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Let's Analyze and Graph Fetishes
Usht

[table of contents]
So I heard rabbits have a lot of them
DISCLAIMER: Anything mentioned in this liveblog is for humor's sake only (even if my sense of humor isn't exactly witty). Just ask me via private message and I'll remove any offensive content and keep it out in future entries.

April 18th, 2009

It's a good today in past world right now because it's Saturday. Despite this, the number of posts produced on 4/18/09 was 28 fewer than the number produced on 4/17/09, a Friday. Maybe people were just out doing other things that weekend?

Regardless, we open up to Fawriel applying a flat what just past midnight in California time. Just check the post, you'll see why.

Also, he, a guy slept with a lesbian once. Was that a sexual sort of sleeping or a cuddly sort of sleeping? And if it was sexual, wouldn't that mean that she was bi?

Anyway, New Comer (and the only one we'll get today): Lipucd. For the record, he likes bee women. It also gives me more to add onto my list of fetishes... 49 fetishes. I wonder who will get the magic number 50. English Ivy stops the topic from derailing. And just in time too, we've got a hint as to why Korg's fetishes/kinks are.

And what follows is a bunch of mentions about secret fetishes that no one is willing to share. Hmm... you're making my life difficult you guys and gals.

Korg:

Oh, I never pretended it was an uncommon one. It's just that about 50% of males tend to have a reaction that's a combination of Squick and Unstoppable Rage.

Hmm... now look deep into my eyes while I deduce what your fetish is...

Placing bets now: It's Pegging.

Another fetish dump. Congrats, Meat, Mad scientists is now the 50th fetish on my list.

# Certain mental illnesses, like FFI.

Umm...

Fatal familial insomnia (FFI) is a very rare autosomal dominant inherited prion disease of the brain. ... The disease's genesis and the patient's progression into complete sleeplessness is untreatable and ultimately fatal.

Romantic fetish you say? Cough. Yeap, moving on.

Anyway, apparently the 1900s men's dress is quite popular since they derail onto that and what it means to change your sexuality for... quite a while. Guess I'll need to keep count. So it starts at post #139.

Anyway, they start talking about how to turn yourself sexual or asexual. Apparently the general consensus is that you can't. Anyway Desertopa, I feel for you. Sort of, however...

However, I have been told that I set off people's gaydar like nobody's business.

I do that a lot too. I wonder why...

Anyway, radical change in point of view, Eldnah considers sexuality a horrible, horrible thing. Can't see why you'd think that when we have hot bodies like this.

Meanwhile, you people are confusing as fuck. What is quantum sexual even supposed to mean? A fourth dimension of sexuality? I don't even properly understand there being a second dimension.

Derail over. Onto next derail. That last derail lasted 19 posts and now it's the new longest derail. Now onto pregnancy scares. What follows is a lot of failed sex ed classes.

There won't be any pregnancy scares if you don't do vaginal sex.

Actually, if you do anal sex without a condom, it's possible for the stuff to leak out of the anus and end up in the vagina where it can, you guessed it, impregnate the woman. Oral sex? That'll take some wacky hi-jinks for the semen to end up in the vagina at least.

Your roommate needs to use condoms, then.

Condoms degrade and can rip during use. Thus why they have like a 95% block rate on average. I'd recommend the combination of a pill and a condom to drop your chances of getting pregnant to below 0.5%.

My cousin lost her virginity at 13. She's been having pregnancy scares ever since. She even wrote down names in her journal.

Really now? I wasn't even looking at porn at that age. I never look at porn. EVER.

Yeah, oral and anal sex can be pretty awkward. Oral sex involves licking someone's penis, which, oh I don't know, is rather strange seeing as that's where urine comes out of. Plus, from accounts I heard from, it isn't exactly what you'd call good tasting. Ball sweat and all, and that's before we get into deep-throating and gag reflex problems. Anal sex, on the other hand, the hole in your butt is a one way street, meaning that attempting to get something in there is not natural, so you often need lots of foreplay before hand, lubrication, and several days, if not weeks, of practice to loosen it up. And Knowing Is Half the Battle.

Gosh darn it, English Ivy, do I need to start a count for how many times you're wrong about women? That's number three!

Plenty of sex myths here... is there an expert on the subject between us tropers? I mean, not a sexaholic... an actual medic or something like that.

Yo.[[/wannabedoctor]]

After my bout with rectally-inserted stomach flu treatments at the age of ten, I think it's safe to say that... nope. Not happenin'.

<_< So they look like bullets.

Okay, there's... absolutely no way I can say something flirty in response to that without sounding massively creepy. It is a scientific impossibility.

I'd rectally insert my-

I'll stop this entire thing right there. Time for math:

20th Mar '11 2:05:19 PM flag for mods
comments
I definetly want English Ivy to see this. :P
juancarlos11 20th Mar 11
Okay, I'm sorry but you just seem to be making fun of the thread and everyone in it. Liveblogs are meant for amusement, they're not your platform to make fun of people.

And furthermore, it's not even funny.
SpainSun 20th Mar 11
So...y'know, tone it down.
SpainSun 20th Mar 11
Chill Spain, it's just lighthearted mockery, and many of those people don't even post anymore.
Noimporta 20th Mar 11
I remember making a few brief posts in the Fetishes thread, and then leaving. Oddly enough, I think those posts and most of my posts in ITT: ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!! are the only thread posts I made in my early troping days that I didn't regret later on, though it could be that my memory's fuzzy and I said something stupid.
AwesomeZombie22 20th Mar 11
issue's been resolved

MOVE ALONG, NOTHING TO SEE HERE >_>
SpainSun 20th Mar 11
Pity I don't come along for the better part of a year.

Then again, I don't think I want Usht to poke fun at my posts, I was a tad na´ve with some of them...
MrAHR 20th Mar 11
Your Honor, I plead Dork Age.
EnglishIvy 20th Mar 11
I fear the day when I have to do the same when someone decides to go meta and liveblog this liveblog.
Usht 20th Mar 11
@Ivy: Your motion passes. You're free to go.
juancarlos11 21st Mar 11
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