You're only reading this because I rated the game 3/10! Let's read horrible GameFAQs reviews!

Ephraim 225

joselagu reviews The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D

Yes. You read that right. OOT 3 D isn't even out yet in the states (It's currently out in Europe and Japan) and already there's a 5/10 review for it. I don't have the game yet, but I have this feeling that the review's going to be taken down if I don't take a look at it now. I mean, it was posted the day the game came out in Japan. The reviewer speaks perfect English, so he must have imported it, and since the 3DS is region-locked, he must have imported THAT too....or did he? I mean, something doesn't add up here. The review even has a star next to it. This is like that Pokémon Black review I mentioned.

Not to mention this is also joselagu's only review posted.

Ocarina 3DS is the fourth re-release of the 1998 N64 classic Toki no Okarina (also known as Ocarina of Time in the West)

Already we're in hot water by claiming that OOT 3 D is a re-release, when it is, in fact, a re-make, with a new physics engine and better graphics. Believe me, the forum was ablaze with arguments over its status as a "port" or a "remake". Not to mention the Master Quest hardly counts as a re-release since it's a preorder bonus, and the VC is, well, the VC.

Once the main game has been completed, Master Quest is unlocked, except in contrast to the GameCube version, the overworld is mirrored and the enemies deal more damage. These changes do make Master Quest somewhat more challenging, although if you're a veteran of the game/series, you'll definitely make it through if you persist.

Just like any other game.

In addition, there is also a boss rematch mode that enables you to re-fight each of the dungeon bosses, but as a rearrangement of existing content, its appeal doesn't last for very long. Sadly, if you are looking for substantial new material, be it a completely brand-new dungeon, a major new sidequest, or a new inventory item, you won't find it in this game.

Ah, the OTHER Base Breaker. I highly doubt Mr. Reviewer here managed to finish everything in the game in a single day (keeping in mind the game and review came out on the same day.) so how he knows there's no new content beyond what HE JUST ADMITTED is beyond me. OOT 3 D could have no new dungeons and fans would still buy it - because it's still a good game on its own. I say this even though I didn't love OOT as much as ALTTP.

Looking back, OOT's dungeon design, especially the child dungeons, are comparatively simplistic and bare-bones, with staple elements such as torch-lighting and block-pushing making one too many reappearances.

Hm, how many times did I see block-pushing as a puzzle and not a temporary barrier? Once, maybe twice? Maybe I only remember a few times when you had to push blocks or light torches in an uninteresting way? As much as I dislike OOT for being very bad in the combat department, the puzzles were quite interesting.

The story isn't as well-told; the minigames aren't as varied and diverse; the locales visited aren't as exotic; and the dungeons aren't as intricately designed. This is why I felt it was especially important to take this re-release opportunity to bring OOT up to par with the other entries, but sadly this chance was forfeited.

Now you're just making shit up. They're using the 3DS's capabilities to MAKE the areas more exotic.

However, there are definitely more than a few textures that are still blurry and not quite up to par, including vines and brick walls. Overall, the game is not as graphically impressive as Resident Evil 3DS or Metal Gear Solid 3DS, and is still a ways off from pushing the 3DS to its limits.

Hey, what do you know. THOSE GAMES AREN'T OUT YET EITHER. Oh wait Resident Evil is out...IN JAPAN. Maybe he is importing after all. Metal Gear Solid 3, on the other hand, is STILL TBA!

For a game that highlights music in its plot,

Er, what? Oh oh the Ocarina...uh...moving on.

the handling of the music in this remake leaves much to be desired. Overall, the sound quality is a little better than that of the N64 original, but in the end, they're still the same MIDI tunes.

I heard from a European player that this is, in fact, true. Question is, how did the reviewer find out?

For a $40 re-release of a 12.5-year-old game, I think it is fair to expect at least a mini-dungeon or new sidequest, or something else that would be fresh to the millions of gamers who have already played Ocarina of Time.

Good thing you don't have to buy it. $40, hm? US currency? At any rate, I recall spending just as much on the original game. I mean, people spend as much on every re-iteration of Street Fighter and don't complain.

Anyways, the point of all this wasn't to white-knight OOT 3 D. The lesson to be learned from this review is: Don't post your review the day the game comes out in another country (even if you imported) and pretend you experienced everything the game had to offer, because odds are you didn't, and you look suspicious when you claim such.

Oh, and if iGenesis is reading, you didn't stop anyone from buying this. Ha-ha, suck it :P

UPDATE: So now that I've played the game, well, yeah, it has next to no new content. Still, the claim that it does nothing to improve upon the original's "problems" holds no water when you find out the Water Temple is far less annoying, text boxes scroll faster, meaning that Navi's not as annoying, and the controls are improved, too. So it's still a good game. Maybe not a great remake, but a good game. A few more reviews have been posted, and let's just say not all of them take this into account.


Just so you know, there are people who have had this game - in English - for at least a couple of days now. Early, yes, but the fault of the seller is not the fault of the buyer.
Sabbo 19th Jun 11
point still stands - a few days does not a good (non-commercial) review make. People who played the original could get to the end of this quickly, but somehow I doubt this guy did that.
TheOneWhoTropes 20th Jun 11