when she was in the Kids Next Door – Phil was exactly the type of teenager she and her teammates were always fighting with. Go out with him? She could never go out with someone who hated kids that much.<
MCT: And you perpetuate the cycle by dismissing him as a lost cause. Wow, the heroes in this story are terrible.
>It was a hard-fought war that the Kids Next Door were fighting. Sometimes Lotus wondered if it would ever be won – whether the descendents of the current operatives would finally triumph over adult tyranny so that children could finally sleep peacefully in their beds at night...<
Golbez: Does it not occur to her that the adults being overthrown would be the operatives of today?
Emperor: No one in this series has the logic God gave a chocobo.
>And as she thought this, she saw three streaks of light fly over the horizon. One was red, one was blue, and one was green.
Are those the Powerpuff Girls? she thought. What are they doing here? Guess I'll find out in a minute.
The three streaks flew towards her and came to a stop in mid-air, twenty feet away. Lotus gasped.
They weren't the Powerpuff Girls.<
MCT: Two more streaks joined them, and the Mad Midget Five prepared for battle!
>The fact that they weren't girls was the most obvious revelation, but these male versions of Girls looked incredibly sinister in their expressions.
"Yo!" said the red one. "You Lotus?"
"Yeah, I'm Lotus," said Lotus, pushing her lunch aside. "Who the sam-hill are you?"<
Emperor: Whereas a real teenager would say, “Who the hell are you?”, or possibly even “Who the fuck are you?”, everyone in this story talks like stereotypical old people.
>"Allow us to introduce ourselves," said the red one.<
All: We are men of wealth and taste…
>"We're the Rowdyruff Boys!" they said in unison.
"To my left," said the red one, is the master of mayhem, the sultan of slam, BOOMER!"
The blue one cast an evil grin.<
Golbez: Into the darkness?
>"To my right, the duke of destruction, the prince of pain, BUTCH!"
The green one flexed his muscles.<
MCT: It’s Butch Hartman! Run before he rehashes some joke about rich kids!
>"And me, the all-powerful, invincible, mega-indestructible, king of carnage, the one, the only, BRICK!"<
Emperor: You speak heresy, rotten child! I am the only monarch around here!
>"Well," said Lotus. "They're certainly the most flamboyant kooks I've ever seen..."
"We're here to kick butt!" said Boomer.
"Specifically, yours!" said Butch.
They charged at Lotus, and three punches landed at her face.<
Golbez: Fortunately, they managed to deploy parachutes in time.
>She flew backwards twenty feet, and fell over.
Why do superheroes always have to have evil versions of themselves running about? thought Lotus.<
MCT: Because otherwise there’d be no chance of even matchups in good-versus-evil pickup games?
>She hit a button on her belt.
Suddenly, her locker in the hallway swung open, and a secret compartment opened. Her sword flew out, and flew towards the outdoor eating area.<
Emperor: It killed five students before finally reaching the door.
>"Say Lotus," said Boomer. "Ever have a Hertz donut?"
"What?" she said.
Boomer flew up and blasted his heat vision, scorching Lotus. She screamed.
"Hurts, don't it?" said Boomer with a laugh.<
Golbez: That would have had actual humor value if he’d hit her with a tire.
>The sword flew towards Lotus and she caught it.<
MCT: Losing three fingers in the process.
>"I once swore to defend innocent children," she said, "but you three certainly don't qualify as 'innocent'!"<
Emperor: They’re demonspawn, so I will give her that one. But still, it chills the blood when you realize she could come up with that qualifier at will.
>She flicked the switch on the sword, and it gave off a blue glow.
She leapt up and made three slashes with her blade...
But the Rowdyruffs just laughed.
I couldn't even scratch them! thought Louts.<
Golbez: So Louts can’t hurt them, what about Lotus?
(The Rowdyruff Boys actually manage to overpower Lotus)
>Suddenly, one powerful blast from all three of them shattered the sword, and sent her falling on her behind.
The Rowdyruff Boys tackled her and mercilessly pounded her with her fists. Her last thoughts before falling into unconsciousness was how she was going to get in trouble for missing class...<
MCT: Not even an “ouch”? Come on, Brian!
>"C'mon," said Boomer. "Let's kick her around some more!"
They got around their fallen foe in a circle.<
Emperor: (holds his head in his hand) In light of previous chapters, this just does not read well.
>"BOYS!" said a commanding voice.
They turned around and saw Him's head hanging in the air.
"I specifically told you I wanted her alive," said Him.<
Golbez: A missed opportunity.
(They haul her away, and we SCENE CHANGE)
>And that brings us to the present.<
MCT: Well, that was a long flashback.
>The Powerpuff Girls had just finished telling the team about the break-in at the Townsville Museum, and Numbah One was thinking.<
Emperor: (Numbah One) If I kill them, will Numbah 362 buy that it was a suicide?
(The Priority Mission alarm goes off)
>But this time, it wasn't Numbah 65.3 or Numbah 86. Before them, a familiar shadowy face loomed...
"Father!" said Numbah One.
