Twilight: Of Sues, Sparkles, And Other Things Beginning with S

Yon Troper

Chapter 6: In Which Jacob Is Awkwardly Shoehorned In For A Cameo

Chapter 6: Scary Stories (Yeah right. Who you gonna believe, S Meyer or me?)

Bella starts out the chapter reading the third act of Macbeth. Is that symbolic? (Goes and looks at Macbeth) Nope. Damn, I was secretly hoping Meyer would awkwardly shoehorn some Shakespearean symbolism into the book. That would at least make some decent Narm, which, aside from the "full of butterflies" comment, this book has been sorely lacking in. And Edward somehow delivers the truck to the house without making a noise with the engine. How in the - ? You know what, never mind. Bella's not looking forward to Friday, and it lives up to her "non-expectations". Meyer, don't make jokes, you were born without the witty banter gene. Then Bella keeps hoping Edward's going to be at school, even though he quite clearly said he wouldn't be. Yeah. Then Lauren makes catty remarks about how Bella (she sneered) should just sit with the Cullens from now on. Then Bella notices, just then, what a high, nasal voice she has. Yeah, that Lauren, she has a nasal voice and she sucks! Wait, who's Lauren? (I know she was mentioned earlier, but she's done nothing so far.)

Charlie seems enthusiastic about Bella's trip to La Push. Bella thinks tells the reader that he feels guilty about leaving her on the weekends, and of course, she's right. But personally, I think he's glad to be rid of her. Also, Edward's camping trip at Goat Rocks is surprising, because it's not good for camping. I guess it's because he's drinking blood from bears. That is, grizzly bears, which don't live on the Olympic Peninsula. (I've been doing research on the area for this liveblog, and it's obvious Meyer's done none.) The next day, Bella meets Labrador Mike and the other people she doesn't care about by the Newtons' sporting goods store, and the only interesting thing is that Mike seems to believe she'd invite Edward. (Actually, Mike seems OK. How great an ending would that be - Bella decides she doesn't want to be a vampire, and marries Mike? Nicely subversive and sorry, tangent.) Also, CHAGRIN.

Bella actually seems to LIKE First Beach. Imagine that, her liking something related to Forks (alright, tangentially, but still). And the tide pools, too! Oh wait, she complains about the woods being too ominous. So that's all right, then. Who doesn't love Bella complaining about stuff? Anyway, Bella goes to the tide pools, and when she gets back everybody's eating and talking with the Native Americans from the La Push reservation. It should come as no surprise that Jacob is one of them. If I remember rightly, this is about his only significant appearance in the book (did he have anything to do with the fight with the nomads? I don't remember. Help me out!).

Jacob talks to Bella. She thinks he's hawt (and from the description, he does sound better-looking than Edward), but when he asks "You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" her "opinion of him is instantly damaged". OK, what? How could just asking that damage her opinion of him? Anyway, Bella used to socialise with Jacob and his sisters when Charlie and his father Billy went on fishing trips, but they never made very good friends and Bella's tantrums soon ended the fishing trips. I'm sure Charlie and Billy loved the trips, and could have just got babysitters or something, but hey, who cares about them? But this time around, Jacob seems to hit it off with Bella, and they talk about Bella's truck. Lauren snipes at Bella again for no reason, saying it's a shame the Cullens couldn't come, but Sam (one of the older Quileute boys) says "They don't come here," in "a tone that closed the subject". Ooh, drama! Drama we won't see in this book!

Bella flirts with Jacob to try and get information out of him about the bad blood between the Cullens and the Quileutes. This method of extorting information has always left a bad taste in my mouth anyway, but when Jacob actually has a crush on her (as seen in New Moon), it comes off as especially cruel in hindsight. As it turns out, the Cullens aren't allowed on the reservation, and then Jacob tells us the "scary story" of the chapter's title. It's not very scary, though.

There are legends of beings called "cold ones" - vampires, to you and me. The Quileutes are forbidden to kill wolves, because "they are their brothers", and the vampires are werewolves' enemies. Jacob's great-grandfather made a pact with the Cullens that, since they didn't kill humans, they wouldn't expose them as vampires if they stayed off Quileute lands. Yep, Jacob's revealed that the Cullens are vampires, and Bella STILL DOESN'T TAKE THE HINT. GAH.

Even though Bella flirted with him to get information out of him, she feels guilty, so of course that makes it all better. After the story, Bella and everyone else pack up to go home because it looks like it's going to rain. Bella, when sitting in the car, closes her eyes and tries not to think (about what she just heard). Bella, sweetie, you don't have to try not to think. It comes naturally to you.


Mooooooooreeeee xD 23rd Mar 11 25th Mar 11
Yeah, kinda snowed under with work at the moment, but I am going to update tomorrow even if my arms get sawed off at the elbow. Promise.
YonTroper 2nd Apr 11
this formatting works wonderfully if you don't want to redlink something.
cheeseypoofs 3rd Apr 11
sorry. this formatting (no spaces.)
cheeseypoofs 3rd Apr 11