My new strategy shall be to watch as many episodes in one sitting as I possibly can, in the hopes that maybe lots of heart attack moments all at once shall be better for my health in the long term than the dreaded anticipation of them being distributed evenly across my remaining life span. (This is why I am not a Health major.)
0:00 - "Hey there, HYBRIDS. If things seem too... obvious, check out Episode 6." Nice try, but I think I'm going to stay chronological for this as much as I can. (Besides, what if something shows up here that doesn't get explained in Episode 6?! Oh, the delayed gratification, I mean horror.)
(right before pressing Play) - I seriously
wish I had someone to hold my hand right now.
0:05 - WHY did you have to do this at night, Vince?! I swear, my paranoia can make even the crickets sound scary!
0:07 - "Next Week: Dreams" Huh, never noticed that before. Seems strange, why would they foreshadow this as early as now? (Then again I'm not an ARG puppetmaster. Yet.)
0:13 - Was the artist dummy's arms stretched out like that in the first video? Don't even wanna go back and check anymore.
0:21 - SHADOW! Have the feeling I'm supposed to be paying closer attention to that but this whole section of dialogue is making me think, "This Sunset Jog thing must be Vince's idea of a romantic date."
0:25 - It is.
0:27 - The Everyman HYBRID opening credits. For once here it's a welcome sight. (Have the very distinct feeling it's not going to stay that way in the succeeding entries though.)
* 33 videos in total. Screw you guys so hard.)
0:36 - Suddenly thinking those orange and green things on the shelf behind Vince might mean something. (red herring alert)
0:50 - Whenever I get to Evan's part in the opening credits I keep thinking He Who I Must Stop Looking For is gonna show up in the kitchen window. This mythos does funny, pitiable things to your psyche.
(right before Replay) - Calm down, North. Breathe. You got through Entry 19, you got through Entry 26, you can get through this whole entire thing.
1:04 - GAAAAH disorienting silence!
1:08 - Long pan through a dark playground. You guys are diabolical genre-savvy geniuses. And bastards.
1:17 - Vince talking about sunsets by the lake made me laugh way more than it should have.
1:23 - Static. You Know Who. Has to be. (Does this part get explained in Episode 6? God, I hope so.)
1:29 - That was the electrical post's shadow. Get a grip.
1:46 - That's Vince's reflection in the glass. Get a grip. (BTW, first time we see Evan speak.)
1:50 - I hear static! Or maybe that's not the same kind of static as before. Maybe that's just camera feedback? Did Vince leave the jacuzzi running?
("Okay, screw the all-in-one-sitting strategy. I'm having dinner."
"No, wait, you have to finish the episode first!"
1:53 - Is THAT You Know Who?
1:57 - Is THAT You Know Who?
2:00 - Is THAT You Know Who? (Great, now I'm channeling Weird Al from the Jurassic Park Rifftrax.)
2:04 - Is that OH FUCK THAT'S ACTUALLY HIM
(I have a sinking feeling this
is the sighting that gets explained away in Episode 6, not the highway one. Sigh... is it Episode 6 yet?)
2:10 - Aaaaaaand he's gone. I hope that was intentional. Pleasedontcomebackpleasedontcomebackpleasedontcomeback
2:11 - AAACK HE'S STILL THERE
2:15 - Please, for the love of mercy keep talking about exercise some more.
2:20 - Did he just move? I could have sworn I saw him move. (You see? Pitiable, pitiable things.)
2:25 - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JEFF PLEASE TURN AWAY FROM THE DOOR
2:30 - Wait, what's that yoga move called again? The Downer Dog Stretch? Please, do tell.
2:35 - I laughed at the way he said "yoga mat." Felt like a sarcastic Dane Cook impression.
2:44 - I think I know where all that homoerotic stuff came from.
2:52 - I really need to start a proper daily exercise regimen.
2:54 - Dontstandupdontstandupdontstandupdontstandup
2:56 - Wait, I don't see him.
3:13 - Why do they have purple dumbbells?
3:34 - That's Vince's reflection again. Get a grip.
3:40 - That's Evan's foot scraping the floor. Get a grip.
3:48 - Really? You shouldn't stretch after
you exercise? Fascinating.
4:04 - Abrupt ending again. I wonder what sort of weird off-topic rambling I'm missing on the EH Unfiction threads.
4:10 - six seconds of blank footage. I wonder if that's relevant to anything in any way?
Next up... Dinner. Then Dreams.
(Yes, I know there's a chance the sightings here could have been faked in-story. Like I said, I'm a wuss.)