You're only reading this because I rated the game 3/10! Let's read horrible GameFAQs reviews!

Ephraim 225

Black Angel reviews Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Guess who decided to randomly read GameFAQs reviews today! Do you like Harry Potter? How about Harry Potter video games? They don't make them like they used to, I tell ya. The newer ones are not worth playing in the slightest. Unless you want achievements. The earlier games were either passable or in some cases pretty good - even if they did pretty much boil down to clones of Zelda and/or Dragon Quest.

No I will not make an HP joke.

Once upon a time, there was a happy young man. This definitely wasn't me after playing this game.

It definitely wasn't me after reading this review!

Want to know why I hated this game? Read on, dear reader, and hopefully I can protect you from this abomination.

This is where the sane reader stops reading.

The only good part of this game is the graphics. Notice the 7 I gave it? I thought you did. The characters are quite ugly, but they remain true to the books and movies. (Frighteningly true to the movies, I may add.) A huge problem with the game is that it's so dark.

Use Lumos, moron.

But I did. The spells are quite horrible, but I'll go further into that later.

Turn the brightness up, moron.

Camera Angles: 1

ARGH! Bloody camera! Turn the right way so I can get my jumps right!

The camera angles are so bad I had to give them their own section just so I could shred them apart.

How bad?

Imagine Super Mario 64's camera angles. Then factor in even tighter squeezes and Harry's seemingly nonexistent jumping ability and you're in hell. Seriously. I was driven nuts in a section of the game that warrants nothing of any use by a ghastly camera angle that kept swerving and jerking. If you buy games for the camera angles, run as fast as possible from this... THING.

You know what, camera angles always seem to be a complaint in 3D games whether the camera actually is that bad or not. Or if it's an FPS.

Another factor of the game that was so bad I had to give it it's own section is the spell factor. The interesting thing about the spells is that spells like Lumos last for about 5 seconds, even after you charge them.

Except most of the spells are projectiles.

Even then, they are highly ineffective against most enemies. (Most common enemies are either invincible or extremely hard to kill)

If you can't kill something in this game you're either not using the right spell or you're not aiming.

And to make matters worse, you have to charge a spell for a certain amount of time or else it will backfire on you. Imagine fighting a very powerful boss, you've got the freak on the ropes and are charging a powerful spell to finish him off when suddenly you get knocked down by a backfiring spell and as soon as you get up, he finishes YOU off with a spell. Now imagine it happening over and over and over and over. Now you have a good idea of this game.

This is something that the game WARNS you about: don't charge for too long or it backfires! That's why you let go of the button before that happens!

I LOATHE this storyline. Completely unoriginal.

Yes, completely unoriginal, just like every other licensed video game!

It seems like EA games just copied pages from the book and labeled it Script for Final Solution... I mean, the Game If you've read the book you don't even have to play this cursed game from hell, you've already seen the ending. Probably with better graphics too.

Well what else are they going to do? Taking liberties with the source material is risky.

More confusing than being smacked upside the head with a spiked mace and then being forced to tightrope walk. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating... NOT. Like the N64 Legend of Zelda games, you select up to three spells and preset them to the X, Y and/or B buttons and cast them when needed.

That doesn't sound confusing at all. People liked Zelda 64.

But the number of spells needed and the situations you're thrust into will eventually confuse younger players and, in rare cases, older players as well.

Several people have beaten this game. It's not hard, or confusing.

The voice acting is acceptable, but in my book that simply means all the voice actors must die.

I would love to see what this guy thought of the acting in Final Fantasy X. Or even better, the C Di games.

There's always a boom or a crack that causes you to spin around looking for something, but always finding nothing because of the seemingly perpetual darkness constantly surrounding you.

These "booms" are commonly called "atmosphere".

Buy or Rent: Neither. Buying this will make you the object of ridicule at your school and possibly by your parents.

I seem to recall this being the result of ranting on the internet, but what do I know.

Gosh it's been awhile since I played this, I think I want to go back and do it again! Thanks, bad review!


(Insert a normal human male's laugh.)

MadWritter 29th Nov 11
Ah its nice to see this back.
Envyus 30th Nov 11

Oh man, what a buttplug.
MrMallard 2nd Dec 11
I happened to like the voice acting in FFX...
ManCalledTrue 15th Dec 11