Part Final: The Pooh WarsThree things happened when we last left off Pooh and Friends.
The first, Mr. N is turned into a crow. The second, Kelly is kidnapped. The third, Pooh and Friends must race against the clock, or else Sophia will be trapped in the house forever.
Now, aside from giving out good recommendations, the doctor also said for me to show you parodies of Pooh’s Adventures. I shall show two that have been making me crack up after I have seen them. Pooh’s Adventures Of Watchmen
and Pooh’s Adventures Of The Sawshank Redemption
. Again, these cracked me up so much. Go check them out as well. But now, it’s time to get back into the video.
I will tackle both Parts Seven and Eight for this one as eight is very short.
Part seven of eight
Alright. So Agatha and the others confront the group and exchanged Kelly for the Moonstone in the most predictable way ever
. However, Mr. N snatches the Moonstone and cue the “RUN!” clip once more. And so a chase begins. As I subtly pointed out in part five, Chase Scenes
are sort of anticlimactic when you have characters that possess super powers. Let’s have an example. Pooh and his friends have Pikachu. He could just use thunderbolt on the party and it would have the same effect as it did on every single episode of Pokemon ever
. Or Mewtwo. I already pointed out how he could just use his psychic powers to levitate and fling them across the room. Staypuff and Zilla are both gigantic (speaking of which, how the hell do they fit in the houses) and can just squish them, Zilla also has an atomic breath. Boba Fett has a gun
. And let’s not forget Darth Vader, who can, oh I don’t know, CHOKE PEOPLE FROM A DISTANCE! HE ALSO CAN USE LEVITATION POWERS! Let us not forget the villains as well. Bowser has fire breath, which he can use to burn the house to the ground. Before you say “well then they’d die in the fire”, let me remind you that his son’s girlfriend has water-based
powers that can put out the fire. His wife is a Person of Mass Destruction
, for fuck’s sake. The Magician could just fire a few blasts at the heroes, and boom, roasted Pooh. Samhaeim is a ghost, as he can just phase through walls, and could just set up an ambush. Hell, since they are in the lead, why don’t the Ghostbusters (who at this point are the true heroes) set up a ghost trap? Yes, I do know that they can just block Agatha's path, but she can just turn them into small creatures, which she does to Simon and Oscar. And yeah, the twins blocked the door to the room, but like I said, Bowser. Fire. Wood.
Let’s finish this before I Rage Quit
again. So The twins do the incantation to free Sophia and trap Agatha in the house. They tell Bowser that his witching days are over. Yes, they actually talk to Bowser... Why didn’t they talk to Pooh and his friends? Why? Arg... Almost done. Almost done. Almost done. Mustn’t run away. Mustn’t run away
. Mustn’t run away.
Okay. So Bowser sicks the Magician on the twins, but the Ghostbusters set their blasters to full stream and show
that prehistoric bitch
the Magician how they do things down town. And... Wait what? He is actually showing the Magician getting attacked by the blasts? I don’t care if it’s MS Paint
, after video after video of Pooh, his friends, and his enemies clearly doing NOTHING
to the movie, seeing this happen is awesome
. So Samhaeim and the Magician get sucked into Mewtwo’s Ghost Trap, and there was much rejoicing. Bowser Rage Quits
The good fairy congratulate Simon on standing up to Agatha However, Darth Vader ruins it with this line.
: Oscar, you were, as you earth humans would say “Fabulous” tonight.
See a problem? VADER IS A HUMAN! I don’t care if he was from another planet, he is a human, not a fucking alien! *
but that idea always perplexes me]] Okay, since I am pissed off now, let me show you some fail. Look at Lynn (the Olsen in the red coat) right before Tigger speaks. She was opening her mouth. After Tigger finishes speaking, her mouth stays closed. Want to know what happened? Tigger stole her line. In fact, I bet Vader took the line he said and filled it with fail.
You know what? This movie fails! Sure, it has a few good bits in them, but let me bash this fact over your head once more: FEW AND FAR BETWEEN! THESE MOMENTS ARE RARE! Pooh barely does jack shit
, and leaves the day to be saved by the Ghostbusters! Hell, Pooh and his friends barely do jack shit! All they do is comment on stuff, say the obvious, suggest something that characters in the film were about to do, or downright steal lines in order to give the slightest illusion that they are affecting the film. The protagonists constantly ignore them, while the antagonist is chatting up a storm with Samhaeim and Bowser. Our heroes forget that they have superpowers until the plot requires them to use the powers. Potentially better plots, like the Battle between Samhaeim and The Magician vs. Staypuff and Zilla, are ignored in favour of keeping with the movie, and when your comments have better stories than your video, there is a huge problem! You know what the worst part is? This guy’s planning to do more. How many? TWENTY ONE!
HOLY SHIT! AND THIS GUY ALREADY HAS A HUNDRED VIDEOS UNDER HIS BELT! THAT DOES IT! I AM DONE!
: No, you are not.
OH FUCK OFF! Yes. There is more. There is a stinger
Part Eight of Eight
So we are in Bowser’s fortress. He’s moping on how his ass keeps getting handed to him by a fluffy bear he could just incinerate. I like how almost every time he speaks, the encounter sound from Metal Gear Solid
plays followed by Bowser’s growl. So yea, his mistress
suggests that he should get someone who is more powerful. And wouldn’t you know, someone shows up. Bowser demands to know who he is. The clip shows this mystery person.
The stock sound that is associated with kung fu, the one that goes “YOUWANWOOOOOOOH!” plays as we see the shadow of a man in samurai armor approach our Koopa King. We then see his boots, with three hooked spikes on each one. The camera pans as we see... No way...
IT’S SHREEEEEEEEEEEDDEEEEEEEEEEERRRR! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
He offers Bowser his assistance, he accepts, and they both walk to... THE TECHNODROME? FUCK YES! SIGN ME UP! YES! YES! *
And the next video this guy makes? POOH’S ADVENTURES OF TURTLES FOREVER
! YES! THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME! THE TURTLES ARE GONNA KICK SO MUCH ASS... While Pooh and his friends just watch... and comment... and do nothing... ...
You know, it's a crying shame when Turtles Forever
does a better job at showing what happens when people actually see freaks of nature
than this series.