I used some of the down time to get up to Champion rank in the arena. Believe me, you missed nothing.Man, it's hard to believe that just yesterday I walked in here with a dream in my mind and the intent to commit mass murder and now they've run out of people for me to kill. Well, except for that one oddly tinted Orc. Ah well, I guess I'll come back later when I feel like kicking his ass.
Awwwwww, I guess I have to go to Kvatch now. Man, I hate Kvatch. Last time I was there people threatened to give me "special treatment", and they kept opening their doors and showing me all this nice food and stuff to try and get me to come in. I could see past their smiles, they were all out to get me. Everyone's out to get me, but I don't need anyone but me, myself, and I. And when I rule the world, which is inevitable, I'm going to make them realize what they've done.
Some fast travel and some absurdly paranoid ranting laterAnd another thing... woah, it's kinda dark out here. And there's an Elf running right toward me. Great. I already hate Elves enough as it is, but now I'm at Kvatch, so we're up to two things nearby that I hate. Why don't we just combine it with panicked yelling and shouting while we're at it?
Ha... hahaha... HAHAHAHA. FUCK YOU, KVATCH! FUCK YOU AND YOUR "SPECIAL TREATMENT"
◊
I mean, what if he is dead? Like everyone...
◊ Pfft... Aha... HAHAHAHAHA. I can't get over this. Sure, the Emperor's son may be dead which by extension means we're all going to die, but... just fuck you, Kvatch. It all worked out in the end.
Man, I want to see this for myself. I'm going in.
Oh wow, it got really bad out here really quickly
◊. I hope it doesn't spread to other places. Don't get me wrong, I hate everyone, but if they die, it won't be any fun to rob them and then murder them. Partially because they will already be dead and therefore will not need aforementioned to-be-stolen-goods and murdering. I guess I better see if WHOA.
◊ Hey there... giant hell anus.
Oh, listen to you, Mr. Hold-The-Line-Like-A-Jerk. If I want to go into Kvatch, disturbing hellgate or no, I will walk my kick-ass self into Kvatch.
Ah, he's panicking. Everyone here is panicking. Man, if I wasn't around, no one would ever get anything done. I'm super important to the continuation of sentient life as a whole. Man, whatever, I'm going to go show this "Oblivion gate" (what a dumb name, am I right?) who's boss. YEAH!
Okay, so just walk up to it and... do something... and we'll be inside. Okay, simple enough. Here goes, going to keep my eyes closed. Who knows what kind of stuff will be flying through there while I'm heading through, I don't want that garbage anywhere near my eyes. Okay, that wasn't so bad, a little warm but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
◊ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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... Okay, it's not that bad. It's kinda like normal outdoors, except with more lava, spikes, and death, but less bears.
Well, I guess I should figure out how to get into those towers in the distance. I guess I'll just walk down this path here, shoot some... whatever these things are along the way, maybe find some crazy demon chicks to follow me around. Yeah, that'd be awesome.
I wonder if they have different diseases.
Okay, I'm in.
◊ Now just to... Uh...
What do I have to do in here? Aw hell, I'll just wander around until I find what I need to do. Man, what is up with these guys in the armor. Their faces are all red and nasty. If that's what their women look like too, then I don't want any of that. I guess I'll just keep going up, and up, and... oh... This one's locked. Doesn't look like I'll be able to pick it, either. Couldn't make it easy for me, could you?
Oh well, that key has to be around here somewhere. Let's go across this bridge and see what's over here.
Some Jerk in a cage: OVER HERE! QUICKLY!
Was I that conspicuous? I really need to work on sneaking around more. Oh well, thanks for giving me away, jackass. Now I have to put two more of my valuable arrows into some whatever-the-hell-these-things-are. It's fine, I got the key. Apparently I've got to get to the top of that tower so I can take some stone or something stupid like that. Thanks for the advice, asshole, now I hope you rot.
Huh. So that's what one of those sigil things looks like.
◊ Ominous. I like it.
Oh well, mine now. And suddenly everything's on fire. Well, everything except me. Why? Because I'm just so awesome that even fire backs the fuck up.
I know that sigil stones can be rerolled by saving and then reloading, but frankly, that just feels like cheating. Since I'm already playing one of the most powerful race/class combinations in the game, I'm going to try and shy away from stuff that would further break the game, as difficult as that is. So yeah.Man, whatever, I'm out of here. I guess I should tell that pansy-ass guard that I fixed his shit. Oh, great, first you want me to get rid of the scary, red hellhole and now you want me to go fight some more of those things in a city I hate? Screw that, I'm going to go take a nap. I've got to take this all in before I bother doing any of that.
