Part Twelve: Should Have Chosen Onix
Okay. So, where were we? (Sees the bulldozer) OH SCREW YOU!
Part 12 of 13
We start off with Jafar pointing out that Pooh and his friends do NOTHING
to the plot. Wow, we are really going to start with a character pointing the major flaw to the entire franchise out? Give me a good reason for me not to start watching the Seltzerberg movies, because at this rate, those look like better crossovers than this. Laura points out that she still has one wish remaining. What? You just said that you used your last wish for the stupid bulldozer! Okay, so I guess it was Steve’s last wish. This means that Max has two wishes left. How is Max doing anyways? Oh, he just happens to be tied up by an I-beam. Now, why doesn’t he use his two remaining wishes to free himself from this mess? Laura points out that Jafar can’t reach them. Okay, so I guess yelling out the wish or having a head bob is out of the window. Soon, Scooby Doo pulls off a Big Damn Heroes
moment, and no, it doesn’t involve roses. Here comes another awkward piece of dialogue: “STEVE... and Jafar... and Maleficent (“No! It cannot be!”)... LOOK OUT!” Really? It sort of slows down the climax of the whole thing. A better version would be a fast paced. “STEVE! JAFAR! MALEFICENT! LOOK OUT!” Why the sudden pause between Jafar and Maleficent? So they get pwned, the lamp falls into lava... Wait... LAVA? WHERE WAS THERE FUCKING LAVA... oh wait, I have to assume that it didn’t fall in lava but into an abyss. SALF-Tachi runs off, Maleficent calls them out for it, and they get captured. Tennessee manages to pull off one more Crowning Moment of Awesome
and picks up the lamp (after it fell down a bloody pit) and tells Jafar to go back into the lamp and stay there for another 10,000 years.
Alright, show of hands, who wants Tennessee to be our new protagonist? So Buster calls out Shaggy for not believing him. The gang awes Amber, who now talks. Despite the fact that they are surrounded by talking lions, humanoid aardvarks, and living teddy bears. Francine also comments that it’s something you don’t see every day. So wait, a talking lion, meerkat, and warthog doesn’t surprise you, yet a talking dog, which The Mystery Gang has, by the way, does? Hell, Tsukasa in the comments points out that Scooby talks. Tell me again why I have to watch the video and not read the comments, which are far better than the movie itself? Then a beam comes in and it is time for Crystal and Amber to be Put on a Bus
. I mean go, and GOD DAMN IT POOH! STOP AWEING AT EVERYTHING YOU SEE! Okay, so Fred cries and all of a sudden, some finger puppet, I am not making this up, comes up and says “Crying is for little girls, babies, and men who just had their ears ripped off!
” WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY? You’re telling me that the whole time, some finger puppet was following the gang? Do you know how many jokes I could make? Instead of asking “why didn’t (insert character here) freak out over (insert character here)” I would be saying “DUDE! YOU’RE TALKING TO A TALKING FINGER PUPPET!” Maybe it’s something Ttark added in to make it funny, much like how a TGWTG reviewer adds clips in to make their reviews funny.
Okay, that is the end of part twelve. One more part remaining...