So, yes, according to the order I've been recommended, we're not
going to find out what's up with that dead guy on the island yet, but rather, we're going to view the other
episode on the disc.
Kyon tells us about something that happened during final exams. Haruhi, who suffered a bout of melancholy (first time I've heard that word spoken in the series) during Tanabata, recovered from it well enough to do what she wanted. However, it seems Kyon himself caught it. Haruhi, as usual, had time left over afterward, and was sleeping soundly 30 minutes before the test time was up. Kyon found this annoying.
("Bouken desho desho?")
Haruhi's belief is that the SOS Brigade has no breaks, even during exams, when club activies usually stop. Kyon compares it to a convenience store. Haruhi calls Kyon over from his game of Reversi with Itsuki to look at something on the computer. It's a green, blue, and red thing that looks like a circular maze, and Kyon can't tell what it is. Haruhi reveals what we know by now: It's the SOS Brigade logo. Kyon thinks it looks like a drunken tapeworm wrapped around a tube. Haruhi tells him to look closer, and points out that it says "SOS Brigade" right in the middle. Given the pointing out, Kyon moves from definitely not being able to see it to being unsure as to whether he can, but wouldn't disagree if someone said one way or the other. He narrates it to us in a more negative-y way, and wonders how many he used, and if someone has the time, they can total it up. Haruhi hears the narration and tells him he's got the most free time. Haruhi is considering putting it on their home page. It's not getting them visitors, which frustrates her. There's no content that livens it up, and she thinks that it's because Kyon got in the way of her posting ero-ero pictures of Mikuru. So, she decided to go with the logo approach. Kyon just thinks they should pull the site off the Net, but doesn't say so. The hit counter is still in double digits, and 90% of the hits was Haruhi checking for hits. (Y'know, hit counters should really filter out the site owner if you ask them to.) Kyon says she should write a blog, especially considering it's the leader's job to keep an activity record, but she considers that a hassle, and Kyon thinks the same thing for him. So now she wants him to put the logo on the site. He asks why she doesn't do it, and she says her job is to give orders. And if she did everything, there'd be nothing left for the rest of them. She asks how he expects to improve himself if he only does what he's told. He asks if she's telling him to do it or not, and she says to get on it. He reluctantly sat down and shrunk her picture to an appropriate size, pasted it into the file, and uploaded it.
Starting tomorrow, and going 'til summer break, exams are off. It's also when the teachers mark Kyon's answers wrong. He figures he'll ogle Mikuru for some comfort. He knocked on the door, expecting her to call out a wispy, "Yes?", but instead, Haruhi's voice telling him to come in. He opens the door to find Haruhi at the computer. Kyon asks if she's the only one here. Apparently, he doesn't make a habit of looking around the room, or Yuki's really good at blending in with the scenery, because she's here, as well. Okay, Kyon counts her as more of an accessory to the room rather than a member. Officially, she's a member of the literary club. (So is that club not cut from the list yet, or...?) So, he rephrases himself, asking if she and Yuki are the only ones there. Haruhi asks if he wants to file a complaint about it. Kyon thinks his complaints taken together would fill both sides of an A4-sized page. When he knocked, she thought they had a visitor. Kyon was taking a precaution against seeing Mikuru being changed again. Since, as he thinks, she doesn't get how to lock a door. He asks about a visitor. Haruhi seems surprised he doesn't remember. He hopes she won't say anything about Tanabata of three years ago. It's something he did without her permission. He claims not to know what she's talking about. It was the posters he put up. He lets us know that he put them up so the student council would keep it as a jack-of-all-trades counseling thing. He drew them himself and put them up.
Anyway, Haruhi points him to something she thinks is weird: the logo was warped like it was gather filtered. Also, the counter and title logo were gone. (Also, um, the encoding? It probably shouldn't be displaying accented capital Latin letters, a division symbol, a superscript "a", and the section sign.) It was subtle, but also different from what he had made. He tried reloading, but the server's file was corrupted. He asks if she knows how long it was like that, but she doesn't. (He could probably get an accurate answer from Yuki...) She asks who she can complain to. Kyon figures it's not worth doing that, and simply reuploads. No change. Haruhi figures it's hackers or crackers, but Kyon thinks it's just an error. Haruhi finds it irritating, and wonders if someone's doing a cyberterrorist attack. For some reason, we're zooming in on Yuki as Haruhi says she'll sentence whoever it is to 30 days of community service without trial.