"Greetings, Nigel," said Father. "So sorry if I called at a bad time..."<
Golbez: (Father) I was hoping to catch you in the shower. Ah, well.
>"That's Father?" said Blossom, starting to shiver.
"Yeah," said Numbah Four. "He's the worst."<
MCT: (Numbah Four) He drinks milk straight out of the carton and waits until the last minute to pay his telephone bills.
>"How did you get this connection?" said Numbah One.<
Emperor: (Father) The information desk knows everything.
>"That's for me to know, and you to find out," said Father. "In the meantime, I think you and the Powerpuff Girls should come to my mansion posthaste. I have something you might want..."
He moved aside.
"Or should I say, some people you might want."<
All: HOOKERS!
>The camera moved to show a cell where both Snowball and Lotus languished. They had each been beaten to a pulp.
"Lotus!" said Numbah Three.
"Snowball!" said Bubbles.<
MCT: …should we do the Rocky Horror gag?
Emperor: Only if you want me to beat you senseless.
>"Come and get them, if you dare," said Father. "I'll be waiting..."<
Golbez: After six days, Father began to wonder if he had made a mistake.
(SCENE CHANGE)
>The five members of Sector V were in the arsenal. They loaded several weapons onto holsters.
"People," said Blossom. "You realize that this is obviously a trap."<
Emperor: Railroad plots. Where would we be without them?
>"We know," said Numbah One. "But we can't just leave our friends at the mercy of Father. There's no telling what he might do to them!"<
MCT: (Numbah One) He might make them sing the score to “Meet Me in St. Louis”!
>"Guys," said Numbah Two. "I have a way we might be able to get an edge against Father..."
He opened a large closet, and mist came out. Inside were three items that looked like flamethrowers.
"Remember how Father got all weak when he got doused with ice cream?" said Numbah Two. "I built a weapon designed to do just that – the F.R.E.E.Z.E.R.!"<
Golbez: Presuming that they don’t eat the ammo first.
>Kids Next Door F.R.E.E.Z.E.R.: Freon Refrigerated Edibles Emitter Zaps Enemy Rogue
"Three flavors," said Numbah Two. "Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry."
He strapped one of them on his back.<
Emperor: Immediately freezing his flesh solid.
>"Good idea, Numbah Two," said Numbah One. "Four, Five, you two are the strongest, you each take one of the others."<
MCT: (Numbah One) Thereby weighing yourselves down and leaving myself and Numbah Three without any weapons that can combat Father. Great plan!
(SCENE CHANGE to Father’s lair)
>"So Lotus," said Father. "Or should I say, Numbah 56... So glad we finally have a chance to meet. The Kid-Kat club and I were very close allies..."
"Just wait, Father," said Lotus. "Once they get here, you'll fail just like every other time!"<
Golbez: If this “Father” were truly to be feared, he’d set her hair on fire at this point.
>"Oh, I tend to disagree!" said a voice.
Him materialized next to Father. Snowball got up in surprise.
"Who are you?" said Lotus.<
Emperor: It’s Mr B Natural. Everyone run!
>"Him," said Snowball. "Bad guy – really bad..."
"Once our trap is sprung," said Him. "There won't be anything left of Sector V or the Powerpuff Girls – they won't stand a chance!"
"And once they're gone," said Father. "The Moonbase will fall to our mighty invasion force!"
They turned to leave, but before they did, they set a book down, twenty feet from the cell.
"Well," said Snowball. "That doesn't look good..."<
MCT: They’re going to broadcast a dramatic reading of Twilight! Those monsters!
(SCENE CHANGE)
>The S.T.A.N.K. drove up to Delightful Manor, and without any bit of finesse, rammed though the wall. The hatches opened, and the Kids Next Door and the Powerpuff Girls flew out.
The Girls stood ready to attack. The Kids aimed their weapons...
But no enemies appeared.<
Golbez: Just a lawyer with a bill for the wall in one hand and a subpoena in the other.
>"So where do you suppose they are?" said Buttercup.
"Likely the dungeon level," said Numbah One. "We know more about this place than Father thinks.<
Emperor: Don’t ask about “the Tuesday Night Show”.
>"This way."
With weapons ready, they made their way through the hallways, rooms, and passageways, until they got to a stairway going down.
"This is too easy," said Numbah Five.
"I hate it when you say that," said Numbah Three.<
MCT: Doesn’t Numbah Five usually have the “Oh, why’d you say that?” role in these exchanges?
>They took the stairway down a long ways, into the dark dungeon, where anyone who fell into Father's clutches ultimately wound up. Eventually, they came to the bottom.
They looked around, and slowly made their way down the rows of empty cells, past a variety of torture devices.<
Golbez: Copies of Atlas Shrugged…
Emperor: The complete works of Uwe Boll…
MCT: This fanfic…
>Suddenly they saw them. Lotus and Snowball were in a cell right in front of them.
"Guys..." said Lotus.
"Girls..." said Snowball.<
Emperor: Genderless beings…
>"Hang on," yelled Numbah Three. "We'll get you out of here!"
"NO!" screamed Lotus. "Save yourselves! It's a trap!"
