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Ephraim 225

Yami Shuryou reviews Digimon World

Ah, Digimon World! I have fond memories of this game from my childhood, and so do many other Digimon fans. Sure, it certainly wasn't as good as the next generation of Pokémon, but it was fun enough for anyone who wanted something like Monster Rancher but didn't have the patience for it. Heck, even Bandai loves making a Continuity Nod towards this game. Our reviewer today, however, has other ideas. Get this: he wrote TWO reviews for Mega Man Battle Network 3, one for each version! Why would anyone do that? Easy way to get two "separate" reviews under his belt I guess.

As if I wanted my next life to be in a world where this loser is allowed to post his "opinions".

''Digimon Digital Monsters Digimon are the champions Change... into a corrupted piece of junk known as Digimon World.''

That pretty much follows the basis of Digimon World. From the mass hysteria of the next Pokémon on the market with several highly unordinary twists to it, Digimon has reincarnated into a bad game. Bad. Bad game. Baaaaad game! Bad boy, here, bad game!

I actually don't recall Digimon World being hyped that much in this country.

Digimon World surprisingly starts off with the thought that it will be another high-tech polygonal game with the FMV, but it's the only cinema action that you'll find in the game. From then on, it's downhill with the graphics, with an arid amount of detail.

There are 3 FM Vs in this game: The intro, the opening scene, and the ending. Just pointing that out.

You set upon your journey with almost no idea of where the heck you're supposed to be going and what the heck you're supposed to be doing, and by darn, that loans a sense of injustice for a Playstation game if one were to ask me.

You sound just like someone who's never played a Metroidvania or exploration game before.

For those fanatics who think that a battle system revolved around Digimon could actually work, I hate to inform you that you are wrong. Before you even go into battle, you stop by the Green Gym conveniently located next to the File City, where you can train in several courses to increase varied stats. Yes, stats. They've brought it here too!

Oh my god, they put stats in an RPG! Those bastards!

After training in some things that make no sense – WHY ON EARTH would you need MP in this game, and JUST why would you get it by enduring falling water from a waterfall? - You can then feel set to go out and explore the world.

Why on Earth indeed. Why would you need MP in a game with several special attacks and such that cost MP? It doesn't make sense!

The second fault in the battle system before you even go to battle is an animé injustice. In the show, Digimon would be able to evolve and devolve as required, and up to Mega Class. Go west, Digimon World, the land of where things are corrupted. Go west. Not only was the game programmed to allow you to go no higher than Ultimate Class, one level before Mega, but you are also unable to devolve to a lower level. You CANNOT.

So you're saying that since it's not exactly like the show, it's bad? Well, short man, imagine if it WERE just like the show. I'd imagine it just wouldn't be as good! (And it isn't) Why do you even WANT to devolve anyhow?

OK, so you want to battle now, huh? Well, looking around for an opponent, you'll find *GASP* a RECOLORED DIGIMON SPRITE! Heaven forbid! Engaging in battle, you'll first be treated to an assortment of annoying beeps and boops, and then your music changes into… beeps and boops. Beeps and boops.

I've seen the "beeps and boops" complaint far too often. It's like people listen to shit music on their iPods and confuse it with the game's music. Kids these days.

After getting past the terrible attack sounds and the earsplitting scream of the main character (I recommend you listen to Metallica instead), you give orders to your Digimon to battle the enemy(s). You attack. You attack again. And again. And again. All the while, your opponent's just standing there dumbfounded, with an AI to match. Nevertheless, with the insane amount of sad damage to HP proportion in this game, you'll finally give up throwing various items to recover your Digimon's HP and MP and just use that charged up FINISH! attack that gets charged throughout the match.

I don't even know what to say about this block, he just SOUNDS like an idiot.

After you finally beat the enemy Digimon, you hear the character's victory cry. Now, does that not sound a lot like ‘FONK SHEET!' to you? Not only was this game censored, but the censorship was lame and pathetic!

...he says "Yatta!". Where the hell did you hear "FONK SHEET!"???

Besides that, you get a stat screen where some of your stats increase by pathetic increments of 0, 1, or 2, and then you look near the bottom. Here, you see “Ag” in yellow text, and nothing else. After some lag in the addition of your stats, it finally finishes “Agumon dropped Brain Chip”. Good lord! Just to get a stats-increasing item? Some of the translators must have had hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – the fear of long words – while others had the fear of short words!

Al l this for a minor bug in the game?

Your journey will eventually take you to the Great Canyon, and after going through some elevators in this place that just appear out of nowhere, and are also difficult to find thanks to a camera that has to stick from one point of view, you'll find a nest. Intruding on it, your game freezes! Heaving a deep sigh, you restart, and go to the nest again. Your game freezes again! Eventually, thankfully, you'll be able to fight the Digimon here.

Apparently you loved Final Fantasy VII, which has a similar camera problem, so I don't see what the big deal is. Not only that, the game freezes at the nest once in every, say, thirty thousand times you go there?

Digimon World suffers from many flaws. The idea of the game is actually fitting for the numerous amount of glitches in a digital world, with text bugs calling your Digimon “Gabumonmonmonmon” and the infamous, hazardous, deathly jukebox Playstation crasher. Giromon is evil! EVIL!

Hey, all those glitches suddenly make realistic sense! Thanks, crappy reviewer who whines about a glitch that can't occur until midway through the game and had no chance of getting that far without a guide that should warn him about the Game Breaking Bugs!

However, I do believe that Digimon World has one redeeming flaw: the system of building a city.

Redeeming...flaw..."REDEEMING" "FLAW"!!!

You like the graphics, correct? Well, in my opinion, you are right! *Is secretly manipulating you into dropping your guard while two white men sneak up on you from behind*

Put the knife down, son. These people are here to help you stop posting horrible reviews. Soon you'll be able to - you know what, screw this. You could have described the battle system instead of shitting all over it, but no, this game just didn't deserve it. Thanks for ruining a childhood memory with your ilk!

Now if you'll excuse me, my cyborg dragon needs to be guided to a toilet.


Apparently he's never heard of the time-honored martial-arts cliche Meditating Under A Waterfall.
ManCalledTrue 25th Apr 11