There's a knock at the door, and Haruhi tells whoever it is to come in. It's Itsuki, who also finds it unusual that Mikuru isn't there. Haruhi brings up that juniors might have more exams to take. Kyon thinks to himself that everyone should go home, and wonders why they all want to meet there. He also wonders why Haruhi doesn't question Itsuki's knocking. (Well, you already provided a legitimate reason. Maybe she just figures his is the same.) Itsuki holds up a box of Chinese Checkers, but Kyon shakes his head. He's looking forward to Mikuru's tea.
Later, Kyon's still at the computer, stuck catering to Haruhi's orders. Finally, there's a knock, possibly granting Kyon a reprieve. It's Mikuru, offering her apologies for being late, as she had exams until fourth period. Kyon considers her the clubroom angel. Also, she brought a visitor: a girl with light green hair as long as her own, and orange hair decs on both sides. She bows.
Kyon can hardly believe that someone came to them for counseling. Her name is Kimidori Emiri (using the traditional Japanese name order), and she's a junior who seems very quiet and pure. (Yes, Kimidori, not Kato.) Haruhi summarizes her request — to find her missing boyfriend — whilst balancing a pen on her upper lip. She says "Yes." It seems she took his posters at face value. He asks what's troubling her. She says he hasn't been to school for days on end. When she calls, he doesn't answer either his cell or his home phone. She went to his house, but he wasn't there. And he lives alone, as his parents apparently live overseas, and she doesn't have their contact information. Haruhi guesses Canada, but Emiri says Honduras. Haruhi gives an enthusiastic "Indeed!", which Kyon wonders what that's about. He doesn't think she knows where it is. Kyon guesses it's somewhere below Mexico. (Well, it is in Central America, if that's what he means. I need a bit of a refresher to get its exact location, myself. Aha, here we go: bordering countries are Guatemala, El Salvador, and Nicaragua.) The house was pitch black when she did so, as well. She's worried. Haruhi says she understands how she feels. Kyon thinks to himself that she's lying. Haruhi wonders why she came to them. (And not, say, the missing persons division of the police department.) Apparently, he used to talk about them often. She gives his name to them, but we had to cut to a meowing cat so we couldn't hear. Haruhi asks who he is. (There's no audio, but the subtitle tells us that it sounded like he got along really well with the SOS Brigade. But then she says he's the president of the computer club.
(Kimidori Emiri, by the way, is voiced by Shiratori Yuri, who's done voices in Angelic Layer
, Love Hina
, Magic Knight Rayearth
, Revolutionary Girl Utena
, Rurouni Kenshin
, Sonic X
, YuYu Hakusho
, Sonic Adventure 2
, Valkyrie Profile
, and other works. Her dub voice is Hynden Walch, who has among her credits roles in American Dragon: Jake Long
, Codename: Kids Next Door
, Final Fantasy XIII
, Groundhog Day
, Jerry Maguire
, Lucky Star
, NYPD Blue,
Rugrats, some entries in the Soulcalibur series,
Spider-Man3, Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!, Teen Titans, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, The Batman, The Drew Carey Show, The Practice, The Secret Of Nimh
2, The Untouchables, The Wild Thornberrys Movie
'', and others.)
Hoo boy. Kyon remembers who that is: he's the one Haruhi forced to grope Mikuru's breast and then took pictures of, and then blackmailed into giving them a computer (and hook them up with internet, etc.) Kyon had totally forgotten about him. Haruhi figures they'll handle it, and since she's their first client, it's no charge! Kyon wonders about her planning on charging.
Mikuru silently enters the room where everyone is. Kyon asks Haruhi what she'll do if they can't solve the case that she accepted so easily. Haruhi doesn't even (audibly) consider the possibility. She thinks it's just a two-month-late occurrance of the "May melancholies". She thinks they'll just go to his room, slap him around a little, and drag him out. Kyon thinks she's serious. He wonders, though, with a girlfriend like Emiri, why he's hiding out in the Computer Club. He asks Mikuru if she and Emiri are friends, but she's never spoken to her before today. Kyon's thinking what I thought: Why didn't she go to a teacher or the police? He then wonders if she did, and they didn't take her seriously. He also thinks Haruhi's using this to attract bigger cases. (Oh, she finds bigger cases, all right, as we've seen.) Haruhi figures they can pass out fliers at the front gate like last time, but the idea seems to distress Mikuru.
