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Ephraim 225

[table of contents]
Doodleheimer reviews Tetris Attack
Hopefully the game needs no intro. But in case it does: Sex, drugs, Yoshi. There. This is a "quick review", so it's of no use to anyone before AND after reading it.

Secret Agent Man

Why does everyone say the multiplayer is so good?

Wonderful opening statement.

Whenever you get a combo, you put extra blocks on your opponents side. You could do the same ****ing thing in Puyo Puyo.

And Dr. Mario. And Tetris. And Puzzle Fighter.

And it isn't fast-paced enough to be a good multiplayer game either. And this game is extremely boring.

And I can't stop starting a sentence with "and". And my attention span is shorter than my toe.

How is this game even related to Tetris?

Funny story: it isn't, but who cares.

The object of the game is to clear all the rising blocks from the ground and clear them all until you reach the stop line on the bottom. Anyone who's played this, the Game Boy version, or the Pokemon Puzzle games knows what I'm talking about. If somehow you don't, well then......*runs away*

A confused reader says "what?"...gotcha.

I hate the music in this game. This is not the music that should be in a puzzle game. The music isn't fast like regular games. Even the music theme from Columns is better, even though columns music isn't fast. Each theme in this game progressively gets worse and worse.

How do you get through Tetris Attack without hearing the panic music at least once? Search me.

The graphics are good, but the backgrounds are bad.

The backgrounds...ARE...graphics...

The animation is quite fluid, but they could have put more detail into the blocks.

A square with a symbol and a color in it? Needs more detail. Totally.

The levels tend to be dull. The did beautiful 2-D graphics with the Donkey Kong Country games, why couldn't they do extremely good graphics for this. At least it's the best-looking puzzle game on the Super Nintendo.

2D images of 3D objects don't really look spectacular to me, but I digress, let us move on...

The game is incredibly boring, and it just gets worse as you progress through the incredibly long game.

He must have only tried Stage Clear mode, which is kinda boring, but it only takes an hour or two to beat, really.

Level after level of boring fun. And Nintendo thinks the game will get better if they put Yoshi and a bunch of other people in it. The game is just bad, another incredibly bad attempt for Nintendo to make a bunch of cash. Hopefully it didn't work.

Know what, due to being a Dolled-Up Installment, it IS sort of a cash-in, but you know what I say? Some people need to be tricked into playing good games. Thanks, ROB, now get back in your box!

Bad game, don't bother buying it, the end. This has to be the worst puzzle game in the history of puzzle games. This game is horribly dull. The idea for Tetris Attack might have looked good on paper, but looks can be decieving. And why is this game called Tetris Attack? It has nothing to do with Tetris, besides being made by Nintendo and being a puzzle game. This game is pretty much the exact opposite of Tetris.

Wow, the worst puzzle game ever! And it had several sequels? Nintendo must be going nuts again.

Street Price-$11.99

Street price? The heck? I guess that's its going rate on eBay?

Reading this the first time made me feel drunk. Now I'm going to play Tetris Attack 'til I'm sober again.
31st Aug '11 12:24:34 AM flag for mods
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