RED-HOT GLOBIN! Let's Play M&L: Bowser's Inside Story!

Endark Culi

Out of curiosity, is 'fifthly' an actual word? It doesn't sound like one...

Welcome back, for a relatively small update! And by ‘small’, while it’s still a big old wall o’ text, I make very little progress in-game. Not much has happened since the last update, save for [year 2009] Halloween, of course. I’m too old to go house-to-house, but when other people came to MY house, I was wearing a Luigi outfit and was handing out Nestle Crunch chocolates from a big cauldron. We had about 65 kids come this year; while it’s a good amount, and I’m glad we didn’t have to spend too much on candies for others, it’s paltry due to last year’s total. Curse all of these germs in the air nowadays…and speaking of germs, let’s see how the Bros. inside Bowser are fairing!

Last time, we had just found a save point, and I was about to try and get Mario a good stat boost. While min-maxing in this kind of game isn’t really necessary, I’d still like to be as good as I can be if I have the opportunity. And while it takes seven tries, I do get a reasonable boost of 5 Defence on my next level up. Why 5 DEF? Because the roulette wouldn’t give any option a +6 bonus, and Mario was wearing the worse pair of pants. Shortly after that, due to some weird coincidence, Luigi levels up two battles later and gets +5 in Speed (which is good, as he’s been moving after the enemies in battle). And without a single reset!

I also notice a couple of other weird things. Firstly, remember what I said about Bowser roaring ‘Nintendo’? During those 7 attempts to boost Mario’s stats, I found out that whether it’s Bowser or the Bros. say it is randomized. Of course, I doubt Bowser will say it until this point in the game, as he’s either unconscious or unplayable until then. And secondly, after I got those stat bonuses and pressed the X button so Bowser could save, the Bros. got ejected from the Trash Pit they were training in. This could be helpful if I’m ever in a situation where I need to restock on items ASAP.

It’s at this point that I think, hey, let’s continue the actual plot! So, right from the Save Point Bowser found, there’s a floating green brick. I use a ramp to get on top, and it starts floating to the other end of the room. I have to punch a couple of rocks so I don’t get pushed off of the thing, but it’s a fairly tame voyage. At the end, there’s a block with 3 Spicy Chickens in it, which are used to heal Bowser. But, I’ve got some questions, such as: since when have chickens existed in the Mushroom Kingdom? Is the chicken roasted, or Kentucky Fried? If you hit one with a sword, will you cause a giant flock of them to appear out of nowhere, causing you to die mere seconds later?

In the next room, I seem to be technically out of the cave, but still stuck in the dungeon. A few steps later, and…well, that’s unexpected. Mr. “I HAVE FURY” himself shows up, and says a bunch of zany things that I didn’t bother to remember. After all, he’s Fawful; everyone already knows his shtick. Bowser remembers the little wacko as the man who sold him the Lucky (?) Shroom from earlier; Fawful tells him said Shroom was really a Vacuum Shroom, which he invented alongside the Blorb Shrooms. Uh…I might not know much about biochemistry and the like, but how does one ‘invent’ a fungus? Heck, how’d Fawful learn biochemistry, and get the technology to perform it, in the first place?

Moving right along, Fawful summarizes his plan thus far. First, he invented the shrooms. Second, he infected the populace of Mushroom Kingdom with the Blorbs, just For the Evulz. Thirdly, though the chances of Bowser appearing right outside of his shop were abysmal, he had planned in advance for Bowser to eat the Lucky (?) Shroom. Fourthly, wait for Bowser’s Vacuum-induced rampage to take care of everyone in Peach’s Castle. And fifthly…this is the part we haven’t heard about yet, people…after locking away Bowser (unsuccessfully, I might add), he’s going to take over Bowser’s Castle too, for complete domination! Obviously, this ticks Bowser right off.

After a brief scene of the Koopa King’s castle being bombarded by FREAKING UFO LASER BEAMS, we cut back to Bowser threatening to end Fawful’s life in the near future. Wanting to deal with the Bowser problem without dirtying his own hands, he calls up Midbus, who we get to see for the first time. Unlike my original guess, that he was a transformable bus android, Midbus turns out to be a large pig with a spiked shell that looks a fair bit like Bowser. After managing to confuse Bowser (not a hard task, mind you) with phrases such as “I HAVE NO TASTE!”, we see how Bowser starts a battle. In place of a star of some sort, the Bowser logo (featured in all Mario Party titles) flies across the screens, and Bowser roars.

The first thing that happens in battle is that Midbus charges at me; I reflexively hit X and hit him, even though things were going a tad too fast for me to think about proper timing. Fawful unwittingly tells me how to control Bowser in fights (“Midbus, watch out for his punches of pain! If he charges it long enough with the X button…oh, the mere thought gives me a headache of concern!” …or something like that), once again proving that this game could have been made without Chippy the Exposition Fairy. Anyways, I do rather well, until Midbus pulls off a crazy bouncing move that’s literally impossible to block; the option doesn’t even come up. Bowser complains that he’s feeling after-effects from the Vacuum Shroom, the battle ends abruptly, and Midbus chooses to deal with Bowser later rather than worry about the galoot while he has yet to regain his full strength. What an idjit, eh?

After the foes leave, Bowser and his ‘inner voice’ Chippy argue over where to go first. Chippy wants to go to Peach’s Castle, but since they’re all trapped inside of him and unable to do anything to him should he refuse, Bowser wins the argument. Before the little scene ends, Chippy wonders aloud if the battle he’d just had, in addition to those after-effects he was feeling, might’ve caused a change in Bowser’s body. I was a bit tired at this point, so I opted to backtrack to the last save point, use it, and decide to re-explore the four parts of Bowser’s body for noticeable changes some other time.

Well, that’s all for now. Tune in next time, remember to post, and tell your friends! If you don’t, I’ll use a Death Note to disintegrate you! …By the way, if that threat actually works on somebody, I’ll have to owe [a Troper named] x0JohnDoe0x a favour.

Mario: Level 3, 30 Max HP, 13 Max SP, 24 Pow, 24 Def, 20 Spd, 25 Stache

Luigi: Level 3, 38 Max HP, 11 Max SP, 20 Pow, 31 Def, 17 Spd, 38 Stache

Bowser: Same as last time.