The president's place seems pretty average to Kyon, as one-room condos go. 3-and-a-half floors and a basement. They enter, and find his door. (It certainly looks like it's going to do something
; it's drawn like it's going to move at least a little.) Haruhi jiggles the handle, but the door is locked. She rings the doorbell. Kyon thinks she got the order mixed up. She suggests going up on the balcony and breaking the glass. Problems: it's on the 3rd floor, and they're not burglars. Kyon doesn't want a criminal record (yet). She then figures they'll go to the manager and borrow a key. She'll say they're concerned friends. Kyon thinks that excuse is getting old. The door then clicked, and Yuki stared at Kyon "with eyes like liquid helium". (Fun fact: Helium boils
at −452.07 °F, or −268.93 °C. That's one cold look. It also melts at −457.96 °F, or −272.20 °C, so those eyes are at a fairly precise metaphorical temperature.) Haruhi says she didn't realize it was open. So, they go in. Haruhi thinks he's hiding under the bed or something. Kyon realizes she doesn't feel guilty about the whole computer thing.
So they look, and he's not there. (There's a live action poster on the wall above his bed. Anybody want to take a stab at identifying the people on it?) Haruhi thought he'd be in a corner curled up in a ball. She asks Kyon where he thinks someone with May melancholies two months late might go. He thinks he's either traveling Central and South America, or he doesn't want to be found. We look at books on a bookshelf, but there's too much kanji for me to even attempt a romanization. Yuki says, as the first words Kyon's heard from her that day, that they should leave. Itsuki concurs. Kyon is freaked out by his seriousness and facial closeness. He backs off a couple of inches, but reveals he's feeling strange in there, and says he's all too familiar with it when Haruhi discovers warabi mochi
with an expiry date of three days prior. She thinks they should eat it, as it'd be a waste to throw it out. She tries to force Mikuru to eat it. Itsuki finds that the room has the familiar scent of closed space. Kyon recalls that he's a real esper. Yuki says there's another dimensional layer, and it's beginning to shift. Kyon comes to realize they'd better book. Haruhi's eating some mochi.
They get outside. Haruhi is starving, so she figures that's it for the day, and dismisses them. Kyon asks about the case. Haruhi says they'll figure it out. Kyon thinks she's already bored. She runs off. They start to depart, as well, but there's a cut, and the three non-Haruhi extraordinary members of the club are still standing together, and Kyon is returning to them. Mikuru asks if something's the matter. Apparently, he wanted them to come back together without her seeing. He reveals to her that Itsuki and Yuki think there's something up with that room, and they'll find out what if they go again. They go.
Yuki reveals that there's "a localized, noncorrosive, fused alternate space" in that room, "happening independently in limited mode." Kyon thinks it's like she pulled words at random from a dictionary. Itsuki translates that there's something similar to closed space there. It's not the same as Haruhi's, as they have a different scent. He asks her if it's related to the disappearance of the computer club president. She says it is. She raises her hand, and some... noise comes out. All goes white. Kyon says he should've told her to wait. Now, the four are standing in what appears to be the middle of a vast desert. Mikuru grasps Kyon's forearm in fear. Kyon's mind is too busy trying to figure out where he is to enjoy that. Yuki says she's analyzed the entry code. It overlaps standard space, and is merely out of phase. Itsuki says it doesn't seem like closed space. Yuki says it's very similar, but there's some spatial data with "junk" information that seems to have come from Haruhi, but not much; she only triggered it. Kyon wonders if he and Mikuru can join the conversation. He asks if the president is here, and Itsuki says it seems that way. The alternate space created itself in his room, and he got trapped in it. Itsuki looks at Yuki, who starts to raise her hand, but Kyon says to wait, and asks to be told what she's about to do so he can be ready. She says "Nothing," and points out... some kind of freaky distorted image. Itsuki can feel its animosity. Kyon thinks those two can defend themselves, but Kyon and Mikuru have nothing. Kyon asks if she has lasre guns or anything, but she doesn't; they're not allowed firearms, as it's dangerous. Kyon thinks they wouldn't do her any good, and might also get left on the train or something. (Also, you know, killing someone in the past might make the Nazis win or whatever.) All of a sudden, the distortion stops moving, then manifests in the form of a giant insect. Specifically, a camel cricket
. Yuki calls it this dimension's creator. Haruhi was the catalyst, but the cause is different. Kyon notices that she's been still for a while, and tells her she can move. (Mikuru's gone from clutching his forearm to clutching his upper legs.)
Itsuki discovers that he can at least partially access his powers, but it's only a tenth of the usual power. He floats an orange glowing ball over his hand. He considers it possible that he only needed that much.
Kyon asks Yuki what the camel cricket is, and where the computer club guy is. The insect is actually a data lifeform that's using the guy's brain to survive better, and that he's inside. It's a manifestation of the thing the president most fears. So, if they beat it, the space will be shut down. Itsuki thinks it'll be over soon. The cricket is preparing to jump, it seems. Kyon tells him to hurry up. Itsuki tosses the ball upwards at a forward diagonal, and runs forward. He jumps, and hits his ball like a volleyball, saying "Fumoffu!" (When did this become Full Metal Panic!
