Let's Analyze and Graph Fetishes


Now with more head

DISCLAIMER: Anything mentioned in this liveblog is for humor's sake only (even if my sense of humor isn't exactly witty (or even that good)). Just ask me via private message and I'll remove any offensive content and keep it out in future entries.

April 19th, 2009, meaning it's a Sunday. Total posts for today is 75, exactly three pages. It's up from Saturday but still down from Friday. Perhaps Friday will be the main posting day?

Anyway, we open up with Fawriel breaking my heart with spoilers. I'm sure you'll find someone who genuinely loves you. Zetaseal follows up by talking about some book about a jerk who cheated on his sickly wife. Do I smell a derail?

Also, a section literally being labeled to much information. As such, I'm just going to ignore its existence and stick ahead to just enough information.

New comer: lee4hmz. A retroactive welcome to the thread for you. That being said, tropers seem to like to cuddle a lot. That being said, maybe I should look into analyzing one of the less sexual conversation topics on this forum sometime, namely the Cuddlepile. Marching on though...

We've got a side derail between Lull and Furiko. Technically started yesterday (in past time) with the whole suppository thing and evolves into a discussion on the definition of EVIL before becoming something vaguely Victorian English. Lasts 15 posts. Decent sized, but not nearly long enough to beat out our record of 19 posts.

Back to females and buttsecks, Norn goes ahead and answers English Ivy's earlier post about the female prostate. And links it to one of the greatest (and progressive) villains ever made.

(curses the idiots who refer to the prostate as the "male G spot", thus conflating the two and putting misinformation into this troper's head)

Happens all of the time and I wouldn't worry too much about it. Besides, everyone knows the female orgasm doesn't exist. Next page and Morven shares his wisdom with us. Apparently females can have enough sensitive nerves in the back to make it enjoyable. And apparently anywhere else on the body. I will now bite the ears of EVERYONE I see now, social normality be damned!

Anyway, we got another derail, this time about orgasms sprouting legs and walking around. Don't think too hard about it. Anyway, it lasts all of three posts. Sorry Orgasm With Legs, you were too good to last.

Plus, I now need to make a graph on the various levels of ewness. Hmm... However, this smells like another derail, I will call it "Fetish Desenitization". No wait, it went into Dan Savage talk. And then giving head and then to "what comes with the package of sexual dating". Maybe I should just title stuff by what they first derail onto.

Korg is the first to take a logic approach to the derail. Interesting argument, least to say, but then again, I can't see myself casting anyone aside just because they don't look oral sex. Then again, I usually value friends more than partners, so meh.

Anyway, now we're moving onto preferences on oral. It was the next logical step I suppose. And then onto gag reflexes. This why oral isn't such a good idea for the men to receive deep throating unless you know your partner won't bite down. Otherwise, you'll not only need a bucket but also some bandages.

Topic shift. And this train still isn't back onto fetishes. The men (and women?) are talking about giving oral to a woman. Hint for the aspiring straight male/lesbian givers out there, a woman's most sensitive spot aside from the G spot is usually (not always), the lips of the nether region. Go shallow, not deep. Men are the same way, go for the lips of the penis of just where the foreskin pulls back to. Why do I know this stuff? Anatomy class.

This is by far the most fucking surreal conversation I have ever been a part of. And I've talked to stand-up comedians while they were onstage.


Pfft. Surreal is when you're wandering through the woods with an old guy who tells you that crows fly on a different vibrational level of air than hawks, and same sex marriage is wrong because it perverts the natural energy/matter duality represented by men and women.

This is the kind of conversation I look forward to for some refreshing mundanity.

Desertopa wins one internet for his comment here.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder, now we have threads mating. Hot.

Wait- scrolls back. When did that happen?

Appears we've hit a new non-sequitar derail about Desertopa's lab partner. I'm sure we'll get back to fetishes some time soon.

Not yet, although he does talk about the symbolic and metaphysical importance of sex. Possibly it's only a matter of time.


225 posts on topic or so is a pretty impressive record for this forum, I'd say.

That totally has not been on topic. We've had like five derails so far and one that's going to extend more than a day. This topic is as off-topic as it gets.

grumble grumble

Meh, nothing much to mock today. Probably because the Aztec gods of sun and sky are having sex to produce another child of day.

  • Posts on 2nd day: 75
  • Number of tropers in this day: 18 (one up from yesterday)
  • Number of tropers all time: 33
  • Number of fetishes mentioned so far: 57 (surprisingly, no new ones)
  • Number of posts removed: 3
  • Number of derails: 8
  • Longest derail: 90 posts mainly about giving or receiving oral sex (and still going)
  • Troper with most posts that day: Lull the Conquerer with 13 posts.
  • Runner up: Furiko, with 11 posts.
  • All time most poster: Lull maintains the position with 33 posts.
  • Runner up: English Ivy in second with 24 posts.

Three more days and I'll have enough data to warrant some actual graphing and analysis. Awesome. In the meantime, remember that nature balancing everything with male and female, producing a sort of chakra that-

Meh, whatever.


When did that happen?

Around that time, Desertopa made an IJBM regarding his crazy lab partner, the joke was that the threads were starting to blend together.
Noimporta 21st Mar 11 (edited by: Noimporta)