"Don't you think we know that?" said Blossom. "But we're ready for Father!"<
MCT: (Blossom) The faster we get caught, the faster this story ends!
>"You may think you're ready for me," said Father's voice. "But nothing could ever have prepared you for what I have in store for you this time. Prepare yourselves for a trip – to my Isle of the Dread!"<
Golbez: (Father) And meals are not included in the fare!
>At that point, the book at their feet opened up, and the pages started to flip. A wave of magical energy enveloped the room, and the five operatives and three superheroes were caught in a void which started to spin!
Before Lotus and Snowball's eyes, their eight friends vanished, and the book closed.<
(All start singing)
''This book is made to order, but it isn't to be read: When they open up this book, they're sucked inside instead, To the most unpleasant place they've ever seen: The Magic Labyrinth of I.M. Meen! Very scary and confusing, destination of my choosing! Magic Labyrinth of IM Meen!''
>Father and Him appeared from their hiding place.
"What have you done to them?" demanded Lotus.
Father picked up the book.<
MCT: He’s taken up flower-pressing!
>"Well," he said, pushing it through the bars. "No harm in letting you know that. Read for yourself. But don't think that having the book will help you save them. It's totally indestructible, and once something is written in it, it can never be removed."<
Emperor: …he didn’t.
MCT: Golbez, on my cue.
Emperor: He DIDN’T.
Golbez: Ready…
Emperor: …You MORON! MY REIGN IS ABSOLUTE!
Hell Emperor: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!? YOU NEVER GIVE THE HEROES THE KEY TO YOUR PLANS, EVEN IF YOU THINK THEY CAN’T BE STOPPED! DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM HOWEVER MANY SEASONS OF THIS SHOW THERE WERE?!? AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A VILLAIN! A GODDAMNED IMP IS A MORE DANGEROUS VILLAIN THAN YOU ARE!
(Laguna jumps out of an Assist portal and shoots Hell Emperor in the chest, causing an EX Break)
MCT: Thanks.
Laguna: No prob. (leaves)
Emperor: …Sorry about that.
>"Let's go Father," said Him. "You have an invasionary army to summon, and I have eight children to destroy!"<
Emperor: I wish.
(SCENE CHANGE)
>After what seemed to be an eternity, the Kids Next Door and the Powerpuff Girls landed on a sandy ground.
They were on what appeared to be a tropical island, with palm trees and a huge mountain in the center, and strange monuments poking over the peaks of the jungles.<
Golbez: They landed on DK Isles.
>The operatives looked at themselves. Their weapons had vanished!
"Guys," said Numbah One. "We're unarmed!"
Blossom tried to fly, but when she tried, she only fell flat on her face.
"Another problem guys," she said. "I think our powers are gone too!"<
MCT: How odd. A magical trap designed to kill you has left you no way to fight back. Who’d have thought?
>"So perceptive, little brats," said a voice from above.
A cloud appeared overhead, with two glaring eyes in it.
"Enjoy the Isle of the Dread for an hour or so," said the creature, "for soon, its true horrors will be unleashed upon you!"
With a cackling laughter, the beast vanished.<
Emperor: (rubs his temples) You would think that Father, for all his stupidity, would at least have his magical deathtrap kill his foes instantly.
(SCENE CHANGE)
>Back in Father's dungeon, Lotus and Snowball carefully read the description of the Isle of the Dread.
"This is inhuman!" said Lotus.<
Golbez: (Lotus) They’re made to dress like can-can dancers!
MCT: Okay, villains, you’re excused.
Emperor: The chapter is not over yet.
MCT: You don’t want to see this.
Golbez: Come along, Emperor. We don’t want another EX incident.
Emperor: Very well… (They depart)
>"Our friends are doomed! And there's nothing we can do to stop it!"
They turned the page.
"Wait a minute..." said Snowball. "Wait a minute! Father left three pages of this book blank! There just might be a way..."
"How so?" said Lotus.
"We can't change what he's written," said Snowball, "but maybe we can add something to it – change the system. Add something that can help our friends. Maybe add an escape portal to the Isle that they could find..."<
MCT: (clears his throat) The fuck?!?
So he spent all that time coming up with a way to kill his victims with the magic book, but he left the last few pages blank? What, did he have an idea that just couldn’t be expanded to fill the entire book? Hell, he could have used the last three pages to give himself, say, the greatest car ever seen.
Even if he couldn’t come up with a way to fill those last few pages, you know what he could have done? First sentence, first page: “From this moment on, only Benedict Uno, better known as ‘Father’, may write in this book.” Unstoppable plan.
Of course, all this is moot given that he could have just NOT given them the fucking book.
Goddamnit it, I hate it when the heroes only win from villain stupidity.
So Lotus and Snowball conclude that a straight-up portal would be too obvious, Lotus (of course) comes up with a plan to save them and a pen to do it with, and they scribble their deus ex machine into the last three pages. Here’s how Brian ends the chapter:
>What dangers does the Isle of the Dread hold? What aid will Lotus and Snowball send their friends? What will happen next?
Stay tuned, and all will soon be revealed...<
MCT: Brian, I’m only “staying tuned” because otherwise the stress would kill me.