? Tatoeba ne namida ga / koboreru hi ni ha...
) It leaps out of the way and almost lands on him, but he dodges in time. It leaps for Yuki, but she says something that's not subtitled, and which I can't make out. Thanks, guys! Anyway, it causes a force field, blocking the attack. A scarab flies over, drizzling sparkles. Text appears: "A scarab has tended to its wounds!" I guess it's supposed to be an RPG? Kyon and Mikuru run for it. Itsuki throws another fireball, calling it "Second Raid". Kyon asks if it worked. It falls in front of Yuki, its red eyes flickering to brown. It disappears in pixellation. There are sparkles flying. Itsuki asks if it's over, and Yuki nods.
Dadadadaa daa daa dat dadaaa! Daa daa daa daa dat dadaa dadaa, daa daa daa dadaaa...
The student in question is lying on the ground. Kyon thinks he's still alive. He suddenly finds himself standing in the condo again. Yuki sits at the computer and turns it on.
She narrates that something arrived 280 million years ago, with no way to survive at first, so it went into hibernation, shifting into a half-wakened state only when humans created computer networks. Then, data from a parallel world woke it up. That data was Haruhi's logo. It contains ~436 petabytes of data. (That's either ~436,000,000,000,000,000 bytes or 436 times 2 to the 50th, depending on how Yuki measures it. Either way, it's the next step up from terabyte
.) Kyon doesn't think it could even be 100 KB. This is starting to scare Kyon.
He doesn't think it can be coincidence. He thinks it out as he walks alone:
- The SOS Brigade is formed.
- Mikuru joins because she's the perfect mascot.
- Itsuki joins because he's a transfer student.
- Yuki joins, having been there from the start.
- Mikuru came from the future.
- Yuki's sort of... alienish.
If it was Haruhi's doing, it's too good to be true. He recalls that Koizumi said it's because it's what Haruhi wanted, but Kyon doesn't believe it, especially as he's just ordinary. But if everything Haruhi does is significant, is he there because he has some latent superpower or something? (Maybe he has the ability to have his narration be heard or something.)
In the clubroom, he wonders what he is. He thinks he's the conscience of the SOS Brigade. In other words, he's there to try to stop Haruhi's club activities from veering into illegal territory.
He asks Yuki about the camel cricket. She gives the "data lifeform" answer again, and he asks if it's related to her "entity thingy". While they have similar sources, the other evolved differently, and its race died out. Kyon thinks that that's what she thought until they found a survivor there. He wonders why it went to Earth, of all places. He thinks it would've been nice if it'd hibernated on Neptune. To think the Internet would be the nest for something like that.
Kyon suddenly realizes that nothing happening in this room when Haruhi showed up, or when she finished drawing the logo. (Well, it wasn't uploaded to the Internet yet.) Itsuki explains that the room has been in an alternate dimension for a while. Elements and forces cancel each other out, and saturate the room such that nothing else can blend in. Kyon asks if it turned into an ominous den of weirdness, but Itsuki thinks it's "probably" harmless. Kyon doesn't want to go insane or look for a noose to hang himself. Itsuki is doing his best to keep that from happening. Kyon hopes things like that aren't happening because
he's doing his best.
Kyon looks at the access counter... and finds it has 29819 hits! Yuki explains that the lifeform reproduces by installing hyperlinks. It copies information about itself into the brains of humans who see the emblem, creating closed spaces. (Good thing this is fiction, huh?) Kyon relates to us that since the data was corrupted, most viewers are probably not in the same situation. 8 people saw the correct logo, and 5 for North High students. It seems like they'll have to save them
, as well. When you look at it, it says "ZOZ Brigade". (And hey, look, the correct encoding is on! Yuki redid the logo, and Kyon put it on the page.
Kyon reports to Haruhi that the club dude came back. Haruhi still thinks it was the May melancholies or an argument with his girlfriend. Haruhi, however, is more excited by the hit counter.
Kyon wonders to himself if Yuki destroyed the data. Kyon asked the club chief, and he said he doesn't have a girlfriend. Kyon figures Yuki's always been in the middle of the scenario. It wouldn't surprise him if he found that Yuki had brought them the case through Emiri. Perhaps it was just to stave off Haruhi's boredom. He wonders if she's been doing that the whole time, keeping the weirder things at bay. He wonders if getting involved is what she wished for. If she gets lonely when alone.
("Hare Hare Yukai")
Next time: Remote Island Syndrome II
The unsubtitled bit Yuki said is apparently how she "casts spells" - it's apparently sped-up and backward recitation of SQL code.