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Part 0: Interesting Factoids You Can Skip If You Really Want
Hello and thanks for reading! I’m Ronka. I love animation and hate Dingo Pictures; the two are related. Dingo Pictures (DP) is an “animation” studio from Germany that producers mock busters (rip-offs) of animated movies— mainly Renaissance Disney and other 90s-era films. I put animation in quotations because they don’t so much “animate” as “mutilate paper on film.” And I say “film,” but I’m pretty sure they record on tape. And I say “mutilate,” but only because I don’t feel comfortable comparing cartoons to eye rape. Their movies are awful. Really, indescribably awful. Bad scripts, bad stories, bad characters, bad pacing. Bad designs, bad backgrounds, bad animation, bad synching. Bad dubbing, bad looping, bad music and bad, bad, bad, awful reused art. Long story short: They are shit. They’re actually worse than shit, but if I say more I risk ripping off the Angry Video Game Nerd. Short story long… Well, that’s what the rest of this is about. I’ve already analyzed Anastasia and dug into Dinosaur Adventure. Both experiences left me mildly traumatized, but I am a glutton for audio-visual punishment and so here I am, back in action, rip-roaring, ready to go, and other clichés. I’ve got the movie ready, my word processor open, and my will prepared. I’ve set my eyes on the prize of that company I despise. How will it compare to those that came before? Let’s find out together. Heeeeeeere’s Let’s Watch: Animal Soccer World! Or… Animal Soccer Match! It goes by both, apparently. See, on the site it says “Match”, but on the movie it says “World”, and… damn, that— that stole my thunder, didn’t it? I had this big dramatic introduction planned, with the title of the thread in bold letters, and it just fizzled. Curse my obsession with including all pertinent information, regardless of overall post flow! Curse it! Before we continue, some stats: Famous Movie They’re Ripping Off: Seems to be Bedknobs and Broomsticks. At least, there are cartoon animals playing soccer in that movie. Ronka’s Sanity Status: Normal. Mildly excited but bracing for impact, like a fat kid about to do a belly flop off the high dive. Minutes Left: All of them. Let's do this thing